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Sunday, December 12, 2004
Oh, The Horror!!!
Last night was Hubby's Place of Employment (PoE) Christmas/End of Year Party. Yippee Skip.
A little background. I'm not a big fan of the PoE Christmas party. Not sure why. Maybe it's been the mediocre food (ok... a couple of years ago, it was good), or the themes (last year was Mardi Gras [at a Christmas party?] and the two years before that, it was "Casino Night"- I'm not much of a gambler, so...) or the lameness of the programs, or more likely, their liberal use of karaoke. I shudder to think of it...
That brings us to this year. This year's theme was Hollywood. You were supposed to come as your favorite Hollywood actor or character or in eveningwear. (I was joking that I hoped someone would show up dressed as Spiderman... thus proving that I should be careful what I wish for.... more on that later...) On the agenda for the evening? Dinner, company awards, a band, a costume contest, door prizes and... a talent show.
OK... so I drop T1 and T2 off at R & J's house (where they were hanging out for the evening), got dressed (driving in a floor length gown and high heels is no fun) and off we went. At least R & I looked good. (uh... R... why didn't we get pics of the guys last night? They had on suits and everything... looked pretty darn good...) Here's R and I before the "chemical fortification" began (and, oh, yeah, we definitely needed it).
OK, we pick up Hubby at work and headed over to the hotel where the party was being held (nice place). Got kinda lost trying to find the way out of the parking garage (that's what we get for following the herd), and signed in. We got a coupon for a free "professional portrait" (more on that later) and coupons for 2 free drinks apiece (not nearly enough). We got our first round and went to stand in line for the photos.
Once the photos were taken, we went into the dining room for dinner. Salad was pretty good (can you really screw up salad?) They cleared those dishes and then brought out the main course- (6 oz.) steak and (3) shrimp, a quarter cup of mashed potatoes, one baby carrot, and a quarter of a baby bok choy. (Hubby immediately sent his back- he's allergic to shrimp. They made him a new plate, but we were almost finished before his dinner got there). The food was good- just not a lot of it. We weren't still hungry when we were finished, but we were definitely not stuffed, either.
During dinner, the winner of last year's karaoke contest sang. Not even close to dinner music. It was so loud that we had to yell to be heard. That was just annoying.
The emcees for the evening were funny... if you knew them and their little inside jokes. If you didn't know them, it was pretty lame. They gave out a few awards (Employee of the year, etc). Then, it happened...
The Bat Signal appeared on the screen behind the stage. Batman, Robin (a girl- this is important to the story), Spiderman, Cat Woman, Wonder Woman, and Superman came up on the stage.(Didn't I say I should be careful what I wish for?) They paired up to announce other awards. (who knew that Superman had a Mexican accent?) This was completely and totally horrid on WAY too many levels. The whole idea was just silly. But, then, the sexual innuendos started. Spiderman started it off by making a comment about Wonder Woman's costume... and Cat Woman's costume. Then Batman said something about Robin as she was trying to find the answer to a riddle. Then Batman said something else about the "closeness" of his partnership with Robin, but then said that, after seeing Cat Woman, he wanted to turn the duo into a trio (at which point Robin and Cat Woman started "fighting" while Batman read the description of another award, but kept making comments about them fighting over him.) It was pathetic and totally uncalled for at a company party, especially considering the strict sexual harassment training they've gone through.
Well, after that embarrassment, the band started up. It's not that they were bad, necessarily... they just didn't play anything anyone would want to dance to. It was so much fun that R decided to do a little origami...
And here's the frog she made: 
So, after the band played a while (and we'd had more chemical fortification- I'm glad they had a decent bar!) the emcees came back up and they started the costume contest. (Elf was robbed! Robbed, I tell you!) Then... the talent show. I originally wrote a long rant about each act, but... that's not fair. They're not professional performers. All I will say is that the guitar dude was cool, and that karaoke by any other name still stinks. (One cool moment, though. The husband of one of the employees was introduced. He has just returned from Iraq. He got a standing ovation. That was awesome.)
The band came back on for a while longer. Then, it was the moment we've all been waiting for, the reason we'd stayed- the door prizes... (You know it's bad when the company has to have "must be present to win" door prizes and save 'em until the end of the party. Makes you think that maybe they knew that they're not very good at planning Christmas parties. Which is weird, because they're company picnic is always great.) They had a bunch of door prizes- restaurant gift certificates, company electronics, and the big prize was a trip to Cancun. So, they started picking raffle tickets out of the bowl. Except for the Big Prize, if your ticket was chosen, you went back to the prize table and then pick a "bingo ball", and that determined which prize you received.
So, we look up on the big screen and... there's Hubby's number. He heads back to the prize table. While he's gone, I tell R that the one thing we don't need is the DVD/home theater system because we already have one. Hubby comes back, and... he got the DVD/home theater system. Oh, well...
Once they announced the Big Prize winner, we were out of there. The guys went in search of the car (it was easier to find it than it was to find our way out, obviously).
No, it wasn't a horrible night. Yes, there were the bad parts (it was a party by HR for HR, it was boring, and it was offensive.) But there were good points, too. The food was good, if not plentiful. We hung out with good friends. I even got to meet the new wife of one of Hubby's co-workers. That was all good. And we got some new electronics that we don't really need.
Anyone need a DVD/home theater system? I can make you a good deal....
A little background. I'm not a big fan of the PoE Christmas party. Not sure why. Maybe it's been the mediocre food (ok... a couple of years ago, it was good), or the themes (last year was Mardi Gras [at a Christmas party?] and the two years before that, it was "Casino Night"- I'm not much of a gambler, so...) or the lameness of the programs, or more likely, their liberal use of karaoke. I shudder to think of it...
That brings us to this year. This year's theme was Hollywood. You were supposed to come as your favorite Hollywood actor or character or in eveningwear. (I was joking that I hoped someone would show up dressed as Spiderman... thus proving that I should be careful what I wish for.... more on that later...) On the agenda for the evening? Dinner, company awards, a band, a costume contest, door prizes and... a talent show.
OK... so I drop T1 and T2 off at R & J's house (where they were hanging out for the evening), got dressed (driving in a floor length gown and high heels is no fun) and off we went. At least R & I looked good. (uh... R... why didn't we get pics of the guys last night? They had on suits and everything... looked pretty darn good...) Here's R and I before the "chemical fortification" began (and, oh, yeah, we definitely needed it).
OK, we pick up Hubby at work and headed over to the hotel where the party was being held (nice place). Got kinda lost trying to find the way out of the parking garage (that's what we get for following the herd), and signed in. We got a coupon for a free "professional portrait" (more on that later) and coupons for 2 free drinks apiece (not nearly enough). We got our first round and went to stand in line for the photos.
Once the photos were taken, we went into the dining room for dinner. Salad was pretty good (can you really screw up salad?) They cleared those dishes and then brought out the main course- (6 oz.) steak and (3) shrimp, a quarter cup of mashed potatoes, one baby carrot, and a quarter of a baby bok choy. (Hubby immediately sent his back- he's allergic to shrimp. They made him a new plate, but we were almost finished before his dinner got there). The food was good- just not a lot of it. We weren't still hungry when we were finished, but we were definitely not stuffed, either.
During dinner, the winner of last year's karaoke contest sang. Not even close to dinner music. It was so loud that we had to yell to be heard. That was just annoying.
The emcees for the evening were funny... if you knew them and their little inside jokes. If you didn't know them, it was pretty lame. They gave out a few awards (Employee of the year, etc). Then, it happened...
The Bat Signal appeared on the screen behind the stage. Batman, Robin (a girl- this is important to the story), Spiderman, Cat Woman, Wonder Woman, and Superman came up on the stage.(Didn't I say I should be careful what I wish for?) They paired up to announce other awards. (who knew that Superman had a Mexican accent?) This was completely and totally horrid on WAY too many levels. The whole idea was just silly. But, then, the sexual innuendos started. Spiderman started it off by making a comment about Wonder Woman's costume... and Cat Woman's costume. Then Batman said something about Robin as she was trying to find the answer to a riddle. Then Batman said something else about the "closeness" of his partnership with Robin, but then said that, after seeing Cat Woman, he wanted to turn the duo into a trio (at which point Robin and Cat Woman started "fighting" while Batman read the description of another award, but kept making comments about them fighting over him.) It was pathetic and totally uncalled for at a company party, especially considering the strict sexual harassment training they've gone through.
Well, after that embarrassment, the band started up. It's not that they were bad, necessarily... they just didn't play anything anyone would want to dance to. It was so much fun that R decided to do a little origami...
And here's the frog she made:
So, after the band played a while (and we'd had more chemical fortification- I'm glad they had a decent bar!) the emcees came back up and they started the costume contest. (Elf was robbed! Robbed, I tell you!) Then... the talent show. I originally wrote a long rant about each act, but... that's not fair. They're not professional performers. All I will say is that the guitar dude was cool, and that karaoke by any other name still stinks. (One cool moment, though. The husband of one of the employees was introduced. He has just returned from Iraq. He got a standing ovation. That was awesome.)
The band came back on for a while longer. Then, it was the moment we've all been waiting for, the reason we'd stayed- the door prizes... (You know it's bad when the company has to have "must be present to win" door prizes and save 'em until the end of the party. Makes you think that maybe they knew that they're not very good at planning Christmas parties. Which is weird, because they're company picnic is always great.) They had a bunch of door prizes- restaurant gift certificates, company electronics, and the big prize was a trip to Cancun. So, they started picking raffle tickets out of the bowl. Except for the Big Prize, if your ticket was chosen, you went back to the prize table and then pick a "bingo ball", and that determined which prize you received.
So, we look up on the big screen and... there's Hubby's number. He heads back to the prize table. While he's gone, I tell R that the one thing we don't need is the DVD/home theater system because we already have one. Hubby comes back, and... he got the DVD/home theater system. Oh, well...
Once they announced the Big Prize winner, we were out of there. The guys went in search of the car (it was easier to find it than it was to find our way out, obviously).
No, it wasn't a horrible night. Yes, there were the bad parts (it was a party by HR for HR, it was boring, and it was offensive.) But there were good points, too. The food was good, if not plentiful. We hung out with good friends. I even got to meet the new wife of one of Hubby's co-workers. That was all good. And we got some new electronics that we don't really need.
Anyone need a DVD/home theater system? I can make you a good deal....
