Yeah, Right, Whatever

Andy Rooney took the stand in a fraud trial on Monday, and he started off his testimony by... well, by being Andy.

Rooney, 86, entered the courtroom muttering, and he balked when asked to swear to tell "nothing but the truth, so help you God."

"I don't know about God," he said, taking the witness chair.

Sir, you're 86 years old. Your lack of clarity on the issue will be resolved in short order, one way or the other. Wouldn't it be in your best interest to hedge your bets? Take out a bit of "fire insurance" perhaps? Or... at least not get yourself into... uh... hot water. You're just asking for it, ya know?