Yeah, Right, Whatever: You Know You're From Austin When...

Saturday, April 30, 2005

Got this from Blogthis. Funny stuff...

You Know You're From Austin When...

You never bother looking at the Capital Metro schedule because you know the drivers have never seen it. (CapMetro scares me)

You've been to more than one baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor. (uh... no)

You have a very strong opinion where your coffee beans are grown and can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian. (Doesn't everyone?)

You know that anyone wearing pants in November is just visiting from Ohio. (well, duh)

You are thinking of taking an adult class but you can't decide between yoga, aromatherapy, conversational Mandarin or one on building your own web site. (wow... tough call)

You haven't been to Hippie Hollow since the first month you moved to Austin. (never been there)

A man walks on The Drag in full leather regalia and crotchless chaps ...You don't notice. (uh... I might notice that)

You think any guy with a George Clooney haircut must be visiting from the midwest. (well... yeah)

You know that any woman with a George Clooney haircut is not a tourist. (pretty much, yeah)

You keep a list of companies to boycott. (Yeah, but it's a different list from most of the Austinites)

Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay, the woman who delivers your mail is straight and your Mary Kay Lady is a guy in drag. (would not surprise me in the least)

You occasionally see a guy on a unicycle whiz by you in your car and you say to yourself, "Oh yeah, it's that guy again..." (I've heard of him... never seen him, though)

You start to worry when you don't see the cross-dressing, bearded guy in-a-tutu-and- bikini-top-who-has-made-a-statement-with-his-grocery-cart-and-cardboard-box-art/shelter on your way to work in the morning. Scarier yet, you know his name is name is actually Leslie. (I'd be more worried if he didn't run for mayor)

You'll make dinner or bar plans around who's got the best margaritas. (well, yeah... of course!)

You have a tough time deciding on one of Austin's eight 24-hour resaraunts (Katz', Kerbey Lane, Star Seeds, Magnolia Cafe, IHOP, Denny's, the Kettle, or Jim's). (This is an old list, because I'm pretty sure Jim's and The Kettle are gone... My choice? Katz')

You complain about their prices but still shop at Central Market for the scene. (The scene? No... the cool goodies you can't find anywhere else. And their bulk spice section is cheaper than any supermarket's spice section.)

You don't even think about getting good seats to the Longhorns football games. (Well, duh... and why would I even WANT seats for a Longhorn game... except the one in Dallas???)

You know the exact locations of three towing yards. (I'll admit it... I don't get this one)

Your summer shoes are your Birks and your winter shoes are your Birks w/ socks. (ew... uh... NO)

Your entire wardrobe consists of: a black tank top, a GAP white T-shirt, second-hand Levi's, second-hand cut-off Levi's, overalls, Longhorns sweats, anything polyester from the 70's, a bikini, Tevas, Birkenstocks, and running shoes. (obviously, they're talking about people who live in Austin proper... my entire wardrobe consists of jeans... jean shorts... t-shirts... OU sweatshirts... running shoes... boots... slip on sandals... yeah, I think that's about it)

You often find yourself wondering why magazine editors insist that swimsuit season starts on Memorial Day when it's really the end of February or at the latest, the beginning of March. (not sure about swimsuit season, but that is when I get the shorts out)

You consider chips, salsa, Kerby Queso, and Shiner Bock beer a well balanced meal. (uh... it's not?)

You find yourself making beaded necklaces to give away as Christmas gifts. (while I haven't done it, I can imagine it... scary, eh?)

100 degrees for three straight months isn't unreasonable, 110 degrees is. And 90 degrees anywhere between May and September seems a little chilly. (well, yeah... )

You figure skin cancer is inevitable b/c it's so DAMN HOT even your sunscreen won't stay on. (Unfortunately, yes)

When you go out, you make sure you've grabbed your water bottle before checking to see if you've got your wallet and keys. (I really should do that more often)

Nobody's aware that Southwestern went out of style. (uh... when did that happen?)

You ask yourself constantly if that's a cute guy or a butch girl. And you really don't care either way cuz it's fun to wonder. (maybe not constantly, but I do wonder more often here than in other places)

You'd rather ride your bike than get in a car without air conditioning. At least on your bike, you're guaranteed a breeze regardless of traffic. (get into a car... in Austin... in August... without air conditioning? no way)

You see more Texas flags flying than American flags. (in Austin? eh... more rainbow flags than American flags... just sayin' is all... )

You spend so much time at MoJo's Coffee House, you finally start bringing in your own CD's for the staff to play. (I really need to go there sometime)

Your professor decides in the middle of the Government lecture that now's as good of a time as ever to tell his class of 500 he's gay. Like you didn't know. Like you even care. (I'm sure that's happened more than once at UT)