Yeah, Right, Whatever

To demonstrate that the president is a modern-day Nero, fiddling while global warming threatens to burn the world, a group of "citizen activists" will take part in a "global outpouring of anger at White House inaction" on the issue by wearing George Bush masks and playing violins throughout Washington, D.C., on Friday.

At least 10 masked fiddlers will perform at some of the most public places in the city... Following that unusual protest, the group will conduct a parade of at least 50 hybrid vehicles around the White House on Saturday morning.

Reps. Ed Markey, D-Mass., and Joseph Crowley, D-N.Y., said Thursday they intend to introduce a bill to preserve the current prohibition on sharp scissors, tools and knives in airliner cabins."The Bush administration proposal is just asking the next Mohamed Atta to move from box cutters to scissors as the weapon that's used in the passenger cabin of planes," Markey said.

Hawley has complained that airport screeners spend too much time confiscating small objects from innocent passengers. He wants them to focus instead on searching for what the TSA views as a more serious threat: improvised bombs.

Airlines generally support the plan. So does the pilots' largest union, the Air Line Pilots Association.

Bob Hesselbein, the union's national security committee chairman, said pilots think it's more important to focus on passengers' intent rather than what they're carrying.

"A Swiss army knife in the briefcase of a frequent flyer we know very well is a tool," Hesselbein said. "A ballpoint pen in the hands of a terrorist is a weapon."

ABC’s Jessica Yellin, live on Wednesday’s Good Morning America, exploited First Lady Laura Bush’s tour of White House Christmas displays, cards and decorations to hit her with an emotion-laden inquiry about regretting the war in Iraq.

Iraqi and U.S. forces have removed more than 4,200 mortar rounds from a major weapons cache found Nov. 27 outside an abandoned military base near Kirkuk, Iraq, military officials reported.... All ammunition removed so far has come from one mound located in a field full of similar mounds.

Recently released crime statistics show the homicide rate in California is 265 percent higher than the death rate suffered by U.S. and British military personnel in Iraq.

According to the report "Crime in California 2004," compiled by California Attorney General Bill Lockyer, there were 2,394 reported homicides in the Golden State last year. That compares with 905 deaths of coalition forces in Iraq, chiefly Americans and Brits, during the same time period.

I am calling for the immediate withdrawl of all 47 sane people in the state of California. It's a failed battle, and those 47 people are worn out and broken. We need a new plan, and an exit strategy to bring our sane people home to the Red States where they belong.

Protesters confronted controversial professor Ward Churchill at the University of Colorado yesterday, asking him to circle the names of 9-11 victims who deserved to die on a 12-foot banner memorializing them.Churchill later clarified his "little Eichmanns" comment, saying he applied it "only to those described as 'technicians.' Thus, it was obviously not directed to the children, janitors, food service workers, firemen and random passers-by killed in the 9-11 attack."..."I then asked him if the policemen deserved to die, and he became so flustered he just quickly walked away down to his office kind of bodyguarded by his students."

Oliver Smith was driving his toy car at 2mph on the pavement when he was pulled over by a policeman reports the Mirror. Oliver's grandad Derek was warned by the policeman that the boy could be charged for having no tax or MoT certificate.