Yeah, Right, Whatever

I have discovered the source of global warming in the 21st century. It's all the hot air coming from the Alito Confirmation hearing in DC. Here's a few of the slow leaks that whistled out of the Senators' pie-holes today during their pompous pontifications opening statements.

"They are worried that you would be a judicial activist who would restrict our rights and freedoms." -Dick "The Turbin" Durbin, D- IL No, sir. They're worried that if they don't get RID of the activist judges, we won't HAVE any rights or freedoms left.-B

"In an era when the White House is abusing power, is excusing and authorizing torture, and is spying on American citizens, I find Judge Alito's support for an all-powerful executive branch to be genuinely troubling." - Ted "Pour-me-a-Double" Kennedy, D- Taxachusetts No, sir. Judge Alito stated that the responsibility of producing laws that impact the average person should be in the hands of the people responsible TO the average person (ie elected officials) and not appointed-for-life ideologues. -B

"We will need to examine whether - as your critics contend - you will consistently side against the individual or whether your supporters are correct that you are a mainstream conservative who will fairly decide all cases." - Herb Kohl, D-Wisconsin well, Senator, if you actually check his critics' sources, you'll find that they don't HAVE any. They just regurgitate whatever their brain-washers tell them. -B

"We need judges who will stand up and tell the executive branch it is wrong when it ignores or distorts the laws passed by Congress. We need judges who see themselves as custodians of the rights and freedoms that the Constitution guarantees, even when the president of the United States is telling the country that he should be able to decide unilaterally how far those freedoms go." -Russ "Free speech is what I say it is" Feingold, D-Wisconsin We all know that you think that freedom is an abstract term for you. You have a problem with civil liberties when it affects your party's ability to get elected. Can't have that, now, can we? -B

"I think it's fair for us to try to determine whether your legal reasoning is within the mainstream of American legal thought and whether you're going to follow the law regardless of your personal views about the law." -Diane "There is only one issue" Feinstein, D-California Mainstream? Senator, despite what the nice folks at NARAL have been telling you, mainstream America (ie- the majority) do not agree that abortion on demand for social reasons is acceptable, nor that it is the most important issue to our country. An important issue, yes. The be-all-and-end-all? Only for a few, on both sides of the issue. -B

"we - you and I and this committee - owe it to the American people in this one democratic moment to have a conversation about the issues that will affect their lives profoundly. They're entitled to know what you think."- Joe "Partisan? Who me?" Biden, D-Delaware. That's scary. He was almost right. He just didn't actually say what he meant. He doesn't want to know what Judge Alito thinks- he wants to know how he will vote on his pet issues. Subtle but important difference. Nice try, though. -B

Let's face a few ugly facts. The Senators already know how Judge Alito is going to answer, and they know how they're going to respond. They just want the face-time to look good to their respective backers.

I would love to see Judge Alito throw them some curve balls. "Yes, I still think that Roe v. Wade is bad case law. Plenty of Pro-Choice people agree with me. It doesn't matter if you feel it was a good outcome or a bad one... as case law goes, it plain stinks." Or maybe, "No, President Bush and his administration are NOT violating citizens Constitutional rights by doing no-warrant taps. He's not going to be impeached. Next!" Or, "No, Senator, I'm not going to declare legislation unconstitutional just because you don't like it."

Ah... a girl can dream. But I still think I deserve the Nobel Prize...