Yeah, Right, Whatever

It's been a while since I've done a round up, mostly because the stuff in the news hasn't been worth it (I mean, you can only tolerate so much Britney and Anna Nicole without going crazy). I'll go ahead and sort it into catagories for you- I know some of you will skip over the stupid stuff, with good reason.

In fact, let's start with the stupid stuff. I didn't watch the Oscars. Had no desire to watch it. I don't think I saw any of the movies nominated, and I really didn't feel like being a voyeur for the Goracle Love In. But a couple of interesting things did happen, or so I've read:

• Jack went bald for the occasion (and didn't look half bad).
  
• Helen Mirren has been invited round for tea- at the Palace.
  
• Martin Scorsese finally won an Oscar.
  
• In an "entertainment" related story, James Cameron (of Titanic fame) has announced that he found Jesus' tomb (and he was married, had kids, etc. etc. etc.) (There was a very good book - fiction, of course- about something like this. I'll give the ending away, because it's not a big shocker... the tomb - and the body- weren't Jesus'. They were frauds.)
  

Now let's look at a little politics:

• The Council on Foreign Relations, formerly a credible policy group, has decided to add Angelina Jolie to its ranks. (What are they thinking?)
  
• People who weren't alive when there were slaves in this country are apologizing for it.
  
• The headline reads " Is Hillary Afraid of Being Embarassed by Bill?" (I think they forgot one word- "again")
• Also, if Hillary is elected, she's planning on "using the former Presidents as diplomats." (Is that Hill-speak for "get Bill out of Washington as often as possible"?)
  
• In a surprising twist, Al Sharpton's great(x) grandparental unit was owned by Strom Thurmond's great(x) grandparental unit. (No news as to whether or not Sheets Byrd's ancestors owned JC Watt's ancestors or anything like that. I mean, that wouldn't be news, right?)
  

And here's what's new in the world of science:

• Evidently, someone at NASA has watched Armageddon. (Do I really need to explain this one?)
• "Your uncle was a monkey" as an insult may be a more recent occurance, if these scientists are right (which they're not, but still... it's fun to watch people theorize on the impossible... kind of like watching a train wreck).
  
• The ground near Naples, Italy, is rising due to magma movement. (The caldera there is part of the volcanic arc which included Vesuvius.) Another eruption? Not sure, but plenty for geophysicists to go on and on about.
  
• The "Clovis People" were not the first to populate the Americas. We don't know who did, but it wasn't them. (Makes you love science, doesn't it? Especially when they use flawed methodology like carbon dating to figure it out. When living mollusk shells read as thousands of years old according to radiometric dating, you have a seriously flawed methodology.)
• Headline reads "Choreographer of Northern Lights Revealed." Unfortunately, the article goes on to explain the method The Choreographer used to make the auroras so beautiful, not Who made the auroras. (read the lyrics- one of my favorite songs) Oh, well... it's not like I expected anything different.
  

And, in the "Random File":

• Jan Ullrich retires.
  
• Qatar, Oman, and the UAE, in a sudden bout of sanity, have agreed to flyovers by the Israeli Air Force if they want to bomb Iran into the Stone Age. (Don't worry- I'm sure the sanity will be short-lived.)
• King Louie's final speech calls for Bush's impeachment. (And that's different from the rest of his speeches... how?)
• Prince Harry might be a kidnapping target once he gets to Iraq.
  
• Here's a hint for these parents- if you don't like it, GET YOUR KIDS OUT! (reason #4239754 why parents should seriously consider homeschooling.)
  

There you go. Time for more coffee.