Yeah, Right, Whatever

My dad reads the dead tree edition in the morning. Me? I read the cyber-edition. Look at me, the environmentalist whacko.

Let's see where my mouse wandered this morning:

General:

• Evidently, smoking is a form of slavery. Glad to know that.
  
• Soldiers wanting to go home is news? Of course they want to come home. They're in a war zone, for goodness sake.
  
• I'm not entirely sure this was a good use of a concealed weapon, ya know? That's just plain scary.
  
• Wow... a $38 million keystroke. That's not good.
  
• When going to a golf course, one does not usually expect to find a skull at the 14th tee.
  
• Chiquita paid terrorists millions in protection money. Not surprising, considering where they harvest.
• How much do taxpayers get to pay to have R2-D2 collect their mail? "Too much" is my guess.
  
• "God has no borders." God also has a problem with breaking the law, if I remember my Bible verses correctly.
  
• Rosie's a Truther? Who knew?
  

Politics:

• In the world of "well, duh", we have the double standard when it comes to scandals (and non-scandals) in DC. GOP knows it, DNC knows it, and the MSM ignores it. Like I said... well, duh.
  
• Pro-Life groups are gunning for "Catholic" politicians. Good for them. How they can divorce their politics from their supposed belief system is beyond me. Personally, I think it shows their true belief system.
  
• Neal Gabler says he knows who signs his paycheck. I'm not so sure he does. Either that, or he just doesn't care.
  
• The Prancing Pony is having trouble in his home state. Isn't that how The Goracle lost in 2000?
  

Science:

• Is it just me, or are super-mosquitoes scary?
  
• Scientists are studying why people's thought-trains tend to jump the tracks.
  
• Secular creationism? huh?
  
• Playing music can make you smart. Makes sense.
  
• Can you wrap your brain around the concept of a 248-sided object? Scientists have mapped one.
  
• Playing crash/smash racing video games leads to reckless driving on the road. Go figure.
  
• Knut the polar bear should be killed, according to some people. Why? What was his crime? Well... he didn't die when his mother abandoned him, and he's been hand-raised so far. "It's unnatural. He'll never be a proper polar bear." He lives in a zoo, people. He doesn't need to know how to kill dinner.
  

Environmental:

• How exactly did The Goracle become an expert anyway?
  
• Someone wants to debate The Goracle on global warming. Will he accept?
  
• There's a new global warming documentary... one I'm more apt to see. Probably because it refutes The Goracle's fanciful tale.
  
• So... a NASA scientist has been muzzled because of his global warming beliefs, eh? Well, yeah... except for all those on-the-job media interviews he's done. All 1,400 of them.
  

Sports:

• Fans asked for this policy? Sounds more like the PC police.
  
• Woohoo! The Lady Sooners are still in the NCAA tourney.
  

Whacky:

• Suing because of a cat bite? Well, if the insurance won't pay, I guess...
  
• Maybe more people would have showed up for his "funeral" if he wasn't such a paranoid jerk. Just a thought...
  
• This headline sounds like the beginning of a bad joke.
  
• His cheekbones were killing his wife? Huh?
  
• Cool story. He got his truck back. But... why does he drink his coffee in his garage... in his undies?
  
• An 85-minute wait at a restaurant? I think I'll pass.
  
• Since when do Hooters' girls wear skirts? (The article is about a new Hooters opening up in Tel Aviv. I'm not sure about this one... )
  
• Stupid trademark lawsuit. I hope the chocolate shop loses this one.
  

Coffee... need more coffee...