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Friday, September 28, 2007

The *s Have It

The votes have been tallied, and the winner is...

Barry Bonds' 756th homerun ball will be headed to Cooperstown... with a big ole * branded onto it. Works for me.

In case you were wondering, Cooperstown is happy about this. It wouldn't be going to the Hall of Fame at all if it wasn't for Ecko buying the ball and putting it up for popular vote.

Gotta love it.

Extra! Extra! Read All About It!

News... News... and more news:

Other Stuff:

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Wednesday's Heroes

Lance Cpl. Cory Jamieson
Lance Cpl. Cory Jamieson
Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania
Personal Security Detachment, Headquarters and Support Company, Task Force 1st Battalion, 4th Marine Regiment, attached to Regimental Combat Team 2

Hippocrates once said, "Art is long, life is short".

Cpl. Jeremy David Allbaugh lived a short life. But, he was immortalized recently in acrylics by a Lance Cpl. Jamieson who painted a mural in his honor.
"I feel sad because it is for him, but it makes me happy because I can still do something for him," said Lance Cpl. Jamieson. "I thought about it during the ceremony in the chapel. I looked up at the stained glass windows and I thought 'I should do something like that'".

Along with help from family, a fellow Marine and a Morale, Wefare and Recreation manager, Jamieson had the paint and tools needed.

"I would paint eight or nine hours in the gym and time would fly by," Jamieson said.

Cpl. Jeremy David Allbaugh, 21 years old from Luther, Oklahoma, was killed by a roadside bomb on July 5, 2007 while conducting combat operations in Qaim, Iraq.

"He believed very strongly in what our country's doing," said his mother, Jenifer Allbaugh. "They were doing good things over there, and we don't see that in the news or media. There's a lot of progress being made. I wish more people would talk to our boys who are in it and not our politicians because they see it firsthand".

These brave men and women sacrifice so much in their lives so that others may enjoy the freedoms we get to enjoy everyday. For that, I am proud to call them Hero.
We Should Not Only Mourn These Men And Women Who Died, We Should Also Thank God That Such People Lived

This post is part of the Wednesday Hero Blogroll. For more information about Wednesday Hero, or if you would like to post it on your blog, you can go here.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Is It Wrong...

... of me to say, "you can have 'em"????

How Would You Score?

This is scary. Not surprising, but scary.
Students at many of the country's most prestigious colleges and universities are graduating with less knowledge of American history, government, and economics than they had as incoming freshmen, with Harvard University seniors scoring a "D+" average on a 60-question multiple-choice exam about civic literacy.

...At universities such as Princeton, Yale, Cornell, Duke, and Berkeley, seniors scored lower on the test, available here, than freshmen, living proof of the broadening relevancy of the old Harvard adage that the university is a storehouse of knowledge because "the freshmen bring so much and the seniors take away so little."
You can take the test here. My boys will be studying American History next year, and you can bet that they will take this test at the end of the year. And they will pass it.

They will be freshmen... in high school.

PS- yes, I took it. I scored 91%.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Let's Put It To a Vote

A Little Longhorn Humor... for all you Sooners out there

1. What do you call a drug ring in Austin ?
A huddle.

2. Four UT Longhorns in a car, who's driving?
The police.

3. The UT Longhorns have adopted a new "Honor System". Yes your Honor,
No your Honor.

4. The UT Longhorns knew they had to do something for their defense, so
they hired a new defensive coordinator: F. Lee Bailey.

5. How do the UT Longhorns spend their first week at fall practice?
Studying their Miranda Rights.

6. What do you say to a Longhorn in a suit?
Will the defendant please rise?

7. If you see Longhorn football player on a bike, why don't you swerve to hit him?
It might be your bike!

8. The Longhorns employ scouts. But to look out for cops, not to scout
high school kids.

9. I heard a rumor that the Texas Department of Corrections plans to
build a new prison in Austin , Texas in order to allow Longhorns to walk
to school.

10. What do you cal! l it, when a Longhorn goes on vacation?
Time off for good behavior.

11. Why couldn't the Longhorn get into a huddle on the football field?
It's a parole violation to associate with known felons.

12. Obviously Coach Mack Brown is not paying his players if they have to
resort to robbing people.

13. What's the first sentence in the UT playbook? "You have the right to remain silent."

14. Book 'em, Horns!

Be warned, me hearties!

Today is International Talk Like a Pirate Day!

For The Marines

For all you Marines (and... well... everyone else) who are more than a little angry at Rep. Murtha for all of his anti-military rants and unwarranted attacks on Marines just doing their duty, I give you this: Chesty Comes Down to Chat With Murtha. (h't to Raven).

Wednesday's Hero

1st Lt. Forrest P. Ewens
1st Lt. Forrest P. Ewens
26 years old from Tonasket, Washington
1st Battalion, 32nd Infantry Regiment, 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 10th Mountain Division (Light Infantry)
June 16, 2006

The love of Megan Ewens's life arrived at Arlington National Cemetery on July 7, 2006. His ashes inside a small wooden box, the box inside a coffin, the coffin draped with an American flag and carried on a caisson pulled by six black horses.

Lt. Forrest P. Ewens had shipped out for Afghanistan in March of that same year. His wife, being the same rank in the Army, understood the risks, telling a colonel at Fort Drum, N.Y., that if anything happened to her husband, she didn't want to hear about it from a stranger.

On June 6, 2006 Lt. Ewens and Sgt. Ian T. Sanchez were killed when ATV struck an IED while on combat operation in Pech River Valley, Afghanistan.

A few weeks before his death, Lt. Ewens called his wife from an Afghan mountain to inform her that his unit had been subsisting on melted snow and rations and that he had been writing his impressions down in a notebook he carried.

"This was the love of her life," Megan Ewens's mother said. "They were so well-matched and made such a good team. We couldn't ask for a better son-in-law."

These brave men and women sacrifice so much in their lives so that others may enjoy the freedoms we get to enjoy everyday. For that, I am proud to call them Hero.
We Should Not Only Mourn These Men And Women Who Died, We Should Also Thank God That Such People Lived

This post is part of the Wednesday Hero Blogroll. For more information about Wednesday Hero, or if you would like to post it on your blog, you can go here.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Braggin' on Myself

I decided to join this football challenge sponsored by a local radio station. You pick winners for 3 college games and 2 pro games, plus you answer 5 questions about the games (how many yards will so-and-so get, etc.)

After 3 weeks, I'm tied for 3rd (for the season). Last week, I tied for 6th for the week. (The host, who was an All-American kicker for UT, is tied for 357 for the season, 92nd for last week.) Yes, I've sought wise counsel before placing my picks each weeks. I'm not stupid.

Not bad for a chick, eh?

Monday, September 17, 2007

News... Not News... News... Not News...

As I was reading through the "news" this morning, I was ... whatever the opposite of surprised is... to see just how much of the news really wasn't. You'll see.

Not news:
"News" from Gomorrah:

Saturday, September 15, 2007

Well, Yeah...


Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Round and Round

I read the news sites... so you don't have to.

The Weird, the Odd, and the Celeb:

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Patriot Day

Patriot Day, 2007
A Proclamation by the President of the United States of America

September 11, 2001, was a defining moment in American history. On that terrible day, our Nation saw the face of evil as 19 men barbarously attacked us and wantonly murdered people of many races, nationalities, and creeds. On Patriot Day, we remember the innocent victims, and we pay tribute to the valiant firefighters, police officers, emergency personnel, and ordinary citizens who risked their lives so others might live.

After the attacks on 9/11, America resolved that we would go on the offense against our enemies, and we would not distinguish between the terrorists and those who harbor and support them. All Americans honor the selfless men and women of our Armed Forces, the dedicated members of our public safety, law enforcement, and intelligence communities, and the thousands of others who work hard each day to protect our country, secure our liberty, and prevent future attacks.

The spirit of our people is the source of America's strength, and 6 years ago, Americans came to the aid of neighbors in need. On Patriot Day, we pray for those who died and for their families. We volunteer to help others and demonstrate the continuing compassion of our citizens. On this solemn occasion, we rededicate ourselves to laying the foundation of peace with confidence in our mission and our free way of life.

By a joint resolution approved December 18, 2001 (Public Law 107-89), the Congress has designated September 11 of each year as "Patriot Day."

NOW, THEREFORE, I, GEORGE W. BUSH, President of the United States of America, do hereby proclaim September 11, 2007, as Patriot Day. I call upon the Governors of the United States and the Commonwealth of Puerto Rico, as well as appropriate officials of all units of government, to direct that the flag be flown at half-staff on Patriot Day. I also call upon the people of the United States to observe Patriot Day with appropriate ceremonies, activities, and remembrance services, to display the flag at half-staff from their homes on that day, and to observe a moment of silence beginning at 8:46 a.m. eastern daylight time to honor the innocent Americans and people from around the world who lost their lives as a result of the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001.

IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have hereunto set my hand this fourth day of September, in the year of our Lord two thousand seven, and of the Independence of the United States of America the two hundred and thirty-second.


Monday, September 10, 2007

Ticker Time

Not much in the news today... unless you want to listen to the talking heads preening.

Oddities and Celebrities:

Strange Business Facts

Strange Business Facts

A meeting is an event at which the minutes are kept and hours are lost.

If you tell your boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

When you try to prove to someone that something won't work, it will.

As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Anything is possible if you don't know what you're talking about.

Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.

Technology is dominated by those who manage what they do not understand.

The opulence of the front office decor varies inversely with the fundamental solvency of the firm.

The attention span of a computer is only as long as its power cord.

An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less until he knows absolutely everything about nothing.

Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget.

The first myth of management is that it exists.

A failure will not appear until a unit has passed final inspection.

To err is human, to blame somebody else shows good management skills. (thanks to Jordan)

New systems generate new problems.

A computer makes as many mistakes in two seconds as 20 men working 20 years make.

Nothing motivates a man more than to see his boss putting in an honest day's work.

Some people manage by the book - even though they don't know who wrote the book or even what book.

The primary function of the design engineer is to make things difficult for the manufacturer and impossible for the serviceman.

To spot the expert, pick the one who predicts the job will take the longest and will cost the most.

After all is said and done, more is said than done.

Any design must contain at least one part which is obsolete, two parts which are unobtainable and three parts which are still under development.

A complex system that works is invariably found to have evolved from a simple system that works.

If mathematically you end up with the incorrect answer, try multiplying by the page number.

Any system which depends on human reliability is unreliable.

If you can't understand it, it is intuitively obvious.

The more cordial the buyer's secretary, the greater the odds that the competition already has the order.

If it's not in the computer, it doesn't exist.

If an experiment works, something has gone wrong.

When all else fails, read the instructions.

If there is a possibility of several things going wrong the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.

Any simple theory will be worded in the most complicated way.

Build a system that even a fool can use and only a fool will want to use it.

The degree of technical competence is inversely proportional to the level of management.

A difficult task will be halted near completion by one tiny, previously insignificant detail.

There is never time to do it right, but always time to do it over.

The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline approaches.

If there is ever the possibility of several things to go wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.

If something breaks, and it stops you from doing something, it will be fixed when you no longer need it; are in the middle of something else; or don't want it to be fixed because now you don't want to do what you were supposed to do.

The more urgent the need for a decision to be made, less apparent becomes the identity of the decision maker.

It is never wise to let any piece of electronic equipment know that you are in a hurry.

Don't fix something that ain't broke, 'cause you'll break it and you still can't fix it.

If you are not thoroughly confused, you have not been thoroughly informed.

Standard parts are not.

Interchangeable tapes aren't.

Never trust modern technology. Trust it only when it is old technology.

For any given software, as soon as you master it, a new version of that software appears.

The new version always manages to change the one feature you need most.

In today's technical environment, it is a requirement that we forget more than we learn.

It is simple to make something complex, and complex to make something simple.

Measurements will be quoted in the least practical unit; velocity, for example, will be measured in 'furlongs-per-fortnight'.

An expert will always state the obvious.

The chance a copy machine will break down is proportional to the importance of the material that needs to be copied and inversely proportional to the amount of time till the material will be needed.

A maintenance department will neglect a customer's complaints until it starts installations on the customer's new projects.

If it works in theory, it won't work in practice. If it works in practice, it won't work in theory.

No matter how clever and complete your research is, there is always someone who knows more.

The less intelligent the idea, and the person stating it, the more likely it will be funded.

A man with one watch is certain about time. A man with two watches isn't.

The more knowledge you gain, the less certain you are of it.

Technicians are the only ones that don't trust technology.

The more you want to contact someone over an instant messenger is inversely proportional to the chances that they will be online.

The more important your email is, the worse your email program will screw it up.

The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Friday, September 07, 2007

Anyone Want to Buy Me a Present?

I really want to get one of these:

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

"Why?" I hear you asking. After all, I'm not much of a Sea-turkeys fan. Well, yeah... but I am a Matt and Mack fan, now.
The Seahawks quarterback and fullback gave the 43rd president a No. 43 jersey with his name on it at a $1,000-a-plate fundraiser for Rep. Dave Reichert at the Hyatt...

... So objections were raised, and Hasselbeck heard them and read them. He got nasty voice mails, e-mails and text messages.
Wow... that's mature. Like I said, I'll pay a little more attention to Matt and Mack this season. Almost makes me wish I had a fantasy team.

(And, to be fair, I did say stuff about the Dixie Chicks because they said things against the US while in another country. They can talk trash all they want about the US- just keep it in the borders. And I have mocked celebrities not for their support of a particular candidate, but because of illogical stands on certain topics. You might call it nit-picking, but I see a difference. Hypocritical? I don't think so, but feel free to disagree. Politely, of course.)

Quick Roundup

News today is a tad sparse, but here's what I've come up with so far:


Excuses, Excuses

Some more funnies from Strange Cosmos. I wish I could shorten these, but there's no way to do that on Blogspot (that I know of, anyway).
Strange School Excuses from Parents These are actual excuse notes from parents (with the original spelling) collected from schools all around the United States.

My son is under a doctor's care and shouldn't take PE today. Please execute him.

Amy did not do her homework last night because we went out to a party and did not get home until late. If she is tired, please let her sleep during recess time.

Diane was late on Wednesday. She fell asleep on the bus and was taken back to the bus yard.

Please excuse my son from being absent yesterday, because there is a river in our house.

Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrheea and his boots leak.

Henry stayed home because he had a stomach ache from eating too much frosting.

Ralph was absent yesterday because of a sour throat.

Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick, so I had her shot.

Please exscuse John from being absent Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and also 33.

Cody was absent yesterday because we were out bowling until 2 AM.

Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.

Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.

It was my fault Mike did not do his math homework last night. His pencil broke and we do not have a pencil sharpener at home.

Please excuse Roland from PE for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

Please excuse Wayne for being out yesterday. He had the fuel.

John has been absent from school because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

Tommy wasn't in school yesterday because he thought it was Saturday.

Please excuse Lupe. She is having problems with her ovals.

Scott didn't practice last night because he lost his tooth in the mouthpiece of his trumpet.

Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.

Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.

Ralph was absent yesterday because he had a sore trout.

Jerry was at his grandmother's yesterday, and she did not bring him to school because Jerry couldn't remember where the school was.

Chris will not be in school today cus he has an acre in his side.

Please excuse my daughter's absence. She had her periodicals.

Please excuse my son. He will be out next week slaughtering goats for his manhood ritual. Thank you!

Please excuse Ray from school Friday. He had very loose vowels.

Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.

George was absent yesterday because he had a stomach.

Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.

Please excuse Jimmy from being. It was his father's fault.

Ronnie would not finish his work last night. He said his brain was too tired of spelling.

I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she wears.

Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.

Sally won't be in school a week from friday. We have to attend her funeral.

My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.

Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.

Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.

Eric hurt his knee in a karate tournament over the weekend. He won his age group, but was in too much pain to do his math assignment.

Maryann was absent December 11-16 because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.

The basement of our house got flooded where the children sleep so they had to be vaporized.

Please forgive Clarence for being absent from school the past few days. He was home sick from an operation. He had penis trouble and had to be serpent-sized.

Please excuse little Jimmy from missing school yesterday. His father is gone and I could not get him ready because I was in bed with the Doctor.

Why Were You Fired?

Yeah, I got these from Strange Cosmos. Why do you ask?
Why were you fired from your last job?

I used to work in a dairy. I got fired for getting in the whey.

I lost my job at the massage parlor. I rubbed people the wrong way.

I wanted to get a job as a gynecologist, but I couldn't find an opening.

I was working in an orange juice factory, but I couldn't concentrate.

I tried to be a chef. I imagined it would add a little spice to my life. But I didn't have the thyme.

I once was a tailor, but I wasn't suited for it. It was a so-so job.

I worked at Starbucks, but it was the same old grind.

I tried working in a muffler factory, but that was too exhausting.

I tried to work at a deli, but no matter how I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.

I worked for a plumber, but that work was too draining.

I even worked as a lumberjack, but I couldn't hack it. So they gave me the ax.

I tried to work in a shoe factory, but I couldn't fit in.

I became a fisherman, but couldn't live on my net income.

I was a musician, but I found I wasn't noteworthy.

I then got a job at a workout club, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.

I got a job as a historian, but there was no future in that!

I wanted to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patience.

Fly The Flag

There's an e-mail going around, and, since I'm not one for forwarding chain e-mail, I'll post it on here. (I edited out the "send this to everyone you know!" part, but I do think you should tell everyone you know.)
On Tuesday, September 11th, 2007, an American flag should be displayed outside every home, apartment, office, and store in the United States. Every individual should make it their duty to display an American flag on this anniversary of our country's worst tragedy. We do this in honor of those who lost their lives on 9/11, their families, friends and loved ones who continue to endure the pain, and those who today are fighting at home and abroad to preserve our cherished freedoms.

In the days, weeks and months following 9/11, our country was bathed in American flags as citizens mourned the incredible losses and stood shoulder-to-shoulder against terrorism. Sadly, those flags have all but disappeared. Our patriotism pulled us through some tough times and it shouldn't take another attack to galvanize us in solidarity. Our American flag is the fabric of our country and together we can prevail over terrorism of all kinds.

Fly an American flag of any size on 9/11. Honestly, Americans should fly the flag year-round, but if you don't, then at least make it a priority on this day.
Sounds like a plan to me.

Thursday, September 06, 2007

Totally Random Post Alert

So... I found this article (language alert) about the most useless Transformers. After laughing a bit, I watched the video clip, and that is when I knew that Transformers are truly evil.

Anyone want to guess why I feel that way?

Here's the video if you don't want to go to the article. Yes, it's in Japanese. There are subtitles.

Evil. Evil, I tell you.

Fred! is In

Let the fun begin!!

Ok, everyone, get out your notebooks and your clicky pencils, and let's start taking notes. Your assignment- a spreadsheet, listing the positions of all Republican candidates. (Extra credit- a spreadsheet, listing the positions of all the Democrats in the race.) Assignments are due prior to the next debate.

Here's the video that Fred! used to announce his candidacy. Yes, he was on Jay Leno last night- I haven't decided how I feel about that.

Click to play

RIP Il Maestro

Luciano Pavarotti passed away this morning after a long battle with pancreatic cancer.

Here is Nessun Dorma from Turandot, Pavarotti's "signature" piece:

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Wednesday's Hero

Sgt. Willard T. Partridge
Sgt. Willard T. Partridge
35 years old from Ferriday, Louisiana
170th Military Police Company, 504th Military Police Battalion, 42nd Military Police Brigade
August 20, 2005

Sgt. Partridge was killed by an IED that exploded near his vehicle in Baghdad, Iraq.

There isn't that much information about Sgt. Partridge so I though I would share some of the memories that his friends and family have of him.

"I remember Partridge from basic training and AIT. He was a very quiet guy who had a good sense of humor. I remember asking him why he joined, and he told me it was so he could take care of his family and give them a better life. I would have deployed with him any day, he was one of the good guys I graduated with. He will not be forgotten. God Bless."

"Todd was one of the best men I have ever met and I will always have great memories and admiration for him! My thoughts and prayers go out to his family!"

"I will never forget you and those awful eighteen weeks at Fort Leonard Wood. You are in every sense of the term, 'A HERO'"

"Todd was such a quite, solid person. He never demanded the attention of those around him. I remember him always just smiling while everyone else at our LARGE FAMILY get togethers made noise. I could get a hug from him, but I had to ask for it. He never assumed anything. I loved making him hug me.

Todd was a solid, faithful husband, father and man in every respect. He did what had to be done in all areas of his life. He died doing what he knew to be his job in this life. Not that he wanted to die but he wanted to serve whatever the cost might be. He knew that freedom is not free and wanted to pay his part for that freedom for himself, his wife and girls.

I have nothing but love and respect for Todd's memory and will always proudly and thankfully count him among my nephews that adore. His memory will always be honored. I thank God that He brought Todd into our family. He left his mark on it just as he did everywhere he went."

These brave men and women sacrifice so much in their lives so that others may enjoy the freedoms we get to enjoy everyday. For that, I am proud to call them Hero.
We Should Not Only Mourn These Men And Women Who Died, We Should Also Thank God That Such People Lived

This post is part of the Wednesday Hero Blogroll. To find out more about Wednesday Hero, you can go here.

News You Can Use...

... for a good laugh (or something). Yeah... it's a long list... there are 3 days' worth of links.


Monday, September 03, 2007

Happy Birthday!

Today is T1 and T2's birthday! They're 14 years old now (well, at 6:34 and 6:35 PM Central, that is).

Dang... if they're 14, that makes me... not as young as I used to be...

Happy Birthday, guys!

(The post time on this is late at night so that it will be on top all day. No, I didn't forget. Geeez.)

Thoughts on Labor Day

For some reason, our nation celebrates the labor movement. I'm sure they originally sold the idea by saying that we were just going to celebrate the Everyday Joe Worker, but that's not the case. We're celebrating the labor (read socialist) movement. (Let me put it to you this way... almost every other country on the planet celebrates "Labor Day" on May 1st, and it's a big socialist shin-dig. Just because we do it on a different day, why should our "Labor Day" be any different?) "Fortunately" for the US, 99.9% of US citizens have no idea why we get off on federal holidays anyway, so why should today be any different?

Here is what Neal Boortz had to say about it today. He summed it up better than I could.
1. If the Democrats have control of the congress and he White House after the next election, the labor unions will soon be able to unionize a workplace without any election involving private ballots. Union organizers will be able to use traditional union intimidation tactics to compel workers to sign petitions, and as soon as a majority of the workers have signed on ... it's union time!

2. Labor unions, particularly the AFL-CIO, are on the vanguard of the amnesty movement. You will see lawsuits brought by labor unions whenever and wherever the government starts to get tough on businesses hiring illegal criminal aliens. The reason is simple. These labor unions see these millions of illegal Mexicans as their path to new glory and power, just ripe to be made new union members as soon as they are legitimized.

3. Last, but certainly not least, there is no one entity in this country that is doing more to destroy the future of our nation than the most powerful unions in Washington, the teacher's unions.

Sunday, September 02, 2007

David and Goliath, the Grid Iron Version

"Always remember..... Goliath was a 40 point favorite over David." Shug Jordan / Auburn
College football opened this weekend with all its crazy twists and turns. The ranked teams in Thursday night's games insured there were no surprises, outscoring their opponents (from the local junior highs) 212-20. Most of the games on Saturday was equally uneventful. Looks like almost everyone who was supposed to win did just that, even if not by the numbers the experts had predicted.

And then there was that little game in the Big House. There's not much else to say about that game except "dayum." No, really. That's about it.

In honor of the Mountaineers, I present some of the best college football quotes (care of Strange Cosmos, as always).
"At Georgia Southern, we don't cheat. That costs money and we don't have any." Erk Russell / Georgia Southern.

"Football is only a game. Spiritual things are eternal. Nevertheless, Beat Texas." Seen on a church sign in Arkansas prior to the 1969 game.

"After you retire, there's only one big event left....and I ain't ready for that." Bobby Bowden / Florida State

"The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely to be the one who dropped it." Lou Holtz / Arkansas

"When you win, nothing hurts." Joe Namath / Alabama

"Motivation is simple. You eliminate those who are not motivated." Lou Holtz / Arkansas

"If you want to walk the heavenly streets of gold, you gotta know the password, "Roll, tide, roll!" Bear Bryant / Alabama

"A school without football is in danger of deteriorating into a medieval study hall." Frank Leahy / Notre Dame

"There's nothing that cleanses your soul like getting the hell kicked out of you." Woody Hayes / Ohio State

"I don't expect to win enough games to be put on NCAA probation. I just want to win enough to warrant an investigation." Bob Devaney / Nebraska

"In Alabama, an atheist is someone who doesn't believe in Bear Bryant." Wally Butts / Georgia

"You can learn more character on the two-yard line than anywhere else in life." Paul Dietzel / LSU

"It's kind of hard to rally around a math class." Bear Bryant /Alabama

"No, but you can see it from here." Lou Holtz / Arkansas...When asked if Fayetteville was the end of the world.

"I make my practices real hard because if a player is a quitter, I want him to quit in practice, not in a game." Bear Bryant /Alabama

"There's one sure way to stop us from scoring-give us the ball near the goal line." Matty Bell / SMU

"Lads,you're not to miss practice unless your parents died or you died." Frank Leahy / Notre Dame

"I never graduated from Iowa, but I was only there for two terms - Truman's and Eisenhower's." Alex Karras / Iowa

"My advice to defensive players:Take the shortest route to the ball and arrive in a bad humor." Bowden Wyatt / Tennessee

"I could have been a Rhodes Scholar, except for my grades." Duffy Daugherty / Michigan State

"Always remember..... Goliath was a 40 point favorite over David." Shug Jordan / Auburn

"They cut us up like boarding house pie. And that's real small pieces." Darrell Royal / Texas

"Show me a good and gracious loser, and I'll show you a failure." Knute Rockne / Notre Dame

"They whipped us like a tied up goat." Spike ##### / Texas Tech (his name was edited by SC, not me)

"I asked Darrell Royal, the coach of the Texas Longhorns, why he didn't recruit me and he said: "Well,Walt, we took a look at you and you weren't any good." Walt Garrison / Oklahoma State

"Son, you've got a good engine, but your hands aren't on the steering wheel." Bobby Bowden / Florida State

"Football is not a contact sport-it is a collision sport. Dancing is a contact sport." Duffy Daugherty / Michigan State

After USC lost 51-0 to Notre Dame, his postgame message to his team: "All those who need showers, take them." John McKay / USC

"If lessons are learned in defeat, our team is getting a great education." Murray Warmath / Minnesota

"The only qualifications for a lineman are to be big and dumb. To be a back, you only have to be dumb." Knute Rockne / Notre Dame

"Oh,we played about like three tons of buzzard puke this afternoon." Spike ##### / Texas Tech

"It isn't necessary to see a good tackle. You can hear it." Knute Rockne / Notre Dame

"We live one day at a time and scratch where it itches." Darrell Royal / Texas

"We didn't tackle well today but we made up for it by not blocking." John McKay / USC

"Three things can happen when you throw the ball, and two of them are bad." Darrell Royal / University of Texas

"I've found that prayers work best when you have big players." Knute Rockne / Notre Dame

"Gentlemen, it is better to have died a small boy than to fumble this football" John Heisman

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