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Friday, August 31, 2007

News, News, News

Here are today's headlines:


Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Wednesday's Heroes

This Weeks Post Was Suggested By Randy Thorsvig

Ken Leonard
Ken Leonard (On The Right)
From High Point, North Carolina

Every once in a while you run across one of those "feel good stories". Those stories that show us just what a person can do when they really want it bad enough. And Ken Leonard has one of those stories.

In 2005, Ken Leonard left his job as a police officer in High Point, North Carolina to go to Iraq to work with a private security firm. In December of that year, Ken, along with five other men in his vehicle and six others in the vehicle behind him, was hit by a roadside bomb outside of Baghdad. "After the bomb went off, I knew exactly what had happened," Leonard recalled. "My feet got jarred, so I knew they were hit." While others in his vehicle were injured, he had received the worst of it. He had lost both his feet.

The vehicle behind them pushed Leonard's to a safer area. But flames were coming out of the air conditioning vents and they had to get out. Leonard crawled from the car and fell to the pavement. "That’s when I saw my feet," he said. "I could tell they were gone. They were still attached, but they were shredded."

On July 19, 2007, Ken Leonard went back to North Carolina to get his job back with the police force. To do that he needed to pass the Police Officers Physical Abilities Test, which, among other things, consisted of a 200-yard run to be finished in under 7 minutes, 20 seconds. And he did just that with 24 seconds to spare.

"Somebody told me one time they said, 'You know, what you've lost is just bone and muscle. You've still got heart, and you've still got, you know, what's up here,'" Leonard said, pointing to his head.

These brave men and women sacrifice so much in their lives so that others may enjoy the freedoms we get to enjoy everyday. For that, I am proud to call them Hero.
We Should Not Only Mourn These Men And Women Who Died, We Should Also Thank God That Such People Lived

This post is part of the Wednesday Hero Blogroll. To find out more about Wednesday Hero, you can go here.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

The Blonde Moment That Just Won't Die

Y'all heard about Lauren Caitlin Upton, the Miss Teen USA contestant from South Carolina who had a bout of mental regurgitation during the Q&A portion of the pageant, right? Well, her 15 minutes of infamy isn't quite over yet.

In case you missed it, she was asked "Recent polls have shown a fifth of Americans can't locate the United States on a world map. Why do you think this is?"

Here's her answer... uh... what she said.
I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because uh some people out there in our nation don't have maps and uh I believe that our education like such as in South Africa and the Iraq everywhere like such as and I believe that they should our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S. or should help South Africa and should help the Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future for. (If you want to watch the train wreck, here it is. If you want a... up... map to figure it out, try this. )
In her defense, everyone gets nervous from time to time, and every once in a while we simply draw a blank. It happens. And it didn't help that she wasn't expecting that question. And, in all honesty, I would have had to pause and seriously consider my answer, because I'm pretty sure that "20% of Americans can't find the United States on a map because our education system is broken beyond repair" probably wouldn't have gone over all that well.

But lets see what's happening with Miss Teen South Carolina since her "Third Runner Up" finish in the pageant.

I'm not really making fun of her. Really. Everyone has moments like this. But it's like watching a car wreck- you don't want to watch, but... you can't help yourself.

UPDATE: (4:30pm) Dang, now I really am starting to feel sorry for her. The press isn't letting this die. Poor thing. (Granted, her 2nd chance at answering the question wasn't all that great, but it was a whole lot better than her first try. In a nutshell, she came up with "everyone I know can find it on a map, and if 20% of Americans can't find it, maybe we need to work on better geography education" or something like that. )

Monday, August 27, 2007

Gotta Love It

One great thing about living in Texas is that, most times, we just don't care about your opinion of our state.

Case in point. The EU took it upon themselves to beg Governor Perry to immediately stop executing those whom society has deemed executable.
The European Union on Tuesday urged the governor of Texas to halt executions in the United States' busiest death penalty state.

In an unusual direct appeal, the EU said Governor Rick Perry should introduce a moratorium on the death penalty and stop the impending 400th execution since Texas resumed capital punishment in 1982.
Now, Rick Perry is nothing if not a Southern Gentleman. He won't just come out and say "stuff it," no matter how much he really wants to. But he did come pretty close.
Statement by Robert Black, spokesman for Texas Governor Rick Perry, concerning the European Union’s appeal that Texas enact a moratorium on the death penalty:

“230 years ago, our forefathers fought a war to throw off the yoke of a European monarch and gain the freedom of self-determination. Texans long ago decided that the death penalty is a just and appropriate punishment for the most horrible crimes committed against our citizens. While we respect our friends in Europe, welcome their investment in our state and appreciate their interest in our laws, Texans are doing just fine governing Texas.”
That was the entirely of the press release. And that was quite enough.

In the News

I'm up way too early this morning, so I thought I'd do a news round-up before we start school. Here we go:

Sports (The Perp Walk Edition- you mean these guys actually play sports????):
Other Stuff:

Happy Birthday!

Today's my mom's birthday. Woohoo!

Uh... Mom... I still don't know what you want for your birthday...

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Conversions for You

Here's another funny for you from Strange Cosmos:
For all who have difficulty converting units:

Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi

2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton

1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope

Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond

Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram

Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour = Knotfurlong

16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Serling

Half of a large intestine = 1 semicolon

1,000,000 aches = 1 megahurtz

Basic unit of laryngitis = 1 hoarsepower

Shortest distance between two jokes = A straight line

453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake

1 million- microphones = 1 megaphone

2 million bicycles = 2 megacycles

365.25 days = 1 unicycle

2000 mockingbirds = 2 kilomockingbirds

52 cards = 1 decacards

1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 Fig Newton

1000 milliliters of wet socks = 1 literhosen

1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche

1 trillion pins = 1 terrapin

10 rations = 1 decoration

100 rations = 1 C-ration

2 monograms = 1 diagram

4 nickels = 2 paradigms

2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital = 1 IV League

AND.......100 Senators = Not 1 decision

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Fan for a Day?

So... I'm not a big Opus fan. I mean, I'd love to be- Opus is a cute little guy and all that, but his creator's (Berkeley Breathed) politics is right up with Gary Trudeau. But I might have to like Opus and his human friend, Steve, for two days- Aug. 26th and Sept. 2.

You see... many newspapers are refusing to publish Opus on those dates because... wait for it... they might offend Muslims. Wow... last week he was making Jerry Falwell jokes, and Christians didn't blow up any offices or chop anyone's head off. What makes them think...

Oh... never mind.

Friday, August 24, 2007

Micro Rants

Here are a few rants... 'cause they're on my mind, but I'm not feeling the need to expound on them.
That's it for now... I'm sure something else will annoy me soon enough.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Honoring Heroes

honor: on-er tr.v. hon·ored, hon·or·ing, hon·ors
1. To hold in respect; esteem.
2. To show respect for.

hero* : he·ro –noun, plural -roes; for 5 also -ros.
1. a man of distinguished courage or ability, admired for his brave deeds and noble qualities.
2. a person who, in the opinion of others, has heroic qualities or has performed a heroic act and is regarded as a model or ideal: He was a local hero when he saved the drowning child.
How do we honor heroes? How do we recognize those who go above and beyond for those around them? How do we preserve their stories for posterity's sake?

Let me throw out some ideas. Parades? A couple of times a year, and quite often those in attendance don't even remember (if they ever actually knew) what the parades are honoring. Statues, memorial plaques, memorial services? Sure... for some. Awards (medals, commendations, etc.)? Once again, for some. A simple "thank you"? Not often enough.

Well, here's one more suggestion, one that I hope really catches on. (And, no, I can't take credit for it- Mark's family told me about their efforts to get this done in Mark's hometown.) What about naming streets after heroes? Not necessarily renaming already existing streets (although, given the names of some streets, I'd be okay with that), but naming new streets (in new neighborhoods, etc) after the heroes from that particular town.

But, then I guess we have to ask "who is a hero?" For the sake of this discussion, I'd be pretty picky. Military personnel who have paid the ultimate price defending our country... Congressional Medal of Honor winners... members of law enforcement and the fire fighting community who died in the line of duty... you get the idea.

How do you do it? It's not all that difficult, but it's not that easy, either. Find out who the real heroes are in your town. Talk to the mayor and let him know what you're thinking about. Talk to developers in your area who are putting in new neighborhoods (they're always looking for ideas for road names). If you're feeling ambitious, talk to the governor's office and see if there are any new state roads going in that need naming.

Seriously, it can't be all that difficult. I mean, how many Congress Critters have highways named after them simply because they pushed through funding for it (Senator Byrd, I'm looking at you). I'm sure that we can come up with a long list of people much more worthy of an honor of this magnitude.

Think about it. Say a street in a new neighborhood is named after (insert hero here). Houses are built on that street, and suddenly you have a bunch of people using that person's name every day (it is their address, after all). Fifteen or twenty years from now, someone on that street gets curious about who (insert hero here) was. They do a little research, and that hero's story is told again. And again. And their heroism just might inspire someone to be a hero themselves.

It's just a thought... anybody want to see what might happen if we actually try it?

* Many writers today consider "hero" to be gender neutral, and that's how I'm using it in my post. Technically, however, if you're talking about a female who has heroic qualities, she is a "heroine", not a "hero."

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Wednesday's Hero

This Weeks Post Was Suggested By Kasee

SSgt. John Self
Click Image For Full Size

SSgt. John T. Self
29 years old from Pontotoc, Mississippi
314th Security Forces Squadron
May 14, 2007

A kindhearted patriot. That's how SSgt. John Self was described by those who knew him. "John was a good boy, a good boy who loved his country and who loved Christ and for that he’ll move on to a better place," said Laron Self, Sgt. Self's grandfather, fighting back tears.

SSgt. Self was killed, and three other airmen wounded, when an IED hit the Humvee they were traveling in while on his 79th patrol in Baghdad, Iraq. "John volunteered for this deployment while he was deployed to (Southwest Asia)," said Chief Master Sgt. Keith Morris, 314th SFS security forces manager. "We discussed this deployment via e-mail. He said he made his decision to deploy again to gain experience."

"He could always find the humor in anything regardless of the situation," said Senior Airman Daniel Hunsperger, a member of Self's fire team. "He believed in everything he did. This was obvious to us after learning he had only spent two weeks home between his last deployment and volunteering for this one."

On May 23, SSgt. Self was laid to rest with a crowd of hundreds to pay their respects. People lined both sides of the highway for more than 5 miles waving flags as the hundred-car procession traveled to the burial. Shouts of, "We love you John," and "Thank you, John, could be heard as the train of cars passed by. "That’s a hero," Susan Chambers, one of the many mourners, said to her son as she pointed at Self's casket.

These brave men and women sacrifice so much in their lives so that others may enjoy the freedoms we get to enjoy everyday. For that, I am proud to call them Hero.
We Should Not Only Mourn These Men And Women Who Died, We Should Also Thank God That Such People Lived

This post is part of the Wednesday Hero Blogroll. To find out more about Wednesday Hero, you can go here.

Monday, August 20, 2007

The Ticker

Here's a look at the news (abbreviated thanks to all of my bookmarks being on my laptop... which is in the shop):


Gender Differences

You know, most of the time, I like being a girl. While not exactly a girly girl (and having lost my "chick card" some time ago due to my lack of Barbie mojo, issues with a VW Bug starter, and that incident involving Monday Night Football Tickets), I do still have the basics down.

But being a girl isn't all shopping trips and proper accessorization. There is a down side. Most of the "cons" I can cope with or compensate for. That doesn't mean I have to like them.

Case in point. Bugs. I'm fine with them in the great out of doors. I'm not so fine with them in my territory. They get their world- I get mine.

Which makes me squealing like a little girl last night when T1 pointed out the ginormous bug (at least 2 inches long) on the wall last night perfectly understandable and bordering on acceptable. Fortunately for me, T1 is a guy, and I took this crisis as a teaching opportunity for him. I explained that he's a guy, and it was about time that he embraced the time honored tradition of guys being responsible for dispatching bugs to the two-dimensional realm. Although he didn't quite buy the whole "it's a guy job- get used to it") mantra, he did, nevertheless, squish the monster in a fashion much more civilized than his mother would have contemplated.

He stepped on it. I would have gone after it with a shovel or a sledgehammer. But that's just me.

A Brief PSA

Just a friendly reminder that, if you see someone in a parking lot of a local store with his or her hood up, it is perfectly acceptable (and even preferable) to offer assistance.

And it stinks that I need to remind people of this.

Friday, August 17, 2007

Those Dam Beavers

I got this from a reader. I've seen it before, and it's just... too "dam" funny... (Sorry... I know it seems to violate my previous post, but... give me a break, ok?) What makes this great is that it's true.

This is an actual letter sent to a man named Ryan DeVries by the Michigan Department of Environmental Quality, State of Michigan. Also included below is his response.

SUBJECT: DEQ File No.97-59-0023;T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Montcalm County

Dear Mr. DeVries:

It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality that there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above referenced parcel of property. You have been certified as the legal landowner and/or contractor who did the following unauthorized activity:

Construction and maintenance of two wood debris dams across the outlet stream of Spring Pond. A permit must be issued prior to the start of this type of activity. A review of the Department's files shows that no permits have been issued. Therefore, the Department has determined that this activity is in violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled Laws, annotated.

The Department has been informed that one or both of the dams partially failed during a recent rain event, causing debris and flooding at downstream locations. We find that dams of this nature are inherently hazardous and cannot be permitted. The Department therefore orders you to cease and desist all activities at this location, and to restore the stream to a free-flow condition by removing all wood and brush forming the dams from the stream channel. All restoration work shall be completed no later than January 31, 2003.

Please notify this office when the restoration has been completed so that a follow-up site inspection may be scheduled by our staff. Failure to comply with this request or any further unauthorized activity on the site may result in this case being referred for elevated enforcement action.

We anticipate and would appreciate your full cooperation in this matter.

Please feel free to contact me at this office if you have any questions.


David L. Price District Representative

Land and Water Management Division

** This is the actual response sent back: **

Re: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N;R10W, Sec. 20; Montcalm County.

Dear Mr. Price,

Your certified letter dated 12/17/02 has been handed to me to respond to I am the legal landowner but not the Contractor at 2088 Dagget, Pierson, Michigan.

A couple of beavers are in the (State unauthorized) process of constructing and maintaining two wood "debris" dams across the outlet stream of my Spring Pond. While I did not pay for, authorize, nor supervise their dam project, I think they would be highly offended that you call their skillful use of natures building materials "debris." I would like to challenge your department to attempt to emulate their dam project any time and/or any place you choose. I believe I can safely state there is no way you could ever match their dam skills, their dam resourcefulness, their dam ingenuity, their dam persistence, their dam determination and/or their dam work ethic.

As to your request, I do not think the beavers are aware that they must first fill out a dam permit prior to the start of this type of dam activity. My first dam question to you is: (1) Are you trying to discriminate against my Spring Pond Beavers or (2) do you require all

beavers throughout this State to conform to said dam request?

If you are not discriminating against these particular beavers, through the Freedom of Information Act, I request completed copies of all those other applicable beaver dam permits that have been issued. Perhaps we will see if there really is a dam violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled Laws, annotated.

I have several concerns. My first concern is... aren't the beavers entitled to legal representation? The Spring Pond Beavers are financially destitute and are unable to pay for said representation, so the State will have to provide them with a dam lawyer. The Department's dam concern that either one or both of the dams failed during a recent rain event causing flooding is proof that this is a natural occurrence, which the Department is required to protect. In other words, we should leave the Spring Pond Beavers alone rather than harassing them and calling their dam names.

If you want the stream "restored" to a dam free-flow condition please contact the beavers, but if you are going to arrest them, they obviously did not pay any attention to your dam letter... they being unable to read English.

In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right to build their unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue, the grass is green and water flows downstream. They have more dam rights than I do to live and enjoy Spring Pond.

If the Department of Natural Resources and Environmental Protection lives up to its name, it should protect the natural resources (Beavers) and the environment (Beavers' Dams). So, as far as the beavers and I are concerned, this dam case can be referred for more elevated enforcement action right now. Why wait until 1/31/2003? The Spring Pond Beavers may be under the dam ice then and there will be no way for you or your dam staff to contact/harass them then.

In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention to a real environmental quality (health) problem in the area.. It is the bears!

Bears are actually defecating in our woods. I definitely believe you should be persecuting the defecating bears and leave the beavers alone..

If you are going to investigate the beaver dam, watch your step! (The bears are not careful where they dump!)

Being unable to comply with your dam request, and being unable to contact you on your dam answering machine, I am sending this response to your dam office.

Thank You,

Ryan DeVries & The Dam Beavers

Thursday, August 16, 2007

In Defense of Civility

po·lite /pəˈlaɪt/ –adjective, -lit·er, -lit·est.
1. showing good manners toward others, as in behavior, speech, etc.; courteous; civil: a polite reply.
2. refined or cultured: polite society.
3. of a refined or elegant kind: polite learning.
Recently, I heard something that surprised me. I guess it shouldn't have, but it really did.

A boy, I presume around seven or eight years old, yelled at his (again with the conjecture) stepsister, calling her the common term for a female canine. This was, evidently, in response to the girl hitting him or something (I didn't see what happened, exactly. I just know I heard him YELL the term of endearment, then start in with the biggest fake crying jag I've seen in a while.) The adult supervision, in this case, was, at the time, some 20 feet away. When she came over to the kids, she chastised the little girl, but, as far as I could tell, she didn't say a peep about the boy's colorful use of the English language.

I asked the boys if they had heard what the little boy said. They said that they hadn't, so I told them, and then said, "I'm afraid to think about what I would have done if I would have heard you say that... even now." T1 looked at me and said, "You're afraid? I'm afraid."

So, I've been stewing over this for a little while now. Talk it over with a friend. I like to believe that society is still redeemable, that there is still hope for us as a culture, as a people. I starting to believe that I'm just plain deluded.

I was raised to be polite. Yes, I heard some "cussing" when I was growing up from family members, but I can tell you that it was rare. (My grandfather, instead of the "d" word, used "bless" instead- as in "God bless it!") My friends' parents didn't cuss, either (at least, not around us). So, I grew up in the wonderful little cocoon, thinking that polite society frowned on coarse language.

Well, then I grew up and discovered that learned folks use coarse language, as do people of pretty high morals. And sometimes the only word that adequately expresses what needs to be said happens to be one of the seven banned words. (Personally, I think that some of those can stay on the "Never Use" list... and I'm guessing you can figure out which ones). But, for me, the rarer, the better. I'm not perfect- I slip from time to time. I'd love to argue that it's just the "s" word or the "d" word or the occasional "a", but that's no excuse. I can't say "you shouldn't cuss" and then try to justify my cussing. But I try. I do try.

And I try not to judge based on colorful use of language (some of my favorite blogger friends are well known for their... um... way with words). I can't help it, though... it happens sometimes. A generation or so ago, many people would have agreed with me. These days... not so much.

A case in point would be the little boy in my story. Where in the world did he learn that word and become comfortable enough with it to use it "properly"? Best guess would be in the home (which means I guess I'm glad that I didn't confront the female "adult" supervision like I really wanted to). People that this little guy looks up to must use language like that, leading him to believe that it's perfectly acceptable to behave like that.

It's funny. There's a song out there right now that talks about kids learning from their parents. And then there was the classic, and even though it talked about other behaviors, he was still saddened that his boy was just like him. But, in either case, for people to learn a lesson from the lyrics, they have to actually care and determine there needs to be a change.

And no, unfortunately, it's not just this little boy and his family. Common courtesy is downright uncommon these days. We live in a selfish culture, and that's a sad state of affairs for all of us. We've lost the most basic elements of polite behavior (opening doors for others, not using language that might make someone blush, using "sir" and "ma'am" when addressing our elders, even so much as a simple smile for the stranger on the street). And it can only get worse.

So, I'm deluded. I think that our society should be a polite society. I guess if that's not possible, then I just have to do the best I can. (And that means not saying something that would make my grandmother blush, on this blog or, hopefully, in my daily contacts with people.) I can't hold most others to my rules, and I won't even try (with the exceptions of commenters on this blog and my kids).

It's just my rule for me... and I'm sticking to it.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Back In Busines

So... apartment is mostly unpacked. Steroid injection into the L4-5 and L5-S1 finished and recovered from. Cable and internet finally installed. Homeschool books unpacked. Looks like I'm back in business.

I'm working on a rant right now. I'm trying to tone it down to just a healthy dose of righteous indignation. Not even close yet.

Wednesday's Hero

This Week's Soldier Was Suggested By Kat

Sgt. Michael J. Stokely
Sgt. Michael J. Stokely
23 years old from Sharpsburg, Georgia
1st Battalion, 108th Armor Regiment, 48th Brigade Combat Team
August 16, 2005

Next Saturday, August 25, the town of Peachtree City, Ga. will be holding it's inaugural Ride To Remember for Sgt. Michael Stokely who lost his life two years ago tomorrow in Baghdad, Iraq when an IED detonated near his position. The patrol he was with had stopped and the NCO in charge had everyone take a rest while he walked back down the road with a Corporal to check out something suspicious. Sgt. Stokely refused to to rest, and instead took up a flanking position at the rear of his truck to watch their backs. Which, as a Cav Scout dismount, he saw as his job. The NCO and Corporal heard cracking noises and made their way to the sound when they were hit by an explosion. The NCO was seriously wounded but the Corporal made it through without a scratch. Sgt. Stokely, however, wasn't so lucky.

You can read more about Sgt. Michael Stokely here and here.

These brave men and women sacrifice so much in their lives so that others may enjoy the freedoms we get to enjoy everyday. For that, I am proud to call them Hero.
We Should Not Only Mourn These Men And Women Who Died, We Should Also Thank God That Such People Lived

This post is part of the Wednesday Hero Blogroll. To find out more about Wednesday Hero, you can go here.

Monday, August 06, 2007

Round We Go

Yeah... I need to post more... here's a start.


From Strange Cosmos This Morning

Found these at Strange Cosmos. Yes, I checked them at Snopes. No, neither of them are real. Yes, they still contain a grain of truth.

First, we have the reason why I fear taking the boys shopping. I can imagine this happening in the local Wally World.

After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her husband accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart.
Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men--he found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out.
Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women--she loved to browse.

One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her local Wal-Mart.

Dear Mrs. Fenton, Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store.
We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be forced to ban both of you from the store.

Our complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2 . July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, "Code 3 in House wares. Get on it right away."

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.

7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.

8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the " Mission Impossible" theme.

12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his "Madonna look" by using different sizes of funnels.

13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!"

And last, but not least.

15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!"

Regards, Wal-Mart
Next up, we have a lawyer with a sense of humor.
A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client who lost his house in Hurricane Katrina and wanted to rebuild.

He was told the loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to the parcel of property being offered as collateral. The title to the property dated back to 1803, which took the Lawyer three months to track down. After sending the information to the FHA, he received the following reply.

(Actual letter):
"Upon review of your letter adjoining your client's loan application, we note that the request is supported by an Abstract of Title. While we compliment the able manner in which you have prepared and presented the application, we must point out that you have only cleared title to the proposed collateral property back to 1803. Before final approval can be accorded, it will be necessary to clear the title back to its origin."

Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows:

(Actual Letter):
"Your letter regarding title in Case No. 189156 has been received. I note that you wish to have title extended further than the 194 years covered by the present application. I was unaware that any educated person in this country, particularly those working in the property area, would not know that Louisiana was purchased, by the U.S., from France in 1803, the year of origin identified in our application.

For the edification of uninformed FHA bureaucrats, the title to the land prior to U.S. ownership was obtained from France, which had acquired it by Right of Conquest from Spain. The land came into the possession of Spain by Right of Discovery made in the year 1492 by a sea captain named Christopher Columbus, who had been granted the privilege of seeking a new route to India by the Spanish monarch, Isabella.

The good queen, Isabella, being a pious woman and almost as careful about titles as the FHA, took the precaution of securing the blessing of the Pope before she sold her jewels to finance Columbus' expedition. Now the Pope, as I'm sure you may know, is the emissary of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, and God, it is commonly accepted, created this world.

Therefore, I believe it is safe to presume that God also made the world as we know it AND the FHA know it, and also that part of the world called Louisiana. God, therefore, would be the owner of origin and His origins date back to before the beginning of time. I hope you find God's original claim to be satisfactory. Now, may we have our damn loan?"

He got the loan.

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Wednesday's Hero

This Weeks Soldier Was Suggested By Cynthia

Master Sgt. Michael Wert
Master Sgt. Michael Wert (Left)
35 years old from Saginaw, Michigan
2nd Marine Aircraft Wing
May 5, 2007

Master Sgt. Michael Wert, an intelligence chief for the 2nd Marine Aircraft Wing at Cherry Point in Havelock, N.C., was vacationing on an early May weekend with his family at the beach when he saw two boys struggling in the surf.

His wife, Debbie, said her husband rushed into the water to help while she went to call 911. Their daughter, Katrina, grabbed a boogie board and followed Wert into the water. She managed to help the boys onto the board, but didn't see her dad with them. One of the boys told her that he (Wert) had to let them go and had died.

The rescue team found Wert, brought him to shore and tried to revive him. As they worked, strangers prayed with the family and comforted the Wert children.

Wert was six days shy of celebrating his 36th birthday.

Wert joined the Marines in 1989 after graduating from Alma High School, in Saginaw, MI, where he was a cross-country runner. He served in Operation Desert Storm and supported Operation Iraqi Freedom.

As the 2nd Marine Aircraft Wing intelligence chief, he gracefully accepted the role as the go-to guy for his Marines. He was the one who helped his major’s son build a pinewood derby car while the officer was deployed. He knew when babies were born in the command. He kept up with birthdays and anniversaries. He was the first to greet Marines getting off the plane after a tour in Iraq. "He was always there to help," Lt. Col. William Conley, commander of Marine Wing Headquarters Squadron 2 said at a memorial service for Wert. "Master Sergeant Wert responded to the need for help. As always, he didn’t hesitate — he went to help. He tragically lost his own life in doing so."

"I admired him for his commitment to service and the Marine Corps," said Col. Kathy Tate. "We know he was a hero every day."

These brave men and women sacrifice so much in their lives so that others may enjoy the freedoms we get to enjoy everyday. For that, I am proud to call them Hero.
We Should Not Only Mourn These Men And Women Who Died, We Should Also Thank God That Such People Lived

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