Yeah, Right, Whatever

Then again, so has FoxNews and pretty much every other media outlet around. The prime minister of Lebanon resigned, Syria has been accused of being behind a bombing, OBL is telling Zarqawi to ignore Iraq and attack the US, and Russia is selling fuel for nuclear reactors to Iran. And what does Drudge have as his leading story?

The Michael Jackson trial. And earlier today? The Oscars.

Drudge used to be great- he'd break the story, hours before anyone else. And now he's doing entertainment schtick.

I can't single out Drudge, though. FoxNews today has been jumping back and forth between real news and Jackson's trial. I guess it's not their fault that we've become such a thoughtless society that celebrity gossip passes as real news.

Please excuse me while I mourn the dropping of the Average American IQ.

The Lebanese Prime Minister just resigned.

Lebanese Prime Minister Omar Karami announced the resignation of his pro-Syrian government Monday, two weeks after the assassination of his predecessor, Rafik Hariri, triggered protests in the streets and calls for Syria to withdraw thousands of troops.

"I am keen that the government will not be a hurdle in front of those who want the good for this country. I declare the resignation of the government that I had the honor to head. May God preserve Lebanon," Karami said.

No, we don't know what will happen next. But let us pause for just a moment and bask in this moment of... freedom.

Syria... pay attention.

Well, it looks like that horrid little illegal war in Iraq (oh, sorry- channeling a moonbat again) has had some wonderful consequences.

• First, we have protests in Beruit. Yes, Beruit.

  "We have nothing to lose anymore. We want freedom or death," says Indra Hage, a young Lebanese Christian. "We're going to stay here, even if soldiers attack us," says Hadi Abi Almouna, a Druze Muslim. "Freedom needs sacrifices, and we are ready to give them."

  
  
• Egypt had suddenly decided that democratic reform is a good thing.

  A presidential promise of multi-candidate elections - considered unthinkable for decades - was exciting reformists and opposition groups who hailed it as a "new era."

  
  
• Syria has started handing over Iraqi insurgents, masterminds, and anyone else they can think of in an effort to get attention away from them as quickly as possible.

  "The Syrian authorities, because of the tremendous pressure on them, did something about Ibrahim," a source described as a "senior government official" told Reuters news agency on condition of anonymity in Baghdad.
  
  "Having so many problems on their plate at the moment, the Syrians were willing partners in this, but the Americans and we were also involved."

It won't be this month, this year, or maybe even this decade, but... in time, President Bush, his Administration, and the Coallition he put together will be known as the guiding force behind the reforms that will change the landscape of the Middle East and maybe even the entire world.

No, democracy doesn't always work (at least, our brand of democracy), and you can't bring it at the end of a gun. But it is human nature to long to be free. All President Bush had to do was show it could be done, then let nature take its course.

(h/t to BC @ The Rott - thanks for the links and the great post!)

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

When I was in high school, I was on the speech team. I was chosen to represent the school in a competition where I had to deliver a speech already made by someone else. My coach asked me to choose a famous speech and let her see it. Immediately, I thought of the speech that Dr. King gave at the March on Washington, DC, in August of 1963. It was powerful, moving, and I firmly believed (and still do) in that color-blind society that Dr. King longed for. Unfortunately, my coach shot down that idea. You see... I'm about as white as you can get- if you took away my freckles, I doubt there'd be any pigment in my skin at all. And, my coach was worried about offending someone. So, instead, she offended me. (I don't remember what speech I ended up doing... it didn't really matter.) But, I guess I need to thank my speech coach, because she helped shape my views on race relations. She reaffirmed my desire to see that world Dr. King dreamed of, where color doesn't matter- it's who you are inside that counts.

So, I, Little Miss White Chick that I am, have to wonder what African American leaders are thinking when they do stuff like this:

Black leaders debated Saturday how to develop a checklist of political priorities that could be submitted to politicians seeking support from black voters.

Tavis Smiley... initially offered the checklist, or "contract," as a political sword, but others said it would be better used as a self-improvement tool for black Americans.

"The next time you come calling on our vote, you come correct on the contract or you don't come at all," Smiley said at the sixth annual State of the Black Union Symposium, which also included the Rev. Al Sharpton and Nation of Islam leader Louis Farrakhan.

I'm not sure which part of this bothers me more. There are so many things to choose from.

First, there's Smiley's assumption that all Black voters are going to follow, lock step, with whatever these goons say. The last election should have shown them that the Black community has begun to second guess their self-appointed leaders and are taking the time to study the issues and make their own decisions about politics.

Second, why do these "leaders" think that politicians will cave into their every whim? I mean, sure, the Democrats have groveled at their feet for years, but they never actually followed through on any of their petty promises.

Third, I have to wonder at the relevance of contracts like this. Are they necessary? What do they want? If they are looking for equal access and equal rights- all United States citizens have that. Demand that current laws be enforced. If they want special treatment, then they're out of luck. Equal rights never has, does not, and never will mean special rights.

I dream of that nation, that place Dr. King dreamed of. A truly color-blind society. I can't help but think that the 40 leaders gathered to discuss this "checklist" are quite content to have these divisions in our society. After all, it keeps them relevant... and employed.

No, I didn't watch it. Haven't since Billy Crystal stopped hosting. He was the only reason I watched it back then.

Most critics say that Chris Rock was a bore. There were no big surprises among the winners. Martin Scorsese slammed both the Left and the Right and whined just a little - he knew he wasn't going to win. Chris Rock also managed to take digs at the Left (said something about Tim Robbins boring everyone with his politics) and the Right (comparing the President's job with someone working at The Gap).

Gold was the gown color of choice, and most of the actresses decided to show some skin- strapless or at least sleeveless was the norm. Blah, blah, blah.

My whole reason for writing this? I mean... we all know that I didn't care about the Academy Awards. Well... I heard the sweetest thing, and I had to share.

Chad Lowe, husband of Hilary Swank, commented that she's a much better wife than she is actress- just after she won the Oscar for Best Actress.

Ok, Ladies, are you with me? "Awwwwww... so sweet!"

OK. I need some advice on some computer stuff, and who better to ask than those of you who spend as much, if not more, time on line as me! Keep in mind that cheap/free would always be better, but if it's a matter of getting what you pay for, I can possibly get some financing from Hubby if it's good stuff.

OK. What do I need, you ask? The protection stuff. My Norton Anti-virus subscription is up, and (in a totally unrelated event) I've begun to get po-ups while using Firefox.

So, what's the best anti-virus software out there?
Spyware intercept/destroyer?
Adware intercept/destroyer?

We use the onboard firewall in the router? Seems like enough. Do I need more?

Any other bells/whistles I need to make my laptop a happy, healthy machine?

Thanks in advance for you advice/product reviews (and negative reviews, too, if you know of something that is just a piece of trash).

I guess we're not turning the page this evening. Maybe just picking up the corner and lifting it a bit.

Yesterday was spent painting bands on the shafts of two arrows. Each of the bands on each of the arrows represent an accomplishment in the boys' "career" as Cub Scouts. Once I figure out how to attach the arrowheads (I have a plan... really), I will put the arrows onto their Arrow of Light plaques for the Blue and Gold banquet tonight. This will be their final activity as Cub Scouts.

Four years ago, the information meeting for Cub Scouts was at the same time as the 1st Grade Parents' meeting. I went to the Parents' meeting, and Hubby went to the Cub Scout meeting. An hour later, he was the Den Leader for the boys' Cub Scout den, and the meetings were going to be held at our house. (huh?) Hubby was Den Leader for 3 years (his work schedule changed and he was unable to be their leader this past year.) I think he had fun. I know the kids did.

So, tonight is one of the first of the "lasts" we'll be doing over the next couple of months, culminating with their 5th Grade graduation in May. (5th grade graduation? I didn't have a graduation until 8th grade. Thoughts?) And, then, a whole new wave of firsts (and plenty of blogfodder, I'm sure) will follow as the boys start middle school.

No, I'm not going to get all sappy on you. That's not my style. If I get any good pics tonight at the banquet, I'll post them. But... I'll just leave you with this:

My babies!!!!!!

OK. Don't panic. Got your attention, though, didn't I? I'm just thinking that there will be a lot of women who will be shouting that from the mountaintops if they knew this might happen.'

Free chocolate on NHS

Chocolate should be free on the NHS because of its health benefits for women.

According to scientists chocolate helps cut symptoms of PMT and depression reports The Sun.

Chantal Coady, of Rococo Chocolates, said: "It could be used as a substitute for drugs like Prozac."

Chocolate releases feel-good chemicals called endorphins. It is also full of magnesium, which cuts mood swings, and heart-protecting substances.

The Department of Health said more studies were needed.

From Strange Cosmos, we get the following (tongue-in-cheek) new medications, developed specifically for women. (I have a problem with one of them (maybe two)- wonder if anyone can figure out which one(s)?)

New Medications for Women Only

DAMNITOL Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 hours.

ST. MOMMA'S WORT Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to six hours.

EMPTYNESTROGEN Highly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.

PEPTOBIMBO Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves flirting.

DUMBEROL When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country western music.

FLIPITOR Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.

PENISCILLIN Potent antiboyotic for older women. Increases resistance to such lines as,"You make me want to be a better person ... can we get naked now?"

BUYAGRA Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency and duration of spending spree.

Extra Strength BUY-ONE-AL When combined with Buyagra, can cause an indiscriminate buying frenzy so severe the victim may even come home with a Donnie Osmond CD or a book by Dr. Laura.

JACKASSPIRIN Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary or phone number.

ANTI-TALKSIDENT A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers.

SEXCEDRIN More effective than Excedrin in creating the, "Not now, dear, I have a headache" syndrome.

NAGAMENT When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation as nagging him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it herself.

Well, I don't need the Buyagra- I have a recessive shopping gene.

UPDATE: ZiPpo has another medication to add to this list, but this one isn't gender-specific.

A man from Florida faces charges after attempting to bribe a policeman with McDonald's cheeseburgers.

Steven T Denton, from Marathon, was originally arrested following a fight at a local pub but tried to prevent being locked up by bribing the police officer on duty reports Keynoter.com.

Deputy Mark Eastly said: "Denton told me that if I would drive him to McDonald's, he would buy me two cheeseburgers if I let him go and did not take him to jail."

Cheeseburgers? From McDonald's? There wasn't a Krispy Kreme anywhere nearby?

Just when you think the complete and total nut cases are confined to places like the DU, you hear about full-fledged conspiracy theories... in the US House of Representatives.

I saw Representative Maurice Hinchey (D-NY) on FoxNews' Hannity and Colmes last night. He has this theory. It's an interesting theory. Too bad he's accusing White House personnel of felonies with no proof.

U.S. Rep. Maurice Hinchey, D-Hurley, has not backed off comments he made over the weekend that the White House may be responsible for phony documents used by CBS last year in a report questioning President Bush's service in the Texas Air National Guard.

New York Democratic Congressman Maurice Hinchey is accusing the White House, and specifically adviser Karl Rove, of "setting up" CBS to air the now-discredited report on President Bush's National Guard service. At a weekend forum in Ithaca, New York — taped by a member of the audience — Hinchey said, "Why did [the White House] do it? They knew that Bush was a draft dodger. ... They knew that he had no defense for that period in his life. ... So] they produced papers ... and they distributed those out to elements of the media. ... [CBS] finally bought into it."

So... here's how it went down (in Hinchey's mind)... the Bush campaign was worried about the President's past (no matter that Dem's supposedly don't care about having a draft dodger as President OR the fact that Mary Mapes had been working on the TANG story for 5 years with no luck). So, the campaign, under the thumb of the evil Karl Rove, produced these fake memos. They then gave these fake memos to a known Democrat hack, who gave them to CBS. CBS was duped, and published these memos, thinking they were real, and they were summarily discredited. Is that about right?

Now, I'm sure the respected Representative from the Great State of New York wouldn't make these accusations without concrete proof, right? Well... not exactly... you see... he has a hunch. It just sounds like something Karl Rove would do.

''My suspicion and my theory is that it's likely to be the White House political operation headed up by Karl Rove,'' Hinchey said. ''The proof is circumstantial.''

...Hinchey, however, said he has no evidence to back up his claim.

And what circumstantial proof does he have? Well, according to the interview last night, ... uh... umm... Rove is evil and it's something he would do. (No, really. That just about sums up what he said.) The Bush White House routinely attacks media outlets that are critical of the Administration, according to Hinchey. (If that was the case, then they'd be on the attack 24/7, wouldn't they?)


So, let me make sure I've got all of this straight. An elected member of the House of Representatives is accusing the President (via members of his staff) of committing a felony... based on a feeling. No proof. Not even circumstantial evidence, really. Just a hunch.

Hinchey said he did not believe he was being irresponsible by publicly theorizing about the matter. He said he owed it to his constituents to let them how he thinks.

"I have a responsibility to report (my theories) to my constituents and tell them conclusions or ideas that I am working on or believe based upon my analysis and interpretation of the facts," Hinchey said Monday.

You're right, Rep. Hinchey. You have a responsibility to make sure that your constituents know exactly what your theories are. I only have one request- PROVE IT!!! Put some real, tangible evidence out there for us to see.

But, even if you can't prove it, keep talking. Let everyone know your theories. After all, we could always use a few more Republican Representatives in '06.

The judge in the Terri Schiavo case extended an emergency stay until at least Friday, in order to give her parents time to work on more legal appeals. That's wonderful news, and our hopes and prayers for Terri and her family continue.

I noticed this on several blogs (sorry, can't remember which ones), and it struck me as ironic, as well. The title of the article linked to above reads: "Judge Extends Stay in Right-to-Die Case." Right to die? Not quite accurate. It should either read "Right to Live"... or, maybe even more accurate, "Right to Murder." I keep hearing on the news that Terri is in a PVS (persistent vegetative state), which she's not. There is so much misinformation in this case- I just hope Judge Greer finally figures it out.

Go to Blogs for Terri. This is such an important case. Don't let it fall by the wayside.

As some of you know, I'm a bit of a science junkie. So, while I don't go out of my way to look for cool science news, I am definitely not going to shy away from them, either.

Way back in the day (high school), I talked my parents into letting me go to a physics seminar at Parks College. Every Saturday morning for 8 weeks, I drove down to Parks for a lecture. Astrophysics. Optics. Thermodynamics. Superconducting super colliders. Avionics. Engineering. Quantum physics. Relativity. Aaahhh.... warm fuzzies just thinking about it.

One of the things that I remember being mentioned was the idea of "dark matter." Dark matter is cool stuff... you can't see it... no idea what it's made of. But, it has to be there. To my sarcastic 16 year-old brain, it seemed like the perfect cop-out. "Hmm... none of these equations make sense. But... it all looks right. So there has to be something else there influencing things. Something we can't see. Or measure. Yeah... that's it."

So, cosmologists and other like-brained eggheads have been researching this mystery matter, and... they found a whole galaxy of the stuff!!!

Astronomers have discovered an invisible galaxy that could be the first of many that will help unravel one of the universe's greatest mysteries.... The theory suggests that pockets of pure dark matter ought to remain sprinkled across the cosmos. In 2001, a team led by Neil Trentham of the University of Cambridge predicted the presence of entire dark galaxies.

What does this mean for us on Planet Earth in the year 2005? Not much, beyond the fact that these guys just got their funding for the foreseeable futue. It's what this might mean for our children's great grandchildren that's cool. At the rate things are going now, humanity will have to reach for the stars at some point. We will either outgrow this home, or we'll need resources, or our innate curiosity will just get the better of us. Regardless of the reason, at some point, we'll launch ourselves into space, not just to orbit our world, but to find new worlds to explore.

If theorists are correct, "normal matter" only makes up four percent of all the "stuff" out there. Up to twenty-three percent is this "dark matter". We might want to have a clue before we start running into things we can't see. Just makes sense to me.

Oh? That other 73%? Dark energy. Try wrapping your brain around that one.

Cats really are evil! (h/t to Ian )

An otherwise “loving family pet” was shot dead by police after the tabby cat went berserk and terrorized a city family late last week, The Intelligencer has learned.

Oh, yeah. That's perfectly normal.

While her daughter was stroking the long-haired white and orange tabby in the living room, the feline leisurely walked downstairs.

But when Mickey emerged from the basement-area of the home, it was “ ... a different animal ... it looked as though it was possessed.”

Ears flat back, hair standing on end and eyes bulging, Mickey lunged across the dining room and attacked her daughter, biting through her jeans and slicing into her leg.

When the cat released its grip, it continued coming at the girl, shrieking and hissing....

While it ran wildly around the interior of the brick bungalow, the cat continued shrieking and began defecating throughout the home.

“You could actually hear the cat screaming from the other side of the street,” he said.

Why the parents didn't take a baseball bat to it at that point is beyond me. I mean, it's one thing for a cat to be in a bit of a mood, but... if you can hear a cat screaming from the other side of the street, something is just not right.

So, the police (and Animal Control, who, it seems, couldn't be bothered because they were in a meeting) answer the call. Can you imagine the poor officer?


So, the poor guy shows up to deal with Mickey's temper tantrum, only to find the Possessed Feline from Hell™.

Speaking to The Intelligencer on condition of anonymity, the constable said he had “ ... never seen an animal act like that before — it was like it was possessed or something, hissing and growling.”

The officer shot the cat square in the chest with his Beretta .40-calibre handgun.

“Even after he shot it, that cat was so hopped up — we’re talking about a little, eight-pound cat — Mickey ran down the hall into the bathroom and jumped into the tub,” the husband recollected. “He didn’t die for at least five minutes ... he was all nerves and adrenaline ... he wasn’t in his right mind.”

Dang. Sounds like Mickey got into someone's stash of speed or something. That might explain his protective nature toward the basement- that's where the good cat nip was hid. Either that, or he managed to open a portal to Hell and became possessed by some whacked out cat demon.

And, in case anyone was wondering... they have NO clue why the little monster went all Damien on them.

Government test results earlier this week confirmed the feline didn’t have rabies. An autopsy to determine the exact cause of the animal’s behaviour is not scheduled, however.

Like I said, cats are evil (and I base that almost entirely on the fact that I'm allergic to the little monsters. Cedar trees are also evil. And penicillin.) I mean, if a dog is going to go Kujo on you, he usually has the decency to foam at the mouth and act weird first. But, no... not this cat. He's all sweet and lovable and then CHOMP! There goes a chunk of your leg.

No, thanks. I'll stick with my nice, predictable, annoying dogs.

The boys have begun listening to the radio. Well, I mean, on their own- not whatever I happen to have on at the time. They've never been all that interested in music, but... they're starting.

So, walking out of church Saturday night, I asked T1 what he had been listening to (he had his cd player with him, so I thought he was listening to one of the Dr. Demento cds I had "liberated" from Hubby's stash for them). He told me that he was listening to 101X, but that he also listens to BOB from time to time.

Then he mentions that he really likes 101X, but sometimes they have some really weird shows on. I asked what he meant. He goes on to explain that there's this one show that he heard where they talk about... well... you know... "sex and stuff."

"You mean Loveline?"

"Yeah, that's it."

"And, you listened to it?"

"Well, no. When I first turned it on, they were talking to some of the people from Napoleon Dynamite, and that was ok. But as soon as they took a phone call and I found out what they were talking about, I turned it."

"Oh, ok." I turned to T2. "You ever listen to that?"

"I heard it once. I was like... " then he made this really funny shocked face, "... and I turned it off."

T1 then asked, "Mom, why do people call in to shows like that? Why do they even have shows like that?"

"I have no idea, hon. No idea at all."

So, what did Mom learn from this little exchange? That my kids might not be able to clean anything (their room, the van, anything) without adult supervision, but they've got good heads on their shoulders. (No, I'm not saying that Loveline is bad, per say...) They know what they should (and probably shouldn't) be listening to.

I may have a lot of stuff to worry about when it comes to my kids. It's one of my jobs as Mom to worry. But, at least for now, I don't have to worry about this.

Leaders of a U.N. Internet panel yesterday said they hope to set up a global system where cyberspace would be under the control of the United Nations.

The committee, which was set up in December 2003, is laying the groundwork for the U.N.-sponsored World Summit on the Information Society where a final decision on the control of the Net will be determined, stated a Reuters report. The summit will take place in Tunis in November.

There are very very few things the UN does well. What? You want me to name one? uh... umm... hold on, I'm thinking... let me get back to you on that one...

ICANN, the International Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers, currently is the most recognizable Internet governing body, but developing countries want a U.N. agency, such as the International Telecommunication Union, to have control over domain names and other issues.

Of course developing countries want a UN agency to take care of it. They rely on the UN for everything. Are they allowed to breathe without UN permission?

Hey... I thought of one thing the UN didn't totally botch. The ITU set up the country code system for telephone numbers. But wait... the ITU did that before they were part of the UN... n'er mind.

We probably need some form of international law/policy for the Internet, so that we can prosecute spammers and the like. Unfortunately, the UN is run my thugs and dictators- not the kind of people we want in charge of one of the greatest tools Free Speech has ever known. That would just be... bad.

Very. Very. Bad.

I guess the Forward Thinking™ of the Netherlands hasn't quite made it to Belgium.

BRUSSELS - Two doctors and a maternity nurse have been arrested over the death of a premature baby boy at the weekend.

The baby, who was six weeks premature and weighing only 1.25 kg, was born in a Namur hospital at 4am on Friday but died between 8 and 9am.

His parents had refused medical efforts to keep him alive, fearing that the child would be handicapped.

You see, if this baby had been born at the Groningen Hospital in the Netherlands, the nice doctors would have just given the tyke a nice little injection of muscle relaxers and put it out of everyone's misery.

Experts say the infant, who was breathing, could have survived with medical intervention and an inquiry has already been opened.... It is believed the mother, who works with handicapped children, was particularly sensitive to the difficulties these children face.... She may also face charges.

I will admit a certain bias (beyond the obvious "YOU JUST KILLED A LIVING, BREATHING BABY!!!" ) R was born premature, and my sister was born 6.5 weeks premie. I also had a cousin who was born 6 weeks premie, but she passed away when she was a week old- after they did everything in their power to save her. They didn't just leave her on a table to die. And, this baby could have possibly lived, and might NOT have been handicapped. But, we'll never know, because his parents were too afraid.

Once my initial "I can't believe they did that!" over this story calmed (but just a bit), I got to thinking. I'm not sure how many people know this, but this happens in the US. Not every day, but it does happen. If a baby is aborted, but is delivered alive, they leave it in a basin to die. There is no attempt to make the baby more comfortable until it passes, no attempt to get it to a hospital, where it might get the treatment it needs to live. They just leave it. The same as this baby in Brussels.

Why aren't the doctors in the US charged with infanticide like the doctors and nurse in Belgium? Because law enforcement isn't allowed to go in and have a look. They're not allowed, in many cases, to investigate. After all, privacy rights and all that.

And, I'll put good money that those well-meaning medical professionals at the "women's clinics" around the country don't let the women see the baby if it's born alive. I mean, they might actually change their minds, like this woman did after her baby refused to die.

I can't say that my heart goes out to this couple because of their loss. It doesn't. They made the choice to kill their child, because they were afraid. My heart goes out to that baby- and to all the other babies like him.

From the "Useless Legislation" File:

HONOLULU -- A state legislator is pushing a bill that would ban the slaughter of dogs and cats for food, drawing protests from members of some Asian ethnic groups who believe the measure is aimed at unfounded and racist stereotypes of their cultures.

You see... there's only one problem with this- there isn't a big market for fillet of Fluffy these days in the 50th State. Perhaps when some groups migrated to Hawaii, but not now.

State Rep. Glenn Wakai, who introduced the measure, said it is aimed at stemming the growth of a "cottage industry" with the potential to threaten public health. He said news reports last August about dogs being stolen and butchered in some Oahu neighborhoods proves there's a problem....

The news reports he cited were based largely on tips from Carroll Cox, president of the local environmental activist group Envirowatch, who said his own undercover investigation found evidence of the practice on Oahu.

But investigations of two of those tips came up empty, said Letha DeCaires, a Honolulu police detective and a coordinator for Animal Crimestoppers, part of the local nonprofit Crimestoppers program.

"Either the Humane Society or the police department followed through with every tip that we had," DeCaires said. "There was no evidence of slaughterhouse equipment, butchering tools, or anything to substantiate such claims at the time we visited the locations."

So... no need for the legislation, right? I mean... The Puppy Blender hasn't taken up residence in Oahu, so all's good. Right? Noooo... that would make sense.

Cox claims the Humane Society mishandled the cases and blew his cover by alerting the media to his investigation.

"It is commonplace in Hawaii. It's a practice that has been known, noted and documented and no one has touched it because it's a cultural issue," Cox said.

Prove it. Oh, wait! You tried. You failed. Next environmental crisis, Carrol.

In the end, this legislation will get a vote. And it will probably be voted in. Not because it's good legislation, not because it's necesary. It will be made into law because the Legislature likes having a job, and the Sheeple of the Great State of Hawaii have been freaked out by Cox and his loons.

Honolulu resident Kim Soiti, who has a dog and two cats, thinks Wakai's bill should be passed even if there is no evidence that anyone in the state is consuming dog or cat meat.

"Cats and dogs are great companions. They're not stupid. They have emotions," said Soiti. "Dogs and cats are generally household pets and are like part of the family."

They might not be stupid, Kim... I'm concerned about their owner's intelligence (as well as the intelligence of Rep. Wakai), but not the pets.

I will be back to full force blogging later today, but I just wanted to toss on little thought out there.

If someone calls you and tells you they're not selling anything, they're lying. If they weren't selling anything, they wouldn't have even thought to deny selling anything.

Thus ends today's (well, yesterday's) lesson.

A friend of mine sent me this link, commenting that it's obvious that someone out there is making products just for me. Well, take a look:

Never again will you have to choose between having sushi or having a USB memory drive--thanks to the USB sushi drive. These USB drives are hand-made-in-Tokyo sushi replicas. The convincing USB sushi drive comes in several flavors. Overnight shipping with dry ice pack available. Comes in 32mb or 128mb size.

Yeah, they look really cool. Unfortunately, they look really real. I'd be afraid that in a moment of intense sushi craving, I'd accidently eat the backup of Quicken or something. That would be bad. And, probably not very tasty.

*Memo to Self- Clear Schedule for May 15th*

"NASA's Space Flight Leadership Council met today and refined the launch planning window for Discovery's Return to Flight mission to May 15 to June 3, 2005," the US space agency said Friday.

"STS-114 will rendezvous with the International Space Station (ISS)," with seven crew members on board, according to a NASA statement that described elaborate testing and system checks as almost completed.

Atlantis also has a mission to the ISS in the works, with a launch window of July 12-July 31, the agency said.

We can debate the value of the current space program, or what the future priorities for exploration should be. Later. Today, just let me do my Happy Dance. We're back in the Race!

Drudge had a cool pic on his site. This pic:

Your reaction to that pic puts you in one of several camps:

• those who can't wait until May 19th
• those who were psyched about The Phantom Menace, cringed over AotC, and wishes that ROTS would just go away
• those who have no idea who that's a pic of, and don't want to know

Well, if you're in the last group, move along. Nothing to see here. This is not the movie you're looking for.

I'll admit it. Before AotC, I hit The Force.Net's site on an almost daily basis, committing the spoilers to memory. I knew the plot, even tried to find the Easter Eggs in the dvd.

But, no. I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to live at that site. I will not look at spoilers. I will not give in. I can deal with surprise. I can wait. I will have patience.

I will keep telling myself that. Maybe some day I'll believe it.

I didn't post anything when Citizens United put up two billboards in Hollywood, thanking the Left for doing their part to insure President Bush's re-election, mostly because I just couldn't think of anything else to say that hadn't been said already. But, dang, they were funny.

Well, in their quest to prove that Free Speech is only for the Left, vandals painted a giant swastika on the billboard on President Bush's forehead. But, that's ok. Citizens United thought something like that might happen, so they made to have it repaired right away if the signs were damaged.

I guess the Left still only has that one play in their playbook. You know the one... the one that reads, "when you can't debate your opponent with logic and facts, go right ahead and call them names and trash other people's property."

Bill Maher, host of HBO's Real Time with Bill Maher, is a medical doctor. What? He's not? Then, where'd he get this tidbit of info?

I think religion is a neurological disorder.

Well, let's pick the whole quote apart, and then I'll make a bit of commentary.

"We are a nation that is unenlightened because of religion. I do believe that. I think that religion stops people from thinking. I think it justifies crazies. I think flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative. I think religion is a neurological disorder. If you look at it logically, it's something that was drilled into your head when you were a small child. It certainly was drilled into mine at that age. And you really can't be responsible when you are a kid for what adults put into your head."

According to dictionary.com, a neurological disorder is a disorder of the nervous system. So, that's sounds organic... not really the brainwashing that he's accusing parents of doing to their kids. Bill, if you're going to call us loony, at least get the brand name right, ok? (And, just to clarify, although I thoroughly despise the connotation that religious-based charities are somehow equal to radical fundamentalist terrorism, he has a point. Terrorism, in the context of 9/11, was a faith-based initiative, but only in the dictionary.com definition, not the context of what President Bush is trying to accomplish.)

"When you look at beliefs in such things as, do you go to heaven, is there a devil, we have more in common with Turkey and Iran and Syria than we do with European nations and Canada and nations that, yes, I would consider more enlightened than us."

I find his use of the word "enlightened" entertaining. Although I'm sure he meant "highly educated; having extensive information or understanding," one of the other definitions of "enlightened" is "having knowledge and spiritual insight." So, Europe and Canada, who, in Mr. Maher's opinion, are devoid of religiosity, have more spiritual insight that those who profess a belief in a Higher Being (no matter how that Higher Being manifests Itself)? So, only those who have convinced themselves of a lack of Something to Believe In (either to assuage a guilty conscience or to justify science that needs as much faith, in some cases, as the religions they reject, or whatever other reasons they give) have the exaulted knowledge Bill Maher prizes so highly? So, the religion of atheism is the only religion* Mr. Maher will accept as valid.

"When people say to me, 'You hate America,' I don't hate America. I love America. I am just embarrassed that it has been taken over by people like evangelicals, by people who do not believe in science and rationality. It is the 21st century. And I will tell you, my friend. The future does not belong to the evangelicals. The future does not belong to religion."

How interesting, Mr. Maher. How do you then explain the fact that there is a spiritual revival that is rapidly gaining speed... around the world? People all over the world are searching, seeking Something to believe in. Some are turning to Islam, others to Christianity, even others to New Age Spirituality. Nonetheless, more and more people are turning to religion, not away from it. The future does belong to religion, and the battles between ideologies will only get worse.

"When you were a kid and they were telling you whatever you believe in religion, do you think if they had switched the fairy tales that they read to you in bed with the Bible, you would know the difference?

"Do you think if it was the fairy tale about a man who lived inside of a whale and it was religion that Jack built a beanstalk today, you would know the difference? Why do you believe in one fairy tale and not the other? Just because adults told you it was true and they scared you into believing it, at pain of death, at pain of burning in hell."

How sad it must be for you, Mr. Maher, to live a life of no faith. To have nothing to believe in beyond the flawed nature of man. To have nothing to look forward to, nothing to hope for, dream of. What you consider a neurological disorder, a disease, I see as a blessing, a Gift from God. A Gift that has made all the difference to me.

In closing, I'd like to make my own diagnosis. (Unlike Mr. Maher, I have actually taken a few psychology classes, so I might know a little about this.) Maybe not quite like Michael Savage (I haven't read the book yet, so I don't know for sure), I think liberalism is a mental disorder. While I'm not sure which one, my money is currently on schizophrenia. Consider the symptoms:

- delusions
- hallucinations
- disorganized speech (e.g., frequent derailment or incoherence)
- grossly disorganized or catatonic behavior
- negative symptoms, i.e., affective flattening, alogia, or avolition

But, don't worry- there is a treatment program.


* Yes, I believe atheism is a religion. Allow me to explain.

Atheism: Disbelief in or denial of the existence of God or gods; the doctrine that there is no God or gods.

doctrine: A principle or body of principles presented for acceptance or belief, as by a religious, political, scientific, or philosophic group; dogma

dogma: A doctrine or a corpus of doctrines relating to matters such as morality and faith, set forth in an authoritative manner by a church

Looks like Imigration and Customs Enforcement isn't completely asleep at the wheel.

As ICE agents have pursued criminals who are in the USA illegally, they also have swept up record numbers of illegal immigrants who have committed no crimes other than violations of visa limits and other immigration laws. That helped increase the total number of deportations by more than 45% from 2001 to 2004.

Most of those deported — more than 70% in 2004 — have been returned to Mexico. Most of the rest have been sent back to Central or South America or to the Dominican Republic. ICE now has four jets that in 2003 alone made 317 flights to return more than 18,500 immigrants to their native countries.

So, you mean we actually send some of the people back if they don't belong here? Who knew?

This article tells the sob-story of Ana Ortega, a woman who had it made and blew it.

Ortega, 27, said that she was a legal permanent U.S. resident and that until recently she was an office manager for a chiropractor in Boston's Dorchester neighborhood. Four years ago, she was convicted of conspiracy for being a bit player in a drug-smuggling ring. Her husband, a U.S. citizen and repeat offender, received 10 years in prison; she got probation. She was ordered to appear at a deportation hearing, but she skipped it.... Ortega says she was sad to have left the USA. Her son, 8, and her daughter, 5, are U.S. citizens and will live with Ortega's mother in the USA. "It wouldn't be fair for them to have to live in a country they've never lived in," Ortega says.

An immigration judge ruled that Ortega should be banned from the USA for life, but she plans to ask the U.S. Embassy in the Dominican Republic whether there's a chance she could return to the USA.

"People make mistakes," she says. "Now it's not only me, but my kids who will pay."

You know what, Ana? Maybe you should have thought about that before you broke the law. The fact that you are permanently separated from your children is not the fault of the US government. That responsibility sits squarely on your shoulders. And you can bet that your kids will know that, too.

Many of you know that I'm not easily angered, and rarely do I really want to beat the tar out of someone. Well... you're about to witness one of those moments.

This link is "courtesy" of Eric... not sure if I'm grateful or not.

I guess I knew there were jackasses like this. I mean, statistically, there had to be complete asshats like this, right?

I find myself speechless. I try so hard to find the sliver of goodness in everyone. But... it's not there. Nor is there rational thought.

Go. Read what Eric had to say. He said most of what I'm thinking.

I'm just going to sit here and mourn the loss of my faith in the goodness of humanity.

UPDATE: (thanks to ZiPpo for the head's up!) Well, it looks like they had to do a little housekeeping at the site I linked to. Here's the link to the main page. And here's the new link to the photo I linked to last night. Here's a quote from this fine American's site:

The fact that the photograph caused so much anger and drama (and apparently caused one marine mother to have a mental breakdown) means that we've served our purpose. Perhaps now, people are realizing that the US military is not all it's cracked up to be, and people don't like that vulnerability.

So, showing a photo of a disabled Marine, with a caption claiming that he's a coward lacking honor, served your purpose? How special. I'm sure you're quite proud of yourself, especially since you caused a Marine's mother to have a mental breakdown. How... mature of you. You tout your First Amendment rights left and right on your site, and you do have those rights. BECAUSE of men like that Marine. But you wouldn't understand that, because all you can see is that the money that you want for your pet social projects is being spent on defending our country- and those Rights you flaunt so callously.

Maybe, when you've emotionally matured past the "Mine! Mine! Mine!" stage (I think my kids did that when they were about 5), then we might be able to have a rational debate. Until then, it would be like having a battle of wits with an unarmed person. Or trying to reason with a toddler. Neither works very well.

I haven't written anything about Terri Schiavo yet because... well... because I didn't think there was anything else I could add. Now, when time may be very short, I've come to see that there is one thing I can add- another voice.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with Terri's story, read her story at that link. There is section with very good explanations of several of the myths about Terri, and the facts surrounding her condition, prognosis, and legal battle. In a nutshell, Terri collapsed in her home in 1990, and she was brain damaged as a result. Her husband has been trying to have her feeding tube removed for several years, claiming she is in a persistive vegetative state (which she is not).

Time for Terri is running out. They can pull her feeding tube as early as Feb. 22nd, unless there is intervention. For more information on what you can do, read through all the information at Hyscience.

Pray for Terri and her family. Then do what you can to make a difference. (h/t to the other Beth)

My dad e-mailed this joke to me. It's not my fault.

George, age 92, and Edith, age 89, had been seeing each other for two years when they decided that life was short and they might as well be together for the rest of their lives. Excited about their decision to become newlyweds, they went for a stroll to discuss the wedding and the plans that needed to be made. Along the way, they found themselves in front of a drugstore.

George said to his bride-to-be, "Let's go in, I have an idea."

They walked to the rear of the store and addressed the man behind the counter. "Are you the owner?" asked George.

The pharmacist answered, "Yes sir, I am. How may I help you?"

George, "Do you sell heart medications?"

Pharmacist, "Of course we do."

George, "How about support hose for circulation?"

Pharmacist, "Definitely."

George, "What about medications for rheumatism, osteoporosis and arthritis?"

Pharmacist, "All kinds."

George, "How about waterproof furniture pads and Depends?"

Pharmacist, "Yes sir."

George, "Hearing aids, denture supplies and reading glasses?"

Pharmacist, "Yes."

George, "What about eye drops, sleeping pills, Geritol, Preparation-H and ExLax?"

Pharmacist, "Absolutely."

George, "You sell wheelchairs, walkers and canes?"

Pharmacist, "All kinds and sizes. Why all these questions?"

George smiled, glanced shyly at Edith and replied to the pharmacist, "We've decided to get married and we'd like to use your store as our Bridal Registry."

Like I said. Don't blame me.

Lawmakers in Arizona want to look into the idea of building a prison in Mexico to house the illegal immigrants now housed in Arizona jails.

Here's a better idea. Instead of spending the money on a new prison, how about they drop them off on the other side of the border (where they came from) and then use that money to secure the border.

Just a thought...

So... I open up one of those red heart-shaped boxes of candy... and I find a slip of paper on top of the candy, listing the nutritional value of the little darlings.

Kinda ruined the mood for me. Drat...

(No, this has nothing to do with migraines or sinus problems.)

I occasionally have patience rivaling Job's. Ok, maybe not quite that good, but, still... I'm willing to put up with a lot. Passive aggressive personalities have nothing on me.

But, from time to time, something happens to nudge that one nerve... the one that causes all hell to break loose. Running and hiding is recommended at that point. It's just safer that way.

Well, someone's doing a tap dance on that nerve. And who is doing this Savion Glover impersonation on that one particular nerve? Who else but the MSM?!?!

If you've been living under a rock the last 24 hours, you might not know this, but Michael Jackson has the flu. And they have a live camera aimed at his hospital window, just in case he waves at his adoring fans again. (Oh, yeah... he waved. And the media was all atwitter.)

If he did what they're saying he did, he needs to be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. End of discussion. Let us know when the trial is over. I don't need to know how many fans fainted outside the hospital (yeah, someone really did, and one of MJ's brothers came to the rescue.) How many celebrity witnesses are rushing to MJ's defense means nothing to me. I don't need to know how many potential jurors said "x", "y", or "z" during the voir dire. I definitely do not need to know all the details of this bizarre case.

I may whine and complain about Reality TV™, because it turns the viewing audience into wannabe voyeurs (not "real" voyeurs, because... let's face facts- there is very little reality in Reality TV™ these days.) And, with all of the celebrities in the press these days, we've (and I use that term loosely- sure doesn't mean me!) become quite the nosey society.

Why do we care about the rise of fall of celebrity status? Why do we care about the nitpicky details of a celebrity's life? If I had to guess, their foibles make us feel better. We might be bad, but we're not that bad. Well, guess what, Sparky? When all is said and done, you still have to look yourself in the mirror every day. Does this really help?

Didn't think so.

This morning, news shows carried the story "Blast rocks Iran near nuclear power plant. Witnesses claim it was caused by a missile fired by an unknown aircraft."

Or maybe not...

Iranian state television reported Wednesday that an explosion near the town of Deilam, about 60 miles from a nuclear facility, may have been caused by a fuel tank dropping from an Iranian plane.

Oops. That's one of the problems with a 24 hour news cycle. There's not always time to make sure the facts are all there before you "go to press."

I'm just glad that this looks like it was probably their "fault" and not one of our drones (which, by the way, it appears that Iran knew about all along and... uh-oh... agreed to. So much for that Washington Post story.)

A family in Virginia is celebrating. Frank is dead. Long live David!

A 9-year-old boy who nicknamed his brain tumor "Frank" - that's short for Frankenstein - is celebrating the intruder's departure.

"Frank is now dead and gone and never to return," David Dingman-Grover said Tuesday. He was wearing a black T-shirt that read, "Cancer is not who I am."

Frank the Tumor gained national attention when David's mother created "Frank Must Die" bumper stickers, which the family auctioned on eBay to defray the costs of surgery.

His surgery was performed on Feb 2nd, and the biopsy shows that the tumor was no longer cancerous.

The surgeon did not charge for the procedure, which normally would cost about $100,000 including hospital fees and anesthesiologists. The family has donated $20,000 they received to a charity to help other children with pediatric cancers.

Asked why he did the surgery for free, the doctor showed reporters a pebble the boy gave him which he now carries in his wallet. On it is the word "courage."

Oh, the things we can learn from children. I saw David and his mom on television a month or so ago. His attitude was inspiring, as was his mother's determination and hope. If only adults could be as optomistic as this little boy.

Courage. To quote the Puppy Blender... indeed.

Lance Armstrong will go for his seventh Tour de France victory (in a row).

PARIS (AP) - Six-time Tour de France winner Lance Armstrong will attempt his seventh consecutive win in cycling's most prestigious race this summer.

Armstrong's schedule "will include this summer's Tour de France, where he will go for a seventh straight victory," his Discovery Channel team said on its Web site Wednesday.

"I am grateful for the opportunity that Discovery Communications has given the team and look forward to achieving my goal of a seventh Tour de France (victory)," it quoted the Texan as saying.

The announcement ended speculation about whether Armstrong would skip the race to focus on other events. Last year he became the first cyclist to win the Tour de France six times.

"I am excited to get back on the bike and start racing although my condition is far from perfect," Armstrong said in the statement.

Riiiight. Sorry, Lance. You wouldn't be planning to race in the TdF again if you didn't think you'd win... hands down. Not that I'm complaining.

To say that I'm not into bike racing is quite the understatement. But watching Lance and his team is amazing. Every man on his team is a talented athlete in his own right, but, when together, they form a team that, obviously, no one can beat.

Normally, I would be saying that Lance should retire at the top of his game, go out with a bang, and all that. I'd mention something about how this is just rubbing all the other cyclists' noses in the fact that they can never achieve what Lance has achieved. How this is just kind of mean.

But, hey! Who will be most upset and downright offended by Lance if he wins a seventh TdF? France! So, pedal away, Lance! Pedal away!

Sen. Kerry (D- Mass) - you remember him, right? the one who LOST the election- still thinks he's right about the military and Iraq and... and... and...

"I think my security proposals for the country were smack on, dead on," Kerry said. "I think that had they started to do the things I proposed on Iraq when I proposed them, we would be far better off today. And they are in fact now trying to do some of the things that I proposed."

Senator Kerry, could it have been that the President was already working on some of the stuff you suggested, but decided that it would be better for the safety and security of our military to play it a bit closer to the vest. Nah... that couldn't be it...

Oh, and before you read the next line... go ahead and put that drink down. Really... trust me...

"Americans accepted that I could be the commander in chief," he said. "What they were unwilling to do was shift commanders in midstream."

Could be? Well, yeah... you were the Democrat's nominee. Should be? Well... we see who's in Office, now, don't we?

If you're driving a van that has a camera used to catch speeders, here's your tip for the day: Don't speed!

The driver was pulled over by an officer who allegedly saw the van, operated by West Mercia Safety Camera Partnership, breaking the limit on a national speed limit road.

For cars this is 60mph, but because of the camera van's weight it is limited to 50mph.

Kate Tonge, for West Mercia Police, today refused to comment on allegations the van had been travelling at 65mph.

I'm sorry, but that's just... just... bwhahahahahahahahahaha... ok, I feel better now.

Imigration officials don't know why illegal immigrants don't bother showing up for their court dates.

When an illegal alien is apprehended, he is issued a Notice to Appear in immigration court at a specified date, usually within six months or less. At the time of apprehension, ICE decides whether the individual should be detained in the time leading to the court date. If the person has a criminal record or is perceived as a threat to national security, he will be placed in a detention facility. If not, the person is released, with or without bond, depending on whether he is considered a flight risk.

Reached in Washington, D.C., ICE spokesman Manny Van Pelt was not able to offer any conclusive answer for the high rate of delinquency.

"From a practical sense, the reason why people fail to show up is individual to each person," he said. "I couldn’t tell you why; we don’t really look at it that deeply."

What kind of rocket scientists do they have working at the ICE? Could it be maybe, just maybe, they know they have no legal grounds for being in the United States, but they want to stay?

Six months to the hearing? Not held in detention until then? Not monitored? And we wonder why everyone is so cynical about imigration in this country.

I've decided that I wouldn't be a very benevolent dictator in my perfect world. You're caught... you can't prove you're a citizen... you've got 48 hours... but you're staying in jail- someone else has to bring your proof. You prove you're allowed to be in the country, fine. You don't prove it- you're on a bus to the nearest border. Buh-bye.

A Christian minister is convinced that the tsunami that devestated portions of Asia on Dec. 26th was an Act of God.

In the February issue of his church magazine, Rev. John MacLeod of the Free Presbyterian Church of Scotland writes: "Possibly ... no event since Noah's flood has caused such loss of life by drowning as the recent Asian tsunami. That so many of our fellow creatures should have perished in so short a time, and in so awful a fashion, was a divine visitation that ought to make men tremble the world over."

He continued: "Some of the places most affected by the tsunami attracted pleasure-seekers from all over the world. It has to be noted that the wave arrived on the Lord's day, the day God set apart to be observed the world over as a holy resting from all employments and recreations that are lawful on other days."

Uh... Rev... I know I don't have a degree in theology, but I seem to remember this verse from Genesis:

GOD smelled the sweet fragrance and thought to himself, "I'll never again curse the ground because of people. I know they have this bent toward evil from an early age, but I'll never again kill off everything living as I've just done. (Gen 8:21)

God made a promise, and He keeps His promises. He may have allowed this to happen ( as He does with all things), but He didn't cause it.

Well, the day of warm fuzzies and mushy stuff is now upon us. Hallmark, candy companies, jewelers and florists are making a (not so) small fortune today. All the world (well, except for Saudi Arabia) is bathed in red- red roses, red hearts, red candy boxes, red greeting cards, red clothes, red ribbons... you get the idea. Love is in the air, or so we've been told.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not against love- far from it. I just feel bad for the people who, for whatever reason, won't be on the giving or receiving end of Valentine's Day greetings. I can remember not having a sweetheart on Valentine's Day (although I always had a gift- my parents will use any excuse to give gifts! In fact, I'd put good money on a package arriving today.) My heart goes out to those who have to endure what could be seen as a public mocking of their loneliness. That's just wrong.

So... if you know someone who doesn't have a Valentine today (whether it's because they haven't found one yet, or just lost theirs, or are alone again after years and years), be a Valentine to them. Love isn't just the romantic type of love. It comes in many forms. Show your love to your friends, your family.

OK... stepping off the soap box now. I found 2 more Valentine tidbits for you.

First, a Norwegian study states that lobsters don't feel pain when you boil them. So, feel free to order that lobster tonight at dinner!!

And, second, a Belgian baker is being sued for displaying... risqué marzipan figures. OK... I agree that maybe they shouldn't have been in the front window, but... sue him? Geez...

That's all for me today, gang... Have a couple of tidbits already lined up for tomorrow- they just didn't seem right for Valentine's Day. (And, yes, for the couple of you who asked, I'm headed off to the doctor to try to get some relief for this sudden onslaught of migraines.)

A friend sent me this, knowing that I grew up in the MidWest. He also knows that I actually kinda like the Belly Bombers. But, still...

Got a steamy night planned for St. Valentine's Day? White Castle offers customers the opportunity to crave some love while they love the crave at (White Castle) locations on Monday, February 14.

Between 5 p.m. and 8 p.m., cravers will be greeted at the door by a host and taken to their own candle-lit table with decorations and table covers. They will receive table service complete with wait staff. Reservations are required.

"We hear many stories from married cravers for whom White Castle is a special part of their lives together, be it because they met at a White Castle or because when they were young it was a fun place to go that they could afford and it has remained so for them. With this history of 'royal' love affairs, a special Valentine's Day dinner at White Castle is a natural fit," said (a White Castle spokeperson) . "And our customers agree -- we start getting inquiries about the dinners in early autumn."

Now, before any of you guys get any bright ideas, DON'T. I don't care that you can buy them by the dozen. I don't care if they do taste good. I don't care that they're trying to make this seem romantic. This is not romance. This is a recipe for disaster. Please keep in mind that there is a very good reason why their little square bundles of grease are called such loving things as "Sliders", "Belly Bombers", and the Oh-so classy "Rectum Rockets." Let's just say that this will not put your SO "in the mood." Well, not the mood you want her in, anyway.

Trust me on this on, ok?

(And, in Hubby's defense, he never would think of something like this- he's not a WC fan. Well, that, and he knows I'd make his life miserable.)

Now why would my favorite Brit Student want to go and tell the Donks what they're doing wrong? Those who know will flee like rats from a sinking ship. Those who don't? Let them destroy the party they so love.

But, he did a good job, and you should go read it. Please. Go read it. And pay attention to the last line. Close attention.

Did you see it? Did you notice? He said, "y'all."

Bwahahahahahaha... his journey towards the dark side is almost complete. I will make a Texan out of him yet!!!

My pal Delfts has a funny (and oh, so, true) post on why men are happier people.

I will have you know that I don't have to stop and think about which way to turn a nut or bolt, and I'm quite at home in the garage, playing with power tools. And I at least know a little bit about tanks. (Then again, I've had my chick card taken away, so... something about having a recessive clothes shopping gene or something like that.)

As for the rest of it? Half of those make us chicks mad (not at the guys, but at the way it is.) The other half just makes us hate you, bringing to mind the timeless adage "Can't live with them, can't shoot them."

Thought you'd like to know.

I just got off the phone. And I'm not a happy camper.

The phone rang, and the "person" asked for me. When I said, "this is she," there was a pause. (hmmm... wonder why...) The "person" on the other end of the line started in.

"Hello, this is Rob from the Dove Foundation. We're conducting a brief survey..." He went on, so quickly that I couldn't get a word edgewise. Then he came to the first question. "Do you have a child or grandchild between 3 and 18 that you have rented a movie or taken to the movies in the past two years?"

"Yes." Another pause. Brief, but a pause none the less.

That's when it hit me. It's a voice-prompted recorded survey. The whole asking for me by name was just a hook to get me to listen. (hey! It's early. Haven't had all of my coffee yet. Cut me some slack here.)

So, I just waited. Didn't say a thing, because, if it had been a real person, they would have said something. "Ma'am?" Something. But, no. Silence. So, I hung up.

Now, I'm not a happy girl. They tricked me, and they're tricking other people. So, I went to their web site, clicked on the "contact us" link, and (politely) told them what I thought of their little survey. I don't dislike automated surveys. And I don't dislike live surveys. I do deeply dislike this deception, no matter how minor it was.

After I did that, I looked around their site. That's what made me even madder. They're a Christian organization. No, they don't say it- "pro-family" is the term they use. But their logo is a dove. Only two types of groups use the dove as a symbol- anti-war groups... and Christians. And they did this. I'm about to have a Dean moment.

Then there's this from their web site:

THE DOVE FOUNDATION is a non-profit organization established to encourage and promote the creation, production and distribution of wholesome family entertainment. The Foundation, free from commercial pressures, awards a blue and white Dove Seal to any movie or video that is rated "family-friendly" by its film review board... The Dove Foundation is working with the entertainment industry to help them identify and serve people who are eager to watch high quality, wholesome movies. The Dove Seal makes it easy for customers to identify titles that are safe for family viewing. Consumers are casting their votes for "family-friendly" movies by choosing titles that display the Dove Seal.

At first, this sounds really good. Before we take the boys to see some movies, we'll hit the Screen It site and check out their description of the movie. (They're a little obsessive- they catch every nitpicky detail.) So, having reviews of movies sounds like a really good thing, right? Well, then I found this on their product page:

Clean Up on these great films that have been edited to remove graphic violence, sex and language. Each of the DVDs in this category has been awarded the Dove "Family Edited" Seal of approval.

That is just wrong. For whatever reason, the film makers put that stuff in there. I'm not a "let's support the arts- no matter what" kind of person, and many films are far from art, but... how would certain bloggers (who shall remain nameless) found out that someone had taken their posts, editted them to take out all of the colorful invective, and then reposted them (but gave the original writer credit- while pointing out their implied moral inferiority by editting their work)? I'm thinking there would be much wailing and nashing of teeth. I'm very surprised that the studios allow them to sell edited versions of the films. (Oh, wait... it's about money. Film makers will care, not the studios. Oh, well...)

That isn't going to change the movie industry. They'll just keep making the movies with graphic violence, sex and language. And you'll keep buying them, editing them, and reselling them. Nothing will ever change.

What about financing good quality movies for kids? How about supporting the films that Hollywood makes that are good and wholesome and worth seeing? If Hollywood sees that there is a market, they'll make more. It's the way the marketplace works.

OK, all that being said, I did find one good thing on their site- the Children's Hospital Movie Channel.

Most people agree that daytime network television consists mostly of "soap operas" and adult-theme talk shows. It is also generally acknowledged that this type of programming is unsuitable for young children. Recently, Dick Rolfe, Chairman and Founder of The Dove Foundation was quoted on the front page of USA Today, calling for the television networks to "clean up their houses." Most parents can screen what their children watch in the home. However, there is a very large population (800,000) that is a captive audience of this programming, with few options to choose from; the children in our nation's hospitals.

Entertainment is an important escape for these unfortunate youngsters, especially during such trying times. Hospital staffs rarely have the time or resources necessary to protect the children from unsavory television programming. While many hospitals offer alternatives such as premium cable channels, they are usually available to patients for a fee not covered by insurance. The program content on many of these cable channels is also questionable where children are concerned, leaving them in need of more appropriate programming. In some cases, where video libraries are available, hospital staffs complain that the tapes and VCR’s are frequently lost, stolen or damaged. Videos are occasionally donated by well-meaning family members or friends. These tapes are usually not screened, and are often unsuitable for their intended audience; sick, traumatized young children.

So, the Dove Foundation started the CHMC " To provide wholesome, uplifting movies to patients in every children's hospital in America. This entertainment is free to the patient and will be shown on a dedicated channel on the TV in their rooms." We've all seen the trash that passes as daytime TV, and I'm even including talk shows like Oprah in that. Kids don't need to be watching that. So, to me, this is a very good thing, something I could support (as long as they don't show the edited movies, but I digress.)

But, it still bugs me that this organization, which does a lot of good for kids, had to resort to such deceptive means for their survey. And, I can't help but wonder (my glass-half-full-and-filling attitude abruptly ends when it comes to telemarketers, door-to-door salesmen, and anyone who says "I'm not trying to sell you anything.") if, at the end of that "survey," there wouldn't have been a pitch to buy some of their videos. I'm glad I hung up when I did. That would have not been pretty.

Is anyone else bothered by the new What-a-Burger commercial? The one with the dancing hot dog.

I'll admit it. I'm a marketing person's worse nightmare. I am just as likely (if not more so) to not patronize a business or purchase a product because of a bad commercial as I am to patronize a business or pruchase a product because of a well-made commercial. Case in point- I may never eat at Quizno's ever again. Why? Singing mutant demonic hamsters.

And, to be fair, I'm not a huge What-a-Burger fan to begin with. They have good burgers. I'm not saying they don't. But, the closest WaB to our house is across the street from a Wendy's, the place with my favorite fries and some pretty good food. So, they'd probably lose that battle anyway.

But... well... now every time I drive past that WaB, there will be this brief flash of an image in my mind. An image of a dancing hot dog, slapping the back of his... bun? And then there's the hot dog saying (Seductively is what I think they were going for) "Chili." Nope. Not very appetizing.

Found some Valentine's Day Trivia at Strange Cosmos. Some of this is kind of interesting.

• About three percent of pet owners give Valentine's Day gifts to their pets. (been talking to my mom again, haven't you?)
• One-third of all Valentine's Day cards are accompanied by gifts. (the good ones?)
• Hallmark has more than 1,330 different cards specifically for Valentine's Day. (go figure!)
  
• About one quarter of Valentine's Day cards have humorous messages. (I like those!)
  
• American women say they'd rather receive chocolate than flowers on Valentine's Day. (Do I really have to explain why? Chocolate releases some of the same chemical compounds in the brain as certain drugs. And it's legal. Flowers smell nice- if you're not allergic to them. That being said... if I could only choose one, I'm not sure which one I'd pick. hmmm.)
  
• Teachers will receive the most Valentine's Day cards, followed by children, mothers, wives, and sweethearts. (maybe because guys would rather receive "gifts" on that other holiday. You know, the one in March. And... uh... that one's not quite PG-13. You've been warned.)
• About one billion Valentine's Day cards are exchanged each year. The holiday is second only to Christmas in terms of the number of cards sent. (Yet another reason why guys hate this "holiday." Forcing romance on the unsuspecting public in order to sell cards? Mean. Just plain mean.)
• The celebration of Valentine's Day can be traced to the ancient Roman holiday of the Lupercal, which honored Lupercus the Lycaean, who protected flocks of sheep from wolves. (So, to honor Lupercal, you make all the "wolves" buy chocolate and roses and little trinkets for the the poor innocent sheep? The sheep must have come up with this one.)
• Seventy percent of those celebrating Valentine's Day show their affection by giving a card. Others make a telephone call (49 percent), give a gift (48 percent), plan a special dinner (37 percent), give candy (33 percent), have a meal in a restaurant (30 percent), or give flowers (19 percent). (Make a phone call? Obviously they live far, far away, because no guy living in the same town as his sweetheart would be that... stupid, would they?)
• Pope Gelasius declared February 14 to be Saint Valentine's Day in 498 A.D. (But don't blame poor Gelasius. It's not his fault it's gone nuts. I mean, we don't celebrate St. Blaise's feast day. I guess there's no market for blessing the throat... In case you're wondering if I've completely flipped my lid, I brought up St. Blaise for a reason. Every year, at the Catholic school I went to, they did the Blessing of St. Blaise on St. Valentine's Day, but his feast day is actually on Feb 3rd. I didn't know this until I started writing this. I smell a conspiracy of some sort.)
• Richard Cadbury invented the first Valentine's Day candy box in the late 1800s. (So, gang, I guess we can blame him for this. That man has a lot to answer for- Valentine's Day... those nasty Easter eggs... but the Cadbury Bunny commercials are cute.)
• The Italian city of Verona, where Shakespeare's lovers Romeo and Juliet lived, receives about 1,000 letters addressed to Juliet every Valentine's Day. (uh... she's a fictional chara... never mind. It's not even worth it.)
• The Chocolate Manufacturers Association of America says 36 million boxes of chocolate are sold for Valentine's Day. (and Weight Watchers says it has a 10 percent jump in memberships on or about Feb 17th.)
• About 110 million roses, most of them red, will be sold for Valentine's Day this year. (Because black roses would just be wrong.)
• Alexander Graham Bell applied for his patent on the telephone, an "improvement in telegraphy," on Valentine's Day, 1876. (And parents became yelling "Get off the phone!" shortly thereafter.)
• Valentine's Day was originally associated with the mating season of birds. (Awww... that's so sweet... isn't that what I'm supposed to say?)
• Fifteen percent of women in the United States send themselves flowers on Valentine's Day. (That's just sad. I mean, is because their SO's are slugs and forgot? Or, is it because they don't have an SO, but they want everyone to think they do? Either one is... just sad.)
• During Abraham Lincoln's campaign for President, a Democrat named Valentine Tapley swore he would never shave again if Abe were elected. Tapley kept his word and his chin whiskers went unshaved from November 1860 until he died in 1910, attaining a length of 12 feet six inches. (Nice to know that Democrat's haven't changed over the years. They still throw temper tantrums if they don't get their way. Except now, they move to Canada.)
• Americans spend $655 million each Valentine's Day on candy, making it the fourth biggest holiday of the year for confectionery purchases, after Halloween, Christmas and Easter (in that order). (And the American Dental Association is both appalled and strangely excited by that fact.)
• In the U.S., it's estimated that 64 percent of men do not make plans in advance for Valentine's Day. (Only 64 percent? Surprising. Doesn't quite fit the stereotype, does it?)
• During Victorian times, it was considered bad luck to sign a Valentine's Day card. (Bad luck? So, they unintentionally invented the Secret Admirer. And the Stalker.)
• Eighty percent of all Valentine cards are purchased for relatives. (Really? That's sweet. I mean it this time.)

Well, guys, this was your last subtle hint. If you haven't bought a gift (or even a card) for your sweetheart, you're running out of time.

(Ok... I'm going to copy this onto my hard drive before I publish it this time... just to be safe...)

Looks like some Evangelicals are climbing on the Environmentalist bandwagon. Wait... that's not fair... that either makes "them" look like whackos or "us" look like selfish pigs. Well... just... here:

Thanks to the Rev. Leroy Hedman, the parishioners at Georgetown Gospel Chapel take their baptismal waters cold. The preacher has unplugged the electricity-guzzling heater in the immersion baptism tank behind his pulpit. He has also installed energy-saving fluorescent light bulbs throughout the church and has placed water barrels beneath its gutter pipes - using runoff to irrigate the congregation's all-organic gardens.

Well, Rev... I'm with you... all except the baptismal tank. Don't unplug it- turn down the thermostat, or, better yet, install some photovoltaic cells and power it yourself. But, cold baptism? No thanks- not unless it's in a river. Then it's all good.

Such "creation care" should be at the heart of evangelical life, Hedman says, along with condemning abortion, protecting family and loving Jesus. He uses the term "creation care" because, he says, it does not annoy conservative Christians for whom the word "environmentalism" connotes liberals, secularists and Democrats.

You're right, but... ew. "Creation care"? What is it with Evangelicals needing to find cute little labels to distinguish themselves from everyone else? That sounds so... cheesy. How about something more cerebral, like "Biblical Conservation" or "Biblical Environmentalism"? If your goal was to not annoy conservative Christians, you blew it with this one.

"The environment is a values issue," said the Rev. Ted Haggard, president of the 30 million-member National Association of Evangelicals. "There are significant and compelling theological reasons why it should be a banner issue for the Christian right."

Why does it have to be a "banner issue"? Why does everything have to be an issue? Why can't we take care of the Earth because it's the right thing to do? Why do we need to wrap it up in a cause or a banner? Oh, to be like Nike™- "Just do it!"

"We affirm that God-given dominion is a sacred responsibility to steward the earth and not a license to abuse the creation of which we are a part," said the "Evangelical Call to Civic Responsibility" statement, which has been distributed to 50,000 member churches.

That is so true. God gave us dominion over creation. "God spoke: 'Let us make human beings in our image, make them reflecting our nature so they can be responsible for the fish in the sea, the birds in the air, the cattle, and, yes, Earth itself, and every animal that moves on the face of Earth.' "'(Gen. 1:26). We have a moral and spiritual obligation not to waste the gift that God gave us. On the other hand, we also have the God-given right to use the gift.

"Because clean air, pure water, and adequate resources are crucial to public health and civic order, government has an obligation to protect its citizens from the effects of environmental degradation."

The government? I guess, if everyone would follow the guide of a Higher Moral Authority, then the government wouldn't have to step in. But, even in this world where many choose not to look to a Higher Power, I have trouble with the government providing anything but the bare minimum of regulation. (That whole "power corrupts" thing)

Also last fall, Christianity Today, an influential evangelical magazine, weighed in for the first time on global warming. It said that "Christians should make it clear to governments and businesses that we are willing to adapt our lifestyles and support steps towards changes that protect our environment."

Noooooo! Not global warming! Along with the gifts that God gave us, one of them was a brain. In spite of what some people might think, Christians think for ourselves, and we have the obligation to research and develop informed opinions. And, let's face it- global warming is just a theory. Not even a sound theory. There is just as much evidence that humanity is the only thing holding back an Ice Age. So... before I buy into it, you're going to have to prove it. (Hint- ain't gonna happen.)

"There is a lot of suspicion (of environmentalists by evangelicals-B)," said Schweiger (president of the National Wildlife Federation-B.), who describes himself as a conservationist and a person of faith. "There are a lot of questions about what are our real intentions."

Ya think? I know that all environmentalists aren't complete whackos, but organizations like ALF and ELF have done a really good job of giving them a bad name. Christians, as a rule, have this problem with using terrorism in order to push an agenda. (And, for my moonbat readers- all three of you- don't even bring up war- apples and oranges, people. Apples and oranges.)

Green (a pollster-B) said the evangelicals' deep suspicion about environmentalists has theological roots. "While evangelicals are open to being good stewards of God's creation, they believe people should only worship God, not creation," Green said. "This may sound like splitting hairs. But evangelicals don't see it that way. Their stereotype of environmentalists would be Druids who worship trees."

When some (not all, maybe not even the majority, but...) environmentalists see humanity as a virus on the face of the Earth that needs to be destroyed, it makes people nervous. And, let's face it- when you take out the "normal" people who have been scared into environmental extremism by propaganda, you're left with a core group who are probably more likely to worship Gaia or plants and trees and rocks or nothing at all than to worship The Creator. Just the way it is. Christians believe that humanity has dominion over God's creation, not the other way around. It's not to be worshipped- it's to be cherished. There is a difference.

Another problem, besides that whole worshipping Mother Earth thing, that many Evangelicals have with the "evangelical environmentalism" movement is the people who are leading the charge (no offense- I'm sure Rev. Hedman is a great guy.) One leader cited in the article is Rev. Jim Ball, executive director of the Evangelical Environmental Network. You might remember him from the (in)famous "What Would Jesus Drive?" anti-SUV campaign. It was so very over the top that I can't help but think that, instead of challenging the average Christian to rethink some of their habits, they only stoked the flame within the already converted. He was preaching to his own choir. Instead of inciting change, his campaign became the topic of many, many jokes (very funny. really-B). (Personally, I think Jesus would drive one of those big ole 15 passenger vans. I don't have any Scripture to back it up- just a sneaking suspicion that a van would make it easier to keep the apostles together.)

He adds that evangelicals themselves - not such groups as the Sierra Club or Friends of the Earth, with their liberal Democratic baggage - are the only ones who can do the persuading. "Environmental groups are always going to be viewed in a wary fashion," Ball said. "They just don't have a good enough feel for the evangelical community. There are landmines from the past, and they will hit them without knowing it."

He's got a point. But I'm not sure any of these well-meaning people realize what one of those "landmines" is. Many conservatives (Christian or not) see environmentalists as... well... obsessed. They are viewed as being all-or-nothing, solely focused on saving the Earth to the exclusion of everything else. And that's just not something that we're comfortable with. If you want to sway us at all, you can't make demands, and you can't expect us to change everything, just because you said so. It's not the way we work (or, at least, it's not the way I work).

But, that does not negate the fact that we, as Christians, do have the Biblical command to be good stewards of God's creation. It's not a sin to use what God gave us (Rev. Hendan won't be sinning by turning the water heater back on... really), but it is a sin to waste His precious gift. And it doesn't have to be Big Things ™ - you don't have to go off the grid or take ice cold showers or stop using toilet paper (if you don't know what I'm talking about, scroll down a bit.) If everyone does a little bit, we leave the world a little better than when we got here. Turn down the thermostat on the heater (or up on the a/c) a degree or two, turn down (not, off!) the hot water heater, use organic material on your yard and in the garden (especially if you're growing food!), recycle, use rain barrels to water your lawn if it's feasible, and, for goodness sake, turn off the frickin' lights when you leave a room!

And, in all honesty, if I had my dream house on a little bit of land, I'd probably do even more, and not just because I'm trying to be all environmentally friendly. Some of these things just make fiscal sense (which is also being a good steward). I'd install photovoltaic cells on the roof, and attic fans and better insulation (I've seen our electric bill in August!). I'd plant xerascapes (to save water).I'd look into green building techniques. It just makes sense.

And, that's the point. We need to do things that make sense. Going off the deep end isn't any more Scriptural than intentionally wasting natural resources.

If you had stopped by earlier today, you would have read a brilliant post on Evangelical Christians becoming involved in the environmentalist movement. It was full of insightful, intriguing commentary. I'm sorry you missed it.

You see, in the process of correcting a typo, I managed to erase the whole thing. I might re-write it. Or I might just go bang my head against a wall for a while.

Well, it's nice to know that Democrats can do something well. They're really good at scaring people.

A new organization led by mothers opposed to the re-institution of a military draft will open its doors next week.

Mothers Against the Draft is the latest group to use the acronym MAD, but this time it's women who see a new wave of conscription in the U.S. just as dangerous to their children as drunk drivers.

And where would these moms get the idea that the US might reinstitute the draft? Hmmm... where have I heard that before? No, wait... don't tell me... oh, right! Charles Rangel (D-NY) introduced a bill last fall, a bill which was soundly defeated in the House (2 people voted for it). The Democrats, at the same time, started a rumor campaign that President Bush wanted to reinstate the draft, hoping to scare people.

Rep. Sheila Jackson-Lee, Texas Democrat, said, "There is a secret plan for a draft."

Ok, that wasn't so much a rumor as an out-and-out lie. But, evidently, it worked.

Despite the overwhelming defeat of the bill, Mothers Against the Draft says that since the Armed Forces are "seriously overstretched," a new draft will become necessary to continue supplying personnel "to keep pace with current military demands." MAD, however, is resolute in stopping any new attempt to resurrect conscription.

So, I guess what Congress and the military says means nothing to these women.

Rep. Duncan Hunter, California Republican and chairman of the House Armed Services Committee, said the Defense Department and other military experts have told him that a draft is simply not necessary.
"We don't need a draft," he said, adding that Democrats have been trying to scare people and that yesterday's (Oct. 5, 2004) vote "may be the only way to put that to bed."

The military has repeated said that it doesn't want a draft. They don't want people who have to be forced to serve. That's why it's called an "all volunteer service."

Saying America's armed forces today are more professional and efficient because they are comprised of people who have chosen to join, the official said military leaders are "horrified by Mr. Rangel's proposal to return to the days when people were forced to serve."

So, if all of the evidence says that Congress, the military, and President Bush don't want to reinstate the draft, why in the world would these women feel the need to start this organization? Well... this little tidbit from their website might shed a little light on that:

Either Congress must immediately re-evaluate our foreign policy and reduce our overseas military commitments, thereby decreasing the number of troops that are needed, or conscript our sons and daughters. There simply aren't any other choices.

Unfortunately, there is no sign from Congress that they intend to reduce our military entanglements and the President's inaugural address brings little hope for a less aggressive or expansive foreign policy.

They claim to be mothers and grandmothers from the Left, Right, and everywhere in between. For some reason, maybe because I'm a mom from the Right, and I know mothers and grandmothers from the Right, I can't help but imagine that this organization leans just a little to the Left.

Ladies, no one wants a draft. Congress knows that. The President knows that. My kids even know that. If you're against the President's foreign policy, then just say so. Don't follow in the Democrat's footsteps, scaring people and spreading rumors that you know are outright lies.

A couple of days ago, I told you about the Virginia State House of Delegates passing a bill that made showing one's underwear a crime. Well... someone got a clue.

A panel of disapproving Senators voted unanimously to can the bill Thursday with a few tsk-tsks and stern speeches. Sen. Kenneth W. Stolle, R-Virginia Beach, chairman of the Senate Courts of Justice Committee, said he called a special meeting to hear the measure because it had become a distraction and he wanted to dispense with it quickly.

“I think that bill is an embarrassment to Virginia, nationally and internationally,” he said. “I wanted to stop the embarrassment.”

Other Senators questioned the constitutionality of the bill, and one attributed the bill to Delegate Howell's (who introduced the bill) inexperience (this is his first - and last?- term).

One interesting (and pleasant) side effect to this whole fiasco is that it sparked interest in politics for a group of kids.

Nearly 75 teenagers from Surr y County High School crowded into the meeting room to watch the vote. None asked to speak, but several said after the meeting that they were glad the droopy-drawers bill had been dropped.

They thought that the bill was targeting young people (which...well... it was- I don't see many 50 year-old men wearing baggies- maybe I just don't get out enough). I applaud them for going to the meeting. They learned something. That's never a bad thing.

So... maybe the House's lunacy wasn't so bad after all.

Remember back when you were in school, and a couple of kids were really acting up, and because of them, your entire class missed out on something cool? Well, Raven Furbert knows how you feel.

Twelve-year-old Raven Furbert insists the beaded necklace shows her support for the troops. School administrators say regardless of what the necklace means, the beads are not allowed.

For Raven, every day is a chance to be patriotic. Her uncle, J.D. Barnes, is serving in Iraq. So she made a red, white and blue beaded necklace to express her patriotism and her support for the troops....

...The school's code of conduct states student's jewelry "will be safe, appropriate and not...interfere with the educational process." It also says "students will not wear any clothing deemed to be gang related."

OK... let me fill in a few blanks for you. The school district's code of conduct says "no clothing deemed gang related" - ie. wearing "colors." No bandanas, etc. to signify a gang affiliation. What to do, what to do if you're an up-and-coming hoodlum. Oh, wait! I know... make a little bracelet or a necklace out of cheap plastic beads you can pick up at Walmart. They won't notice a little piece of jewelry, right?

Wrong. A while back, law enforcement and "gang specialists" informed the school district that, in certain parts of town (ie- The Hood), the beads were being used as identifiers. So, cute little plastic jewelry goes on the "ban" list.

Fast forward to Raven. She doesn't know about any of this. She's not in a gang. She's a good kid. She just wants to honor her uncle and support the troops. So, she makes a nice necklace. Sounds like a plan, right?

Wrong. She broke the rules. She didn't know it, but she did. She didn't do it in the gang-bang spirit, but she did it, non-the-less.

Because a bunch of bad-@ss wannabes, she gets in trouble. (Ok- not big trouble- she was just asked to take off the necklace.) The school district has no problem with her showing her patriotism, just not with little plastic beads. She can wear a t-shirt, wear a flag necklace or pin- just no plastic beads.

Her lawyer is filing a federal lawsuit against the school district is violating her First Amendment rights. They were on Hannity and Colmes, arguing their case. So was the school district. Sorry, Sean and Alan (who, remarkably, were on the same side this time), but you're wrong.

The school district has a moral and legal obligation to protect the students. If they have credible evidence that those stupid little plastic beads are being used as gang tags (and, evidently, one gang uses red, and the other blue- how convenient), then they have to ban them. They have to do their best to get the gangs out of the school.

They're going to take this to court (sadly.) Raven will still not get to wear her necklace (which really is a pity- it's a nice necklace- she did a good job). All because of a bunch of kids who probably don't even care about the people Raven was trying to honor.

Daphne Zuniga, actress and moonbat extraordinaire, is upset with the media for not reporting the real news- that endangered forests are being slaughtered... to make toilet paper.

"I think there is a dummy-down bias (in the media) frankly," said Daphne Zuniga, who starred in the television series "Melrose Place."

Well, Daphne, I'll have to agree with you there. The media does tend to dumb things down, but that's so that all the kids' who graduate from high school with a third-grade reading level can understand. Wouldn't help to use the really big words and confuse them, now, would it?

"The press is reporting things that are absolutely irrelevant to any of our lives and they are sensationalistic and it is damaging," Zuniga told Cybercast News Service.... "We start to think that these things are important, like [the rape trial of NBA star] Kobe Bryant and [the molestation trial of] Michael Jackson and yada, yada..."

Dagnabit. I really hate it when I get this far into a Fisking and can't say that I disagree with the Fiskee. I despise the tabloid mentality of the press. Did they really have to take Don Henley's "Dirty Laundry" as an anthem to be idolized? The nightly news, at times, is nothing more than the Jerry Springer Show with better wardrobe.

"...and meanwhile, you know, endangered forests are being slaughtered for toilet paper, you know, sequoias -- whatever it is," Zuniga told Cybercast News Service.

Woohoo! Here we go. Daphne, you know, if you're going to make accusations like that, you should really think about getting your facts straight (or at least know what you're talking about - "whatever it is"???). Sequoias are not used to make paper of any kind. Softwood trees on tree farms are used, and for every tree cut down, up to 5 more are planted. (There are more trees in the continental United States now than there was when the Pilgrims landed.) And toilet paper companies are also using recycled paper in the production of T.P. We are not killing off endangered forests for our creature comforts.

According to Zuniga, "One out of six women are toxic with mercury. Mercury comes out of coal plants and chlorine plants. I am toxic, I deal with symptoms, children are born with, you know, autism -- there is an epidemic in this country. This is like, the air that we breath," Zuniga said.

This is, like, a crock. Yes, mercury is deadly, and there is a link between mercury poisoning and autism. But, what Daphne really wants is to close all the coal-fire power plants. The problem with that? DoE estimates that by doing that, you would cut world-wide mercury levels by a couple of percentage points at best. And then there is the fact that Daphne doesn't actually believe facts when presented to her.

When asked about a series of new scientific studies showing that U.S. coal-fired power plants emit less than one percent of the world's mercury output, Zuniga responded, "That is false, it is not one percent.

"We (the U.S.) have a large percentage of the pollution...We have to be more responsible, we have more resources, and we use more and more," she added.

Yeah, yeah... I know... the big bad US of A has made the world all dirty. We use up all the goodies. (Uh... just wondering... if we hadn't used those resources, would someone else?) Everyone knows we use a lot of resources. Everyone knows we pollute. Everyone who studies science knows that we are not the cause of all the world's ills.

Oh, wait! What's that? Some scientific study that Daphne hasn't bothered reading (or, if she read it, either didn't understand it or didn't believe it)?

The studies by the Center for Science and Public Policy (CSPP) also revealed that mercury emissions from Yellowstone National Park and other natural sources are significantly higher than the amount coming from the 1,100 coal-fired power plants in the U.S.

In addition, mercury levels in the atmosphere may have been higher before the advent of coal fired power plants.

"This hypothesis appears supported by the presence of higher levels of mercury in 550-year-old Alaskan mummies than levels in a recent sample of pregnant native Alaskan women," said Robert Ferguson, in an interview with Cybercast News Service . Ferguson is the executive director of the CSPP, a public policy research group based in Washington, D.C.

If she's truly toxic, maybe she should go to the dentist. Some studies show that by removing amalgam filling you can cut mercury poisoning symptoms by up to 80%.

But, you know what? She's just another moonbat. I could have just blown her off, like I do most other celebrities. But, then, she had to say this:

"I met a congressperson today and I am getting interested in coming to the hill to express my issues, which are environmental mostly, but also [First] Amendment," Zuniga said. She said mercury emissions were her key environmental concern.

You have no idea how much that upsets me. Just because she's a celebrity, she thinks she has the right to just march up to the Hill and express her issues. And what makes me even madder is that, because of her celebrity status, she just might get up there. But we Average Joes don't usually get that opportunity. She's a total airhead flake, and she can go up there, whereas us normal folks can only make phone calls and send letters. I'm not saying that phone calls and letter writing is a bad thing- I'm saying that it makes Congress look like a bunch of dunces to have all these celebrities, who probably only know what they've been told by some special interest group, come to Committee meetings for testimony. Why can't they get "normal citizens"... like, me, maybe... who actually take the time to do a little research to come up and give testimony?

OK... granted, all celebrities who "testify before Congress" or become spokespersons for this or that aren't completely clueless. They take time to learn their subject matter... or they've gone through it themselves. Names like Christopher Reeve, Bob Dole, Lance Armstrong, Robert Urich come to mind. And Fran Drescher.

Drescher, who has been treated for uterine cancer, also promoted her efforts to increase public awareness of gynecological cancers.

"Johanna's Law is coming up for vote [in Congress]. It is an education bill for informing women and their doctors about gynecological cancers, the early warning symptoms and the tests that are available," Drescher said. "It took me two years and eight doctors to get diagnosed," she added.

If you've gone through what Ms. Drescher has gone through, then you have the "expertise" to talk about it. If you've done the research, asked questions and received informed answers, then you can talk about it. (I wish Ms. Drescher the best of luck with her cancer treatment/ recovery.)

If it makes you feel all warm and fuzzy and important to spout off about things you obviously know little or nothing about, do us all a favor, and don't.

It's all Lance Armstrong's fault. He started it with his LiveStrong bracelets. And, in the past year, everyone's been caught up into the act. Spending less than 5 minutes on the internet (I timed myself) I found the following wristbands:

• tobacco-free kids (red)
• AIDS/Lifecycle (orange)
• malpractice reform (red)
• ProLife (royalblue)
• Cardinal Charities (red)
• Make Poverty History (white)
• Operation Homefront (red)
  
• Muscular Dystrophy (green)
  
• Cystic Fibrosis Society (blue)
• Life Without Lupus (orange)
• CS Mott Children's Hospital (blue)
  
• Breast Cancer Research (pink)
• USO (green)
  
• Think Autism (blue)
• Lupus (purple)
  
• My Soldier (red)
• Bush and Kerry campaigns (red or blue)
• Red States (red- duh)
• Blue States (blue- geez)
• I did not vote for Bush (black)

Then there's this site that offers ... well... a lot of different wrist bands (didn't feel like counting them). And, if you can't find one that fits your charity or cause, then you can always make your own.

These wristbands have become the new ribbons. Do you even remember how the ribbon thing got started? It was back in the early 90s, when performers began wearing them at awards ceremonies. It became all the rage, and soon there was a ribbon campaign for every cause. Rush even made a point of wearing a bunch of ribbons during one of his tv shows, to show his solidarity with everything. (In the spirit of full disclosure, I have several ribbons on the back of my van- all in support of the US and our troops.)

Do the ribbons work? Do they really alert people to specific causes? I think they did, back when there were only a few. Everyone knows that the red one is AIDS awareness, and the pink one is breast cancer research. The yellow ribbon goes back to that Tony Orlando and Dawn song. (I have issues with a song about a guy coming home from prison being connected with our soldiers,but the yellow ribbon has come to mean a longing for your loved one to return. And no one asked me). But the rest of the rainbow? Haven't a clue.

Will the wristbands work? Well, they will do one thing (short term) that the ribbons did not. When you buy a band (except the ones you make for yourself), part of the proceeds go to the charity/cause. So, you're actively giving them money. And, they are the "In" thing right now, so a bunch of charities will benefit from their sale. But... will they spread awareness? Lance's did. I'm not sure if the rest will be so lucky.

I would really love to have some of these wristbands. And I'd wear them. But... you can't wear 'em all at the same time. I mean... you'd get to the point where you wouldn't be able to bend your arm.

UPDATE:
Terry pointed out (in the comments) that I missed one. The National Multiple Sclerosis Society has their Hope Band. And that made me think of the National Kidney Foundation. I looked - they don't have a band. What's up with that?

Several days ago, I saw Art Linkletter on Neil Cavuto's show on FoxNews. He was amazing.

During the interview, the 93-year-old conservative Linkletter touted the importance of Social Security reform with personal retirement accounts and went on to call the AARP, which opposes President Bush's reform plan, "the largest liberal lobbying group in Washington."

The United Seniors Association, of which Mr. Linkletter is the National Chair, is starting a full-court press against the AARP.

"USA Next Stop Scaring Seniors NOW!" -- a campaign focusing on the AARP and the alleged damage it has done and continues to do to America.

I'm glad there is an alternative for seniors to the AARP. I know they have my grandmother scared half to death.

I think it's funny when people try to say there is no crisis. Then why did President Clinton want major reforms in Social Security? Why, in 1999, did Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid say that he agreed with the idea of putting a portion of SS into the private sector? And why did FDR say this back in 1935?

In a written statement to Congress in 1935, Roosevelt said that any Social Security plans should include, "Voluntary contributory annuities, by which individual initiative can increase the annual amounts received in old age," adding that government funding, "ought to ultimately be supplanted by self-supporting annuity plans."

When President Clinton was in office, Democrats were talking about the Social Security crisis. What has happened in the last few years? Did they overhaul the system while we weren't looking?

Oh, wait. I remember now. They wanted to overhaul it when Clinton would get the credit. Now that President Bush is calling for reforms, they're against it, not because it won't work, but because they are against him in principle.

I'd at least like the OPTION of having Social Security when I'm old and gray(er). Reform it. Now.

I guess these folks don't live in a neighborhood with a Home Owners' Association:

If you can't tell what's in the photo, it's a soldier's uniform, hanging from a noose. The sign reads "Your Tax Dollars at Work."

They (the home owners) released a statement saying, "There will always be people who are offended by political speech, and the most important forum of all ... is one's own residence. The First Amendment is meaningless unless dissent is allowed."

Yes, it makes me sick. No, I don't understand these people. But it's their right to voice their political views. It was dissent just like this that the First Amendment was written for.

So, I hate what they said. I don't agree with them. But I defend their right to say it.

Well, Guys, can any of you tell me what Monday is? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

Well, it's Valentine's Day, also known in many circles as Hallmark™ and Jewelers' Appreciation Day. This is the day when you pledge your undying love to your significant other and go into debt buying that special little trinket for her.

So, as a service to my male readers, here are some Valentine's Day DON'Ts (found, of course, at Strange Cosmos):

Top 10 Valentine's DON'Ts by Christian Finnegan

#1- DON'T tell your girlfriend that this has been “one of the best” Valentine’s you’ve ever had. She won’t see that as a compliment.

#2- DON'T celebrate your special night by ordering tequila shots – Valentine’s is already poignant enough without inviting Jose Cuervo to the party! Angry shouting and upchucking that expensive dinner you paid for do not a romantic evening make.

#3- DON'T try to “avoid the rush.” There’s no such thing as a romantic 4:00 PM dinner (unless you’re over 65).

#4- DON'T try to slip how much you spent on her gift into the conversation. She already know the going rate for cubic zirconia, dude.

#5- DON'T Forget to compliment your wife or girlfriend on her Valentine’s ensemble. Compliment her dress, her hair, her shoes, her nails, her makeup, her jewelry, her fingers, her toes, her kneecaps, her kidneys, etc. Just keep complimenting

#6- DON'T willingly engage in any conversation during which your wife/girlfriend addresses you by your real name. If she calls you “Honey,” or “Sweetheart,” or even “Papi,” you’re good to go. But any conversation that starts with “Michael, I need to ask you a question…” is a potential minefield.

#7- DON'T take your Valentine to an NC-17 movie, even if it’s foreign and/or artsy. On a night like this, the only naked body you should be admiring is hers.

#8- DON'T be your usual, too-cool-to-wear-nice-clothes self. No need to buy a new suit, but come on man – maybe tonight isn’t the night for your “ironic” Dukes of Hazard t-shirt.

#9- DON'T order tequila shots. Do you hear me? I’m not kidding about this!

#10- DON'T play mood music that’s sexier than you are. If you’re not 100% certain you can provide genuine “sexual healing,” leave Marvin Gaye up on the shelf. Every man’s got to know his limitations.

Just trying to help!

This Friday night, the boys' elementary school will have its annual Valentines' Dinner and Dance. Open to the whole family, it's supposed to be a cute intro into the world of school dances. To help prepare the young skulls full of mush for their impending doom, they spend weeks of PE time learning how to dance.

Couples dancing. Box step. Maybe a waltz (I'm not sure.) Younger kids learn stuff like the Cotton Eyed Joe or the Virginia Reel.

Am I the only one who has a problem with this? I don't want my eleven year old boys dancing with a girl in PE- I want them beaning someone with a dodgeball. (Oh, wait... they can't do that, can they?) Tax payer dollars are being spent so that my kids can say "eewww" and dance with a girl. How sweet!

I also have a problem with some of the school dances. They start, in earnest, in 6th grade. I'm sorry. Sixth graders do NOT need to be going to dances. They are just discovering that the opposite sex is not totally evil. Why pressure them like this?

For two years, the boys' football team would practice at the middle school. Every year, we'd see the kids filing into the school for the school dances. I could not believe it. The girls... the way they were dressed... Brittney and Christina wanna-bes. I'm not sure what bothered me more- the idea of a sixth graders having a dance, or the fact that parents let their kids dress like that!

True story. In high school, I saw this really cute outfit, and I talked my dad into buying it for me. Well... I put it on and tried to walk out of the house with it... didn't happen. Once he saw it on me, he said "no way." I was so mad at the time, but now I'm grateful for his patience and persistence. I just wish more parents felt that way.

I cannot categorically state that my children will not go to any dances while they are in middle school. I can say that we'll have long talks about it. They didn't want to go to the V dance on Friday. That's a start for me.

The Virginia House of Delegates passed a bill that would outlaw showing your underwear in public.

RICHMOND, Va. The Virginia House of Delegates has tentatively approved a bill to crack down on people who wear low-riding pants. Delegates approved a measure that would allow police to assess a 50-dollar fine on anyone who exposes their underpants in a -- quote -- "lewd or indecent manner."

Norfolk Delegate Algie (AHL'-jee) Howell introduced the bill at the urging of constituents who are offended by the exposed underwear. He says he's received a lot of feedback about the issue -- mostly positive.

Yeah... it looks stupid when guys where the low-riding pants that shows their undies. And I think it's just stupid when females (usually teenage girls) wear low-cut jeans and high cut thongs (and then get mad when they're not appreciated for their brain cells.) Offensive? Eh... maybe. If you're a total prude. Make it against the law? That's just nuts. In essence, wouldn't that mean that swimsuits are illegal?

You cannot legislate morality. It just won't work. It's just going to make people mad, and I'm not necessarily talking about the kids who saved up their lunch money to buy those pants. I'm talking about the parents who forked over the cash for them... the clothing manufacturers who are just filling market demand... and the citizens of the Great State of Virginia, who will be very upset that you spent your time debating this instead of getting some real work done.

Is there nothing else going on in Virginia, that the House of Delegates has time to debate the merits of outlawing clothes? This is why State (and Federal, even) Legislatures should be part time. Then they wouldn't have time for stuff like this.

Several people let me know (through IMs and e-mails) that there was a problem accessing my blog as of late. I took out what I thought was the offending code, but that didn't help.

So, I called the Blog Doctor. Didn't take him long to figure out the problem. One of my posts had 4400 unnecessary HTML tags. (No, I didn't put them there- I have no idea how they got there). So, Russ cleaned up the bug-droppings, and it's all nice and pretty again.

When I told Hubby what was going on, he asked me how much it would cost to get off of blogspot and onto something else. Dunno... need to look into that.

So... many many many thanks to Russ for coming to the rescue (again!). He has helped a lot of bloggers recently, and the VRWC just wouldn't look as nice or run as smoothly in cyberspace without him. You know, I'll be in deep trouble if that man ever decides to start charging by the hour for his HTML expertise.

UPDATE: Russ informs me that there were almost 9000 bad tags... 4400 of which were font tags. Geeeez.

Yeah, I'm probably being nitpicky, but...

A mother has made medical history by giving birth to twins two months apart, it was revealed today. She gave birth to baby Catalin in December and his brother Valentin 59 days later.

As soon as I found out that I was pregnant twins (long ago, in a galaxy far, far away), I went to the library and grabbed every book on twins and pregnancy. So... as I read the article, I'm trying to anticipate the science behind the story. My guess? Fraternal twins, two amniotic sacs...

Well, not quite...

Dr. Dragos Dragomir, the head of the maternity ward at Cuza Voda hospital, said: "What makes the case unique is that the two pregnancies evolved simultaneously, and that one of the babies was born without affecting the other." ...He said one in every 50,000 women has a double uterus but the hospital believed it was the first case where a woman had become pregnant at the same time in both wombs and given birth nearly two months apart.

Well, I was close. Not two sacs, but two uteruses. So... are they really twins? I mean... with fraternal twins, 2 (or more) eggs are released at the same time, and both are fertilized. Both implant in the uterus. This seems more like a case of Divine Humor that these pregnancies developed together than twins (in the classic sense.)

But, you know what? None of that really matters.

Mrs Tescu said: "I checked into hospital last week to make sure nothing would go wrong in case the baby decided to come early. I am happy that I have another healthy boy and now I am ready to go home with both of them."

The couple named the first child Catalin when he was born two months prematurely.

He was put in an incubator but doctors said this was normal for a child born so early and they now say he is completely healthy.

Catalin and Valentin are healthy and going home with Mom and Dad. Are they twins? Who cares? They'll be raised as twins. Just a very cool story.

Slagle (over at SlagleRock's Slaughterhouse) is having a contest.

After seeing his idea I thought it would be neat to have a little contest to see what different people come up with.

So, how do you get in on this silly little contest? Design your own flag that best represents the DNC. Perhaps the Donks need yellow stripes down their backs, or Frenchman kissing their asses?

So... go for it, everyone! I personally wouldn't know Photoshop if it bit me (except to enjoy the fruits of other people's labors), but I'm sure some of you are creative enough to make some great flags.

Go. Be creative or something!!!

Those fun, whacky folks in West Hollywood are at it again.

WEST HOLLYWOOD, Calif. (AP) - Leaders in this tiny city known for its progressive (read "stark raving mad liberal"- B.) views are seeking to ban cosmetic surgery - for pets.

West Hollywood's mayor plans to introduce a motion Monday that would prohibit ear cropping, tail docking, debarking, defanging and other surgical procedures performed on animals for "noncurative" reasons...Such procedures, supporters say, hurt the animals to satisfy their owners' tastes.

Cool! So they're going to ban human plastic surgery, too... right? I mean... that's almost always "noncurative" and definitely to satisfy someone's tastes.

Already law in many European countries, the ban would be the first of its kind in the United States, said Mayor John Duran.

Notice how he says that as if that's a good thing?

It's not the first time this 2-square-mile city surrounded by Los Angeles and Beverly Hills championed animal rights.... It already has laws forbidding cat declawing and designating its residents as pet guardians rather than pet owners. Last year, the city started regulating pet-grooming companies by mandating that animals have fresh water and local businesses report injuries related to grooming within 24 hours.

"Animal rights"? Please point to which section, exactly, Animal Rights appear in the Constitution. Heads up, Boys and Girls, under the law, animals have no rights, at least not in the way y'all mean. But more on that later.

"We recognize we have an opportunity to provide leadership on public policy," said City Councilman Jeffrey Prang, co-sponsor of the motion. "Somebody always has to be first. Animal welfare is something West Hollywood feels strongly about."

And I applaud your willingness to take the lead in this. Gives me hours of grins and giggles.

Mark Hiebert, head of emergency medicine and surgery at TLC Pet Medical Centers, was dismayed the city might enact another law that could infringe upon the decisions of veterinarians and pet owners.

Darla Dorr, former president of the Los Angeles Doberman Pinscher Club who has raised the dogs for 40 years, rejected the idea that ear cropping was cruel.

Given proper care, the puppies are soon "racing around the house as if nothing's been done," she said.

Dr. Heibert, how dare you think that you and members of the veterinary medicine community know more about animals and their health and care than members of the city council. I mean, really! They only doing what they know (after doing all of 37 minutes of research and listening to annecdotal evidence from members of several PETA-ish organizations) is best for our companions. And, Dr. Heibert... they're not owners, they're companions... get with the program!

If the measure passes, the city attorney will draft an ordinance that will become law 30 days after the City Council gives final approval.

As if there's any chance of someone finding a Clue™ between now and then.

Before I go any further, I'd like to point out one thing:

God spoke: "Let us make human beings in our image, make them reflecting our nature, so they can be responsible for the fish in the sea, the birds in the air, the cattle, and, yes, Earth itself, and every animal that moves on the face of Earth.... God blessed them: 'Prosper! Reproduce! Fill Earth! Take charge! Be responsible for fish in the sea and birds in the air, for every living thing that moves on the face of Earth.' "(Gen 1:26, 28 The Message Bible)

Yeah, I know... it's from that nasty, evil Bible thing. Get over it. Here's what PETA says about those verses:

Dominion is not the same as tyranny. The Queen of England has "dominion" over her subjects, but that doesn't mean she can eat them, wear them, or experiment on them. If we have dominion over animals, surely it is to protect them, not to use them for our own ends. There is nothing in the Bible that would justify our modern-day policies and programs that desecrate the environment, destroy entire species of wildlife, and inflict torment and death on billions of animals every year. The Bible imparts a reverence for life; a loving God could not help but be appalled at the way animals are being treated.

What's funny is that I agree with 2/3 of what that paragraph says. God gave us dominion, to be good stewards ( One who manages another's property, finances, or other affairs- dictionary.com) of His world. This does not mean to be wasteful, destroying it without thought. Excessive pollution is wrong, as is subjecting animals to cruel and tomenting experimentation (unless... and it's a big unless, you can prove that it will probably help save human lives). God has commanded us to be responsible for the world around us.

Where I disagree whole-heartedly is that we are not to use the plant and animal kingdom for our own ends. (There are scientists who say that plants feel pain, so...) Why else is it there? He puts all things here for a reason (I mean, if he made a fire ant...), so, I have to presume that He knew what he was doing when he made cow hide tannable and chicken and many fish and pigs and cows taste so yummy. He would have made us not want those things if he didn't want us to eat them, and he wouldn't have made our bodies need help with temperature control if He didn't want us to wear clothes.

Also, did you ever notice that the animals we eat are not endangered. Welcome to a market based economy !! The best way to save an endangered animal is to find a good recipe for it. (And, if we're eating it anyway, why not use the hides? To do otherwise is not being a wise steward, right?)

OK... back to the story... in the end, this is nothing more than a study in lunacy. Unfortunately, my desire for someone to get a Clue™ will always be just that, a desire. These are the people who believe that humanity is nothing more than a virus on the earth, inflicting disease on the Wonderful World evolution has brought into being. They are unwilling to believe that God (their version or mine or any other) would ever put US in charge.

All that said... Some of the procedures discussed are probably cruel and unnecessary. Those should be outlawed. (Technically, since there are alreadylaws against animal cruelty, wouldn't those already be against the law.) But other ones (ear cropping, declawing), if done properly, are not a big deal. But they will never believe that, because humans can't possibly do anything in an animal's best interest, right?

Hey, wait! I just figured it out. They're moonbats, right? They're probably just afraid that we'll figure out how to "fix" them, so they're trying to nip that one in the bud, so to speak.

Once again, from the gang at Strange Cosmos:

25 Thoughts to Get You Through Almost Any Situation:


1 - Indecision is the key to flexibility.
2 - You cannot tell which way the train went by looking at the track.
3 - There is absolutely no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation.
4 - Happiness is merely the remission of pain.
5 - Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
6 - Sometimes too much drink is not enough.
7 - The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant.
8 - The careful application of terror is also a form of communication.
9 - Someone who thinks logically is a nice contrast to the real world.
10- Things are more like they are today than they ever have been before.
11- Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for.
12- Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler.
13- Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
14- I have seen the truth and it makes no sense.
15- Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism.
16- All things being equal, fat people use more soap.
17- If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
18- One-seventh of your life is spent on Monday.
19- By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
20- Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
21- The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets.
22- There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
23- This is as bad as it can get, but don't bet on it.
24- Never wrestle with a pig: You both get all dirty, and the pig likes it.
25- The trouble with life is, you're halfway through it before you realize it's a 'do it yourself' thing.

Nancy Pelosi (D- Cal) would be a mute.

(CNSNews.com) - President Bush's budget is "fiscally irresponsible, morally irresponsible, and a failure of leadership," said House Democratic Leader Nancy Pelosi on Monday. "Democrats insist upon fiscal discipline with budgets that pay as you go," Pelosi said in a statement - adding that in the coming months, Democrats "will fight for a budget that reflects the values of America's middle class: national security, prosperity, opportunity, fairness, community, and accountability." Pelosi accused President Bush of not having the "courage to admit that his tax cuts for millionaires were a mistake.""

I am always amazed when bitter people are accepted by the public. I mean... I don't think I have ever heard her say a kind word, especially about a Republican.

Granted, there are a lot of Republicans who are just as sharp tongued, but they can usually find something nice to say when pressed.

I think that's one reason I would never go into professional politics. My glass-half-full attitude doesn't mix well with all the pessimists and mean spiritedness. I try very hard to always find something good in everyone. I think that would end up being a bad thing in the cut-throat world of politics.

But wouldn't it be nice if, let's say every Tuesday, politicians could only say nice things. Nothing mean. Nothing bitter. Nothing condescending.

Ahh, yes... the sound of silence....

As if y'all really care what I think about it, right? Well... I'm happy TO didn't score a point. I'm really glad the Eagles lost (they killed themselves in the fourth quarter. Whoever was in charge of clock management should be fired. Then shot.) And I have another player to add to my list of cool players to pay attention to (ok... don't start... I don't follow the Pats on a regular basis, so... )

I LOVE Bruschi !! He's awesome.

OK... my real reason for writing this. The food. What we eat is usually as important or more so (depending on who's playing) than the game itself. We had some pork tamales, tortilla chips and queso, Wheat Thins™ with cream cheese and raspberry chipotle marinade (the simple put the block of cheese on a plate and dump the marinade on top of it... don't knock it 'til you try it!) R brought some King Cakes (she grew up in New Orleans... you do know what Tuesday is, right?) But... the "centerpiece" was ribs... more precisely, the ribs from Steve H's Eat What You Want and Die Like a Man. Sent Hubby to the store for supplies. Several phone calls later, he returns victorious with 8 racks of beef ribs (4 of which immediately went into the deep freeze). These must have been mutant cows or something. I mean, these ribs were huge, and some of them looked like small bone-in roasts after I carved them. So... followed his instructions to a T (I always do that the first time I try a recipe- then I'll play with it.) After 3 hours in the oven, the monsters came out of the oven (you need to buy the book to find out what you do before that). I carved and plated them. The reviews? Very yummy, but not as fall-off-the-bone as Steve H. promised. But I'm pretty sure that's not his fault- it was the sheer size of the ribs. They could have probably handled another half hour to forty-five minutes without too much trouble.

But, with all the other yummies, there was plenty left over. Guess what we're having for dinner tomorrow night?

Later, gang. Time to clean the kitchen and hit the sack. I'm zausted!

Several blogs are talking about the article "10 Easy Tips to Enjoy Super Bowl Sunday (Even If You Are a Girl)".

No, I'm not going to quote this... this... chick. She just doesn't get it. I might be the biggest football fan (edited- thanks for the catch, Russ!) in the house (well, until the Mom-in-Law and R show up... then I'll let them duke it out for the top billing). Some of my earliest memories are of my dad and I watching football. For my sixteenth birthday, my dad gave me 2 field box seats for a Monday Night Football game.

OK... time to put on my jersey, fire up the grill, and get this thing going. Don't even call the house during the game. I'm not answering.

Oh, yeah... and did I say, "Go Pats!" yet?

Fun was had by all, or so I was told. The Boy Scouts took the Cub Scouts snipe hunting. They melted things in the fire (evidently, powdered hot chocolate causes a nice flare up- I guess you need to learn something every day, right?) 10:30 rolled around, everyone started settling down, and the boys wanted the lantern to go to another tent- to watch TV (yes, Hubby responded correctly- "No, go to sleep.")

Sometime during the night, T1's eye started to "bug out" (our "cute" term for this weird thing that happens to only one of his eyes- he'll have an allergy attack, in one eye- it turns an attractive shade of deep red, tears up, and if medicine isn't administered quickly enough, this bizarre bulge appears on the side of his eye ball, not quite unlike a gross-looking tumor.... oh, I'm sorry... you were eating? oops)

So, 5:43 this morning, our big lug of a dog starts going nuts (quietly- don't ask, I don't think I could explain it if I had to), so I come downstairs, thinking he needs some quality time in the back yard. And find my family. Hubby surrendered about 4:30, and they broke up their campsite and came on home.

Hubby is now probably snoring already, and the boys are probably not far behind. I'll wake them up later. They need to go to the grocery store. I've decided that a couple of racks of ribs would go really well with the Super Bowl.

Mmmmmm... ribs... Have a great Sunday, everyone. And, oh, yeah- Go, Pats!

I'm feeling quite blonde right now (no offense to the natural blondes in the reading audience- I think the airheaded vapidness normally associated with blondes results from the amount of bleach artificial blondes absorb into their scalp to achieve The Look™).

So... I started the chicken-with-my-head-cut-off cleaning spree earlier today, then took the boys out to where they will be camping this evening with the Boy Scout troop. Got their tent all set up and ready to go. See? Here's proof:

Pretty good, eh? Then I left to go to my thing at church. (What? You didn't expect me to actually sleep in that thing, did you? I mean... it's gonna be cold... and rainy... and... no, thanks. That can be a moment of male-bonding for Hubby and the boys. Yeah... that's it!)

So... drove down to church... got the lightboard and video equipment fired up... went to get the cue sheets. The Production Director saw me coming down the hall. "Uh... Beth... what are you doing here?" "It's my week to produce." "No. It's Heather's week to produce. You're on next week." "Huh?"

Evidently, I got my calendar all screwed up. In a big ugly way. So... instead of having my life on fast forward, I can hit the slo-mo just a bit. But... still makes me feel like quite the idiot.

So... instead of calling cues this evening, I'm sitting on my couch, watching a few music videos, sipping a glass of wine, gobbling down some sushi. I'll get around to cleaning the house... later.

Hmmm... maybe having a blonde moment isn't so bad...

Well... we're out of here. T1, T2 and I are going with R and her 2 youngins to see some Bats. Then we'll listen to the Boys. R and I will drink some of these. I'm sure we'll have at least one order of these.

If we're back before... midnight, maybe?... you might find me in the chat room. Or not. You never know.

Light posting warning: tomorrow I will be prepping for the next wave of the in-law invasion. And I need to get the boys ready to go camping (maybe with pictures). And Sunday is the Super Bowl.

So... you may not hear from me until Monday. Can you survive without me? Sure you can! Go read some of my blogroll!

Looks like our favorite "not-quite-as-much-a-Native-American-as-he'd-like-us-to-believe" CU professor might be going down. Yeah, well...

h/t and scoop to Robert

... will it be named Dottie?

An asteroid expected to fly past Earth in 2029 will be visible to the naked eye, scientists projected Thursday.

It's a once-in-a-millennium event. And you may want to buy plane tickets now, as the flyby will be visible only from Europe, Africa and western Asia.

There has been no event like this in modern history. Some people have seen dramatic fireballs created by small space rocks blazing through Earth's atmosphere. And two house-sized asteroids have made closer passes. But they were not visible without telescopes.

The 2029 event will be the closest brush by a good-sized asteroid known to occur. The rock will pass Earth inside the orbits of some satellites. No other asteroid has ever been clearly visible to the unaided eye.

And, no, if you didn't get it, I'm not explaining it to you.

UPDATE: It has been brought to my attention that my attention to nit-picky details and random pieces of trivia might be really cool if you're my Trivial Pusuit partner, but... if you're reading a post with an obscure film quote reference, it might just be a bit too much.

OK... Here's the scoop... "Dottie" was the name of the asteroid in the movie Armageddon. Here's the quote (PG-13 warning):

Karl: Sir, I'm retired navy, I know all about classified. But one more thing. The person who finds her gets to name her right?
Dan: Yes, yes that's right, that's right.
Karl: I wanna name her Dottie after my wife. She's a vicious life-sucking bitch from which there is no escape.
Dan: That's... that's nice, Karl.

There. Now... go rent the movie. I will be bringing it Blogfest if anyone needs a fix. As for me... I will now go wallow in my new status as movie nerd...

Dang. Why can't I have neighbors like these girls?

Two teenage girls decided one summer's evening to skip a dance where there might be cursing and drinking to stay home and bake cookies for their neighbors.

So... as the sun was setting, these two girls (who had parental approval- under the condition that Dear Old Dad got some cookies, too, of course) set out to deliver their treats to their neighbors.

Just as dusk arrived a little after 9 p.m., Taylor and Lindsey began their mad spree. They didn't stop at houses that were dark. But where lights shone, the girls figured people were awake and in need of cookies. A kitchen light was on at Young's home.

Court records contain half a dozen letters from neighbors who said that they enjoyed the unexpected treats.

The cookies were good. It was a nice surprise. They weren't scared.

So, what's the big deal, you ask? Have these girls not received their medals for kindness yet or something? Far from it. They were sued!

But Young, home with her own 18-year-old daughter and her elderly mother, said she saw shadowy figures who banged and banged at her door. When she called out, "Who's there?" no one answered. The figures ran off.

Yeah, she called the cops. They stopped by, basicly said, "yum, cookies! may we?" and left. So, she left, spent the night at her sister's house, and then went to the hospital the next morning because she thought she was having a heartattack.

This is where it gets... weird. When the girls' parents found out what happened, they (and the girls)were horrified. They wrote her a letter of apology, offering to pay her medical bills. But, nooooooo.

The families had offered to pay Young's medical bills if she would agree to indemnify the families against future claims. Young wouldn't sign the agreement. She said the families' apologies rang false and weren't delivered in person.

So... she sued (the article didn't say on what grounds... I didn't know you could sue someone for scaring the bejesus out of you... dang... wish I known that... ) The judge ruled in Young's favor, awarding her almost $900 to cover medical expenses (not bad for an ER bill).

The judge said that he didn't think the girls acted maliciously but that it was pretty late at night for them to be out. He didn't award any punitive damages.

So, here's what I'm thinkin'... she had a bit of a scare. Granted. Makes sense to me. (Although, when I was scared by someone at the door, it was a suspected drug dealer at 3am, but that's a story for another day.) Anyway, when the "We're sorry! Please don't sue us!" she saw stars... or, more likely, dollar signs. She figured she could pick up the cost of the medical expenses plus enough to maybe put her daughter through college and maybe have enough left over to take her mom to Branson for that vacation she's been looking forward to. And I think maybe the judge knew that, too.

Am I being too harsh on Ms. Young? Uh... no. If she was honest about wanting to teach the girls a lesson, then she should have accepted the original offer with the addendum that the girls perform some sort of community service or something like that. She didn't want to teach them a lesson. She wanted to stick it to their parents.

This was definitely a frivalous lawsuit, and I'm glad the judge didn't feel like "teaching these girls a lesson." Think this will serve as a warning to others who think they can make a quick buck off of a misunderstanding? Neither do I.

And, just a note to the teenage girls... feel free to leave cookies on my door anytime you want. I promise not to call the cops, and I promise to share with my friends.

I cannot believe I'm going to do this. I'm actually going to defend the putz. Sort of.

For those of you who haven't been paying attention, Ward Churchill is the (now former) Chair of the University of Colorado's Ethnic Studies Department. He has gained notoriety due to an essay (and then a book) he wrote, saying that the 9/11 victims weren't really all that innocent and that they were, at best, "little Eichmans." All of this came to light because he was scheduled to speak at a small college somewhere and they canceled due to the media mess it caused.

Well, now... it looks like the Board of Regents has ordered a study to see if they should fire him.

The University of Colorado Board of Regents ordered an investigation Thursday into whether embattled ethnic studies professor Ward Churchill should be fired, and then took the extraordinary step of apologizing to the nation for Churchill's writings about the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks.

In a raucous meeting where university leaders were shouted down by Churchill supporters who defied orders to be silent, the regents voted unanimously to authorize a 30- day investigation to determine whether there is cause to fire Churchill, 57.

So, y'all are thinking that I'm jumping up and down with joy over Churchill's impending doom, right? Well, I'll admit that I wouldn't be upset if he was no longer influencing young skulls full of mush on a regular basis. But... this just doesn't seem right.

Let me explain. Churchill wrote his essay shortly after 9/11. That was three and a half years ago. It's been out there for the whole world (and, by default, the CU Board of Regents) to read. What this tells me is that the University of Colorado has no idea what its professors say/write/publish on a regular basis. They're not paying attention to what is not even a fine detail. Professors are, in large part, the sum total of their published worth. That's where they get their stature, the place in the faculty pecking order, their key to the teachers' lounge.

Nope. I'm not buying it. CU knew who they had as Chair of the ES department, and they knew what he wrote and what he taught in the classroom. Oh, maybe the President of the University and a few others intentionally kept themselves in the dark (plausible deniability and all that). But... you have to know that someone knew, and they didn't care. They probably applauded it (in their hearts and minds, but never out loud). Until they got caught, that is.

When Hamilton College asked him to speak, they opened a can of worms that CU never anticipated. Someone- a student, TA, parent, we may never know- took the time to do a little research on Churchill. And, obviously (based on what we've seen of the backlash) they didn't like what they found. So, they brought to the school's (and the public's) attention his writings, his philosophy, his thoughts.

And, now CU is in an unenviable position. If they stand by Churchill's First Ammendment Rights, they will seem just as whacked as their (former) ES dept. Chair. If they condemn him, they look irresponsible for letting the man teach at their school.

Either way, that does not bode well for future enrollment by centrist and conservative students, now, does it?

(h/t to Wizbang) For some reason, I can just picture Iraqis humming Twisted Sister as they amble down the street after I read this story:

The Iraqi police have investigated a case in the village of al-Mudhariya, which is just south of Baghdad. The villagers there say that before the election insurgents came and warned them that if they voted in last weekend's election, they would pay.

Now the people of this mixed village of Sunni and Shia Muslims, they ignored the threat and they did turn out to vote.

We understand that last night the insurgents came back to punish the people of al-Mudhariya, but instead of metering out that punishment the villagers fought back and they killed five of the insurgents and wounded eight. They then burnt the insurgents' car. So the people of that village have certainly had enough of the insurgents....

It would appear that people are getting sick of the insurgency. I understand, though, that this is the first report of Iraqis confronting insurgents and actually fighting back in such a way.

But certainly many people here see the insurgency as the work of foreigners who want to turn their country into some sort of Islamic state, like Afghanistan under the Talbian.

And a couple of days ago we spoke to some voters in central Baghdad and every one of them basically said that they'd like the insurgents to stop their bombing and shooting attacks. Some even said they'd voted just to send a message to the insurgents that they would not be frightened any more.

This is awesome! If we (the Coalition forces in country) can just keep things under control for a little while longer, the Iraqis will become more and more emboldened, and then we'll be on our way to a real peace there.

This story, along with all the other stories of bravery and courage surrounding the election in Iraq, and the entire liberation process, show that the critics were wrong (again.) This was never about democracy-at-gunpoint. They're right- that will never work. But, instead, this is about freeing prisoners, liberating the oppressed, and bringing justice to the wicked.

The Iraqis? Yeah. They're gonna be alright.

*walking away, humming... we're not gonna take it! no! we ain't gonna take it! we're not gonna take it ANYMORE!*

A three star Marine general, in a moment of, well... honesty... said that he likes to shoot certain people.

"Actually it's quite fun to fight them, you know. It's a hell of a hoot," Mattis said, prompting laughter from some military members in the audience. "It's fun to shoot some people. I'll be right up there with you. I like brawling.

"You go into Afghanistan, you got guys who slap women around for five years because they didn't wear a veil," Mattis said. "You know, guys like that ain't got no manhood left anyway. So it's a hell of a lot of fun to shoot them."

Better yet... go read what Slagle has to say about this, then come back. I'll wait.

You're back? OK. I think I've only got one or two things to add to Slagle's fine take on things:

1. What the Marine Corps Commandant meant when he said "should have chosen his words more carefully," what he meant was, "Dang, son! Make sure they are no open microphones when you say stuff like that!" (editted to portray my usual PGish standards).
2. CAIR's Executive director said about General Mattis' comments, "We do not need generals who treat the grim business of war as a sporting event. These disturbing remarks are indicative of an apparent indifference to the value of human life." Uh, no... Mr. Awad, this is exactly the kind of man we need leading our troops against monsters who will use the mentally challenged to carry out the work they're too chicken to do themselves. If our enemy fought with honor, courage, and discipline (like our military), then you might have a case. As it stands now? War is hell. They brought it on. Get over it.

General, Sir... we're proud of you and your brave Marines. Continue to do us proud. In the immortal words of T1 and T2's favorite Gunny, R. Lee Ermey, Semper Fi. Carry on, Sir.

Sometime early (well, early, to me!3:15ish am CST) this morning, someone from Canada was my 10,000th visitor. Welcome!

10K? Already? Wow. That's hard to imagine!

Thanks to everyone who's found this little site entertaining over the last few months. Hopefully you'll continue to like what you see!

In the last 12 hours, my little site has been visited by people from all over the world- literally. Japan, Iraq, the Netherlands, just to name a few. Wow. I'm... in awe. Thank you so much for stopping by!

Welcome to all of you visiting from Michelle Malkin's site. The post she referenced is here. But... feel free to kick off your shoes and stay a while. I hope you like what you see!

Thanks,Michelle! Wow!

Scientists have actually come up with a time table for global warming. Wonder if we're on schedule?

In the near future - the next 25 years - as the temperature climbs to the 1C mark, some specialised ecosystems will start to feel stress... Substantial losses of Arctic sea ice will threaten species such as polar bears and walruses, while in tropical regions "bleaching" of coral reefs will become more frequent - when the animals that live in the coral are forced out by high temperatures and the reef may die.... But when the temperature moves up to the 3C level, expected in the early part of the second half of the century, these effects will become critical....Above the 3C raised level, which may be after 2070, the effects will be catastrophic: the Arctic sea ice will disappear, and species such as polar bears and walruses may disappear with it, while the main prey species of Arctic carnivores, such as wolves, Arctic foxes and the collared lemming, will have gone from 80 per cent of their range, critically endangering predators....In human terms there is likely to be catastrophe too, with water stress becoming even worse, and whole regions becoming unsuitable for producing food, while there will be substantial impacts on global GDP.

Dang... why does this all sound like Truman from Armageddon?

It's what we call a Global Killer....the end of mankind. Half the world will be incinerated by the heat blast.....the rest will freeze to death in a nuclear winter. Basicly, the worst part of the Bible !

You know... I'd let this bother me if there was one shread of evidence to support global warming. But it's just not there. Nothing to say that any changes we see are not the result of more sophisticated technology or natural cycles.

Come on! Give me something to work with!!

Guess who's sending Pope John Paul II get well wishes... Mehmet Ali Agca.

Name sound familiar? Anyone? Bueller? He's the guy who used the Pope for target practice in 1981.

Well... uh... um... that's awfully... nice of him. (h/t Dead Pool)

Last night on HardBoiled with Chris Matthews on MSNBC, Ron Jr. (geez- why couldn't the Gipper have named him something else?) made the comment that he thought the hug between Mrs. Norwood and Safia Taleb al-Suhail at the SotU speech was somehow scripted. (FYI- Mrs. Norwood explained to Diane Sawyer this morning that it was not, in any way, staged.)

Two things. First, Ron, just because your party can't do a single thing without checking the camera angle (case in point) doesn't mean that we're all that disingenuous. Some of us just act- without wondering how it will look on the 11 o'clock news. Ms. al-Suhail reached out to Mrs. Norwood because it was the thing to do, for so many reasons- gratitude, compassion, love. Do you even know what those things are?

Second, uh... Ron... did you happen to notice who was sitting by Mrs. Norwood? Here's a picture to refresh your memory.

That, my friend, is a Marine and a Soldier. I dare you to say that all of that was scripted to those two. Dang, the soldier (who lost his arm in service to our country, in case you were wondering) could take you on his own. The Marine would just hang back to buy the first round.

Eh. Then again. Mrs. Norwood is a Marine Mom. She could take you on her own.

Just... go here. PG-13 if not R alert. But... oh, man... best intentions and all that. "Seemed like a good idea at the time!" bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

Would anyone like to explain to me why Good Morning America is advertising on Fox and Friends???

It's been a while since I did a round-up (and if I tried to fisk the Dem response in toto, I'd have to hurt something), so here you go:

First, in world news:

• In Tbilisi, Georgia (if you're looking on a map, here's a hint- it's no where near Atlanta)

  Georgian Prime Minister Zurab Zhvania, who helped lead the revolution that toppled the corruption-tainted regime of Eduard Shevardnadze, was killed Thursday by what officials said apparently was gas from a heater.... A gas-fired heating stove was in the main room of the mezzanine-floor apartment, where a table was set up with a backgammon set lying open upon it. Zhvania was in a chair; Usupov's body was found in the kitchen.

  Does this smell... fishy to anyone else?
• According to this story, the Ukranian Orange Revolution was helped along, in part, by some well-placed cases of vodka."

  When the miners (who were on their way to Kiev to wreck havoc at the pro-Western rallies) got on their buses and trains, they found to their joy case after case of vodka – just for them. When they arrived in Kiev, trucks awaited them filled with more cases of vodka – all free provided by 'friends' of the Donetsk coal miners. Completely soused, they never made it to Independence Square. Too hammered blind to cause any violence at all, they had a merry time, passed out and were shipped back to Donetsk."

  And where did all the vodka come from? According to the story, it was a joint venture between the CIA and MI-6. Priceless...

And in the States:

• The Citizens Project wants the IRS to investigate Focus on the Family for possible election law violations.

  In a letter Tuesday to the IRS, Citizens Project complained about a November article in a magazine printed by Focus comparing presidential candidates George W. Bush and John Kerry and their positions on abortion, stem-cell research and same-sex marriage.
  
  "You're pro-life, and you want to preserve the traditional definition of marriage for the next generation," the article states. "So which of the presidential candidates comes closest to sharing your values?"

  So... stating a group of facts about candidates is against the law? Sounds like useful information to me. And, anyway, that letter was sent out via the FotF lobby organization, which follows different laws than the main organization. Yeah, I know it's splitting hairs, but...
• Ward Churchill, who is now infamous for his essay claiming that the 9/11 victims weren't as innocent as we'd all like to believe, might be some more trouble. First, Hamilton College canceled his talk (which started this whole thing). The Colorado legislature passed a nonbinding resolution, condemning his essay. The University of Colorado Board of Regents is meeting tonight to potentially determine his fate with the school. Some lawmakers are questioning funding for the school at this point.

  Some lawmakers yesterday urged the legislature to re-examine the amount of money set aside for the Ethnic Studies Department, saying while Churchill has a right to free speech, taxpayers need not subsidize his opinions.

  Now, on top of everything else, it comes to light that Churchill has been kicked out of the American Indian Movement and International Indian Treaty Council. That can't be good, especially since he teaches Ethnic Studies.
  
• Representative Nancy Pelosi (D-California) and Senator Harry Reid (D- Nevada) gave the Democratic response to President Bush's SotU speech last night. Although you could (if you felt like it) cut them a little slack, since they don't get to read/hear the President's speech before writing their response, the response was full of outright lies and intentional misrepresentations. You couldn't help but laugh at some of the things they said (and no, I'm NOT talking about the Groundhog Day jokes.) Some of the items that they said the President did not cover, he covered in detail. Loved it. Really.
• In a companion story, we find Sheila Jackson Lee (is she really from Texas?) trying to rewrite the definition of "occupying force." You just keep on talking, Sheila... keep talking...
• Actor Ron Silver said that "celebrity backlash" helped the President's re-election. Gee, Ron... ya think?

In... uh... other news:

• Swiss businessmen have launched a new brew: Queer Beer.

  "It really was just a crazy idea at first, but we've now come up with a product."
  
  Hutmacher, from Zug. added: "Our beer is a humorous attempt to identify with the gay scene and we hope it will help people to feel relaxed with their sexuality and not hide away."
  
  And he added despite its provocative name the lager wasn't just aimed at homosexuals but also straight people.
  

  
  For some reason, I just don't see it catching on in the straight community. But it might just be me... but I doubt it.
  
  
• And... uh... one last one, provided with no commentary, because... well... I can't think of a single thing to say.

Ten out of 11 women who tested a so-called Orgasmatron reported an increase in sexual pleasure.

I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who sent me "hope you're feeling better soon!" wishes in the last few days. That really meant a lot to me.

What happened was allergies (yuk) conspired against my sinuses, and an infection took hold (eustacian tubes swollen... the whole ten yards). Then, on top of it, a migraine snuck in on me. I didn't realize it was a migraine, because, well... sinus infections can hurt like the dickens. Finally, on Tuesday, I surrendered and took my migraine medicine, not because I figured it out, but because I was out of options. And... within 4 or 5 hours, I was feeling a whole lot better. Yesterday (Wednesday), I was still stuffy, but no pain. Today (so far) is the same.

*Sigh* Come to think of it, when I was finally diagnosed with migraines, it was after 8 or 9 days of me thinking that it was all just allergies and I needed to just get through it. Hmmm... maybe I should just take the dang medicine first and ask questions later.

Oh, well... live (and hurt) and learn. But, thanks again for your warm thoughts and (in some cases) prayers. Warm fuzzies always make me feel better.

... there is very little if anything worth being up at 4:30 in the morning for. Nope. Not a darn thing... zzzzzzz....

Yeah, I know everyone has said something about the speech. Why should I be left out? I didn't watch it live- was watching Mythbusters with the guys. Didn't think they'd care to watch the speech (I was right.)

So... now I can't sleep, so I'm watching the rebroadcast on FoxNews. Interesting. Very interesting. He was interupted by applause 65 times (but I did notice that many of those were quite one-sided). Here's some of the moments that made me go "hmmm..." or *snicker*... or out-right laugh... or cry, just a little....

• My budget substantially reduces or eliminates more than 150 government programs that are not getting results, or duplicate current efforts, or do not fulfill essential priorities. The principle here is clear: a taxpayer dollar must be spent wisely, or not at all. (oooo... that's not gonna make some people happy... who gets the axe? Not that I'm complaining, but... dang. Woohoo! )
  
• Four years of debate is enough -- I urge Congress to pass legislation that makes America more secure and less dependent on foreign energy. (Is it wrong to (once again) want to give him an "Amen"?)
• I have a message for every American who is 55 or older: Do not let anyone mislead you. For you, the Social Security system will not change in any way. (ya hear that, you fear mongers?)
• (Refering to Social Security) I will listen to anyone who has a good idea to offer. We must, however, be guided by some basic principles. (principles? Well... that leaves a whole lot of politicians out of the debate, Sir.)
• Because courts must always deliver impartial justice, judges have a duty to faithfully interpret the law, not legislate from the bench. As president, I have a constitutional responsibility to nominate men and women who understand the role of courts in our democracy, and are well qualified to serve on the bench -- and I have done so. (Preach on, Brother W!)
• The Constitution also gives the Senate a responsibility: Every judicial nominee deserves an up-or-down vote. (I noticed Senator Biden laughing at that. Yeah, Sparky, he was talking to YOU and all your little obstructionist friends.)
• The government of Saudi Arabia can demonstrate its leadership in the region by expanding the role of its people in determining their future. (Hint. Hint. Not like they'll listen, but it's a nice thought.)
• Syria still allows its territory, and parts of Lebanon, to be used by terrorists who seek to destroy every chance of peace in the region. (You'd think they're not paying attention. Do they really think he won't put them down if given a reason? Half a reason?)
• Today, Iran remains the world's primary state sponsor of terror -- pursuing nuclear weapons while depriving its people of the freedom they seek and deserve. (But, Sir... they say it's just for peaceful energy use... riiiight.)
• In any nation, casting your vote is an act of civic responsibility; for millions of Iraqis, it was also an act of personal courage, and they have earned the respect of us all. (And it pains me to think that people in our own country don't understand that civic responsibility. Maybe they can learn a lesson from our friends the Iraqis.)
• We will not set an artificial timetable for leaving Iraq, because that would embolden the terrorists and make them believe they can wait us out. (But... but... we need to know when they're coming home!!! We need a time table! We need a plan! Quagmire! Quagmire! uh... sorry... let the moonbats take over for a second)
• Our generation has dreams of its own, and we also go forward with confidence. The road of Providence is uneven and unpredictable -- yet we know where it leads: It leads to freedom. (What a beautiful ending... I love it!)

But, in the end, what struck me most, what touched me deepest, was this. There are no words needed after this. It says it all.

She wrote, "When Byron was home the last time, I said that I wanted to protect him like I had since he was born. He just hugged me and said: 'You've done your job, mom. Now it's my turn to protect you.'" Ladies and gentlemen, with grateful hearts, we honor freedom's defenders, and our military families, represented here this evening by Sgt. Norwood's mom and dad, Janet and Bill Norwood.

In case you weren't paying attention, that's Safia Taleb al-Suhail, an Iraqi who voted on Sunday, in freedom, hugging Sgt. Norwood's mom.

The Parents Television Council watched 171 hours of MTV's Spring Break 2004 coverage. And guess what! They concluded that MTV is a "smut peddler." Uh... tell us something we didn't know.

The PTC found fault with the teen-targeted network based on an examination of 171 hours of programming that aired the week of March 20 last year, during its annual "Spring Break" celebration. The analysis, contained in a report titled "MTV Smut Peddlers," spotted 13 sexual scenes per hour in MTV's reality series, as well as 32 instance of foul language per hour in its music videos... The report declared reality series "Making the Band 2" the channel's most offensive series, chronicling 208 instances of foul language in four total hours.

Some of us remember back in the day (ok... come on... trivia time... what was the first video played on MTV?) when MTV was where you went to watch all the latest music videos. Headbangers Ball was an event. But not anymore. Do they actually play videos anymore?

An MTV spokeswoman said, "It's just unfortunate that Mr. Bozell has yet again attempted to unfairly and unaccurately paint MTV with a brush of irresponsibility around sexual and violent content. The report underestimates young people's level of intellect and sophistication."

No, it's unfortunate that kids are forcefed this stuff say in and day out and we parents are told that it's just "today's culture." Yes, my kids are intelligent, but, I'm happy to say that they have not yet reached that level of sophistication.

When I was eleven, MTV launched and changed the music world. My parents might have looked at the tv funny, but they were not afraid of what I might see. The way things are today, my eleven years won't be watching MTV. If I have my way, they won't be watching it when they're 18. Or twenty-eight. There are just some things they don't need to see.

Last Friday, there was the dinner. It was supposed to be a nice, peaceful meal with a chance for Iranian and American counterparts to chat about that pesky nuke problem. So much for peaceful.

First, Senator Joe Biden was late (he said he went to the wrong place). Then there was the menu.

Moderator David Ignatius, a Washington Post columnist, apologised for the fact that wine had been served, upsetting the Muslim guests. Waiters cleared the offending glasses.

They also removed the menus since the hotel had planned to serve non-hallal meat, breaching Islamic dietary rules. Even the soup spoons were withdrawn - erroneously, it transpired.

What was on the menu? Pork chops? I mean, really, people. It's not like the entire world hasn't been made aware of Islamic dietary restrictions over the past few years (which are remarkably similar to kosher guidelines, but don't tell them that). If you're trying to play nice with someone, you don't start off the evening by offending them. Geeez.

Well, the discussion began without Senator Biden, who showed up an hour and a half late. Iran's Foreign Minister was quite insistent that their nuclear program was for peaceful purposes only, but then...

"We want to be independent. That's why we developed our nuclear technology. It has become a matter of national pride," he said.

Asked whether it might be in Iran's national interest to foreswear nuclear enrichment rather that risk isolation, tougher economic sanctions and military action, he said maintaining scientific self-sufficiency was one of Tehran's highest goals.

"Iran cannot be ignored. Its rights cannot be denied. Such a country with so much potential has to be given room to play its role," Kharrazi said.

Sounds peaceful to me. How about you? And, then Senator Biden rode in to save the day. Or, at least he would have if his wife hadn't further insulted the Iranians' sensibilities.

His wife's figure-hugging leather pants and a top that left her arms bare from the shoulders were in stark contrast to Vice-President Masoumeh Ebtekar's all-enveloping chador, although both wore black.

Are there no protocol officers available for these people? I'm not saying that Mrs. Biden should have worn a burkha or anything. I'm just saying that black leather pants aren't appropriate for any meeting with high-ranking government officials (unless of course you're employed by an escort service). Was she trying to offend them? If so, she did a pretty good job.

The debate over Alberto Gonzales' nomination for Attorney General is heating up in the Senate. Mel Martinez (R- FL) even endorsed him in Spanish on the floor of the Senate (the Democrats quickly responded with a statement, in Spanish, against the Gonzales' nomination.

This is driving me nuts. For how long have the Republicans been accused of racism when they would state "judge the person by his record and not his color." So, now the Democrats have issues with Gonzales (not the same ones I have, but... and we all know they'd oppose anyone the President nominated- let's be honest here), and what do the Republicans say? The Democrats are being racist!

No, they're not. They're objecting to Gonzales because President Bush likes him. They don't need another reason. If it wasn't for his views on foreign detainees (which the Left views as against the law) they'd find another reason to dislike him. It has nothing to do with the color of his skin or where his ancestors are from. He has an "R" after his name. That is enough.

Don't play the race card and pull us down to their level. I'm sick and tired of being called a racist. I really don't feel like have "hypocrit" added to the mix, thankyouverymuch.

Castro calls W deranged. Well... um... I guess he'd know.

The Cuban leader, wearing his olive green military uniform, linked Bush's government to corruption and torture. He said he closely watched the U.S. leader's inauguration speech Jan. 20 and saw "the face of a deranged person."

"If only it were just the face," he said to roars of applause by educators from 52 countries at the conference. The Cuban leader also warned against a potential invasion by the United States, a theme often repeated in public addresses. Washington has said repeatedly it has no plans to attack the Caribbean island.

"If they make the mistake of attacking this country, well Mr. Bush, or whoever will be there, I recommend to you it would be better if you use 50 nuclear bombs to exterminate all of us," he said.

Uh... no, thanks, Fidel. Once you're cleared out of there, we'd really like to be able to vacation there. And the idea of freeing all those people you oppress... ah... gives me warm fuzzies just thinking about it.

As for President Bush being "deranged"... coming from you, I'm sure he's taking it as a compliment.

So, I was reading my “Chinese New Year forecast”… no, I do not buy into horoscopes. I hardly ever read them. Even if you take away the fact that they’re not real, I just don’t like my sign(s). My “normal” sign is Scorpio- I really dislike scorpions- not quite as bad as Hubby, but I will squish them, not negotiate with them. (And don’t go into the whole cusp thingie, or the evolution of the Scorpio into an Eagle- not buying it.) Then there’s my Chinese year sign. I’m a rooster. A chicken!!! Give me a break. Why couldn’t I be a beautiful horse or a fierce dragon, or even a cute bunny? Nope- I’m poultry.

Then, there’s the fact that there is never bad news. I’ve never read “Just go back to bed- it’s not worth getting up today.” It’s all sunshine and roses. Or, if there is trouble, there’s always some trite advice for making it all better. Sorry, not exactly the real world, is it?

OK. All that said, I read the Chinese New Year forecast in a magazine. Good news for everyone- this year (the year of the Rooster, no less!) is the beginning of a cycle of good health for all signs! And, for us roosters? Well, first they make us chickens feel all warm and fuzzy.

Roosters are as confident and sincere as they are brilliant. (how nice of you to notice!)Wherever you go, you make a stir, either with your outspoken opinions (ok, you got me there!) or your sense of style (is jeans and t-shirts a "style" these days?) With your loving heart and deep sense of commitment, you make your family life tops- and no doubt, your spouse knows he's the luckiest man around! (no, really?)

Then they go into what's ahead for this year:

Get ready for one of the luckiest years yet! (woohoo! Bring on the mega millions tickets!) Not only will you win money and travel (and the TX Lotto!), but you'll feel a greater sense of peace than you have in years. The result: You'll find it easy to accept that things will work out for the best (when you don't actually come into all that money.)

OK... so, what does that mean for lil ole me? Not much. When the Mega Millions or TX Lotto gets over $50 mil, you can bet I'll grab a ticket or two. Do I think I'll win? Nah, but I usually end up (over time) coming out even (with the $5 and $10 dollar wins from time to time.)

Why are people drawn to horoscopes? Do they really need someone to tell them everything is ok? Do they really need that "it's out of our control, but it will all be ok"? Do they need that crutch?

I don't need a horoscope to tell me it's all going to be ok. But that's just me.

Don’t put away the long johns and mittens just yet.Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow, so it’s 6 more weeks of winter.

You know, if I lived somewhere where there was a real winter, I might care. But, here, grey skies and drizzly weather just isn’t any fun.

In other weather news, bears, bees and caterpillars (oh, my?) are divided as to how bad the rest of winter will be.(Caterpillars and squirrels said bad winter; praying mantis, bears, and bees said mild winter.) You’d think if they’re so in touch with Ma Nature that they’d have it all figured out.

This is provided without (much) comment, because it just makes sense (found on Strange Cosmos):

Pet Rules--Memo to the Family Dog and Cat

1. When I say move, it means go someplace else. It does not mean switch positions with each other so there are still two of you in the way.

2. The dishes on the floor are yours and contain your food. All other dishes are mine and contain my food. (Please note: placing a paw or nose-print in the middle of my dinner does not stake your claim on it, nor do I find it aesthetically pleasing in any way.)

3. The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

4. I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. Locate your inner beast and remember that sleeping animals can actually curl up in a ball, so it is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible.

5. My compact discs are not miniature Frisbees.

6. For the last time, humans like to use the bathroom alone. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it won't help to claw, whine, meow, bite the knob, or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. (Trust me, I have been using the bathroom for years...canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.)

7. When you see me asleep on the couch, it is not funny to make a sudden leap onto my stomach and drop a chew toy, bone or jingle ball on my crotch (or stick your cold, wet nose in my ear), no matter how much that makes other family members laugh.

8. Dog: Don't think for a minute that making a sad face and whimpering pathetically will get you out of trouble when I find a puddle of pee on the carpet (or trash from the trash can in a trail from the can to the back yard). The face and the whimpering only validate that you knew it was wrong when you did it.

9. Cat: My sitting down to bite into a juicy sandwich is not a signal for you to begin gagging loudly and then hocking up the most disgusting hairball in history. (ok- we don't have a cat, but I remember this all too well from when we did. Ew. - B)

10. Dog and Cat: The proper order is kiss me, then go lick yourself. I cannot stress this enough.

To pacify you I have posted the following message on our front door:

Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and Complain About Our Pets:

1. They live here; you don't.

2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.

3. I like my pet(s) better than I like most people.

4. To you it's an animal. To me, it's an adopted child who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and is speech-challenged.

5. Dogs and cats are better than kids. They eat less, are easier to train, usually come when called, don't ask for money, never drive your car, don't hang out with losers, don't drink or smoke, and don't worry about the latest fashions.

6.(This one I'm adding- B.) No, our allergies are not caused by the dogs. We are not allergic to dogs. We are allergic to the trees that infest this area of the country. To get away from these allergies, we would have to move far away from here. And we would take our dogs with us. But we would not take you.

Any questions?

The MSM is all atwitter because Medicare is going to cover Viagra (and all the other E.D. medications) on a case-by-case basis. Not everyone is happy about this.

Rep. Gil Gutknecht, R-Minn., who opposes the Medicare Modernization Act, in a statement he said, "If we are going to be paying for Viagra now, sooner or later we will be paying for other recreational drugs."

Recreational drugs? Geez. This guy is an idiot (who obviously does not suffer from E.D.) How can these drugs be considered "recreational"?

Here's the scoop, Sparky. These drugs have helped a lot of men (and their wives). They have given back some of their self-esteem, their vim, their vigor. And, while I will concede that they might not be medically "necessary", they definitely make life more worth living for some men.

I look at it this way- you have a choice. You can pay for the little blue pill, or you can pay for the trips to the shrink and the anti-depressants when these guys feel "less than virile." Your call.

So, I've been in and out of consciousness the last three days, trying to fight off this sinus infection. During my moments of awareness, I had FoxNews on (surprise, surprise, surprise.) On Sunday, the coverage was almost entirely on the Iraqi elections (as it should have been). But, the last 2 days, the coverage has been a little about the election, some about the woman in Georgia who was missing, but mostly, it was about the Michael Jackson trial. Make it go away!

Don't get me wrong. If he is guilty of what he's been accused of, he should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law, then put in jail where the fine, upstanding men of Cellblock 12 can administer some of their own justice (if any of them are courageous enough to touch him, that is). But, I don't need to see him getting out of the SUV and walking into the court house every day. I don't need to know what's he wearing and how he's acting. Let me know when the trial starts (with audio only, thankyouverymuch) and let me know the verdict.

That is my one big complaint about FoxNews (I wouldn't know about the other news networks- I rarely if ever watch them). They latch on to these sensational stories (MJ's trial, the Kobe Bryant case, Chandra Levy, Lacy Peterson, Lori Hacking, Cyndi Lynch- the list goes on and on) and they won't let go. I don't need this much information. Really.

I know that they need to fill the time with someithing on slow news days. Is there nothing new in the world of science or medicine? Or has the American public dumbed themselves down so much that this is all they think we can handle?

Please. No more MJ. I beg of you. Have mercy!